Jasper Borcherds is the total deff-uh-NISCH-un of a Labrador re-TREE-ver. No Woof! Outgoing.
Check!
Gentle. Check!
Affectionate. Check!
EE-grrr to please. Check!
Great with liddle humans. Check!
Smart. Check!
Frenly. Check-itty Check Check Check!
An Jasper is also Really, Really, Really Chill!
Me an my assistant met Jasper at his workplace (a really big, open, Cool Kibbles place with lotsa light, an WIN-dows, and glass walls), where he is Speshull Assistant in Charge of the Pooch Greeter Division.
Soon as we walked in, Jasper trotted right up for the Wag-an-Sniff. He’s a big pooch, TRAY hansome, thick black hair, kinda wavy, big head (well, big all over, 85 powns). Real frenly brown eyes, an rockin’ a blue collar.
“SO glad you could make it, Bonz! Welcome! I’m Jasper. This is my Mom Sophia an one of my co-workers, Phil. My Dad, Guy, works elsewhere. So let’s we’ll go sit in the CON-frence Room.”
We got settled at one end of a really, really long, important-looking table, an my assistant rooted around in The Satchel an produced a nice big (size-appropriate) bacon treat, which Jasper ever-so-gently accepted.
“So, tell me how you found your Forever Famly.”
Jasper settled in, crossed his sizable paws, an began.
“Mom hadn’t ever had a dog an she’d always wanted one – spuh-SIFF-ickly a LAB. So she went on The Line an found ME in my-AM-eee. Soon as I was 8-weeks old an didn’t need Mommy Milk any more, an had my, you know, No Puppies Pro-seed-jure, Mom drove down an got me and we drove to my New Furever Home.”
“Were you nervous at first, you know, meeting your new Mom an Dad an all?” I inquired.
“Nope! I’ve always been a chill kinda pooch, even as a young sprout. On the ride to my Furever Home I just curled up, an dozed. Mom an Dad call me a Master Napper.
“I guess I should say – full disclosure an all – when I was still a liddle pupper, I might have nibbled a teensy bit on the BASE-boards. Ummm, an perhaps I also demolished my bed (beds).”
I had to laff. “I think that is listed as a requirement in the New Puppy Play Book. This,” I looked around the room, “is a Very Crispy Biscuits place.”
“I’ve been coming here ever since I was a puppy. My first time here, I met Marty an Rossi, they were the official greeters at the time. They took me in right away an taught me what’s what. I just followed their lead, an they shared a lotta Dog Wisdom.”
“Sounds like you have a busy schedule,” I commented.
“Yup. I’m here every day except Wednesday. That’s when I go to day care at A Dog’s Life. That’s always TRAY fun! I have tons of pooch pals there. I’m always like ‘Hey guys! Let’s PLAY!’ An off we go!”
“So, do you travel much? I uh-SOOM you swim, bein’ a Lab an all? Any fave toys?”
“Well, I’ve been to North Carolina. There’s a lotta NAY-chur up there. An Miss-uh-SIPPEE. I love what is called HIKE-ing. It’s the same as walkin’, but you do it in these Very Cool Kibbles places with trees an PONDS an BIRDS an stuff.
“I also love goin’ out inna boat. An swimmin’! (I think swimmin’ is a Lab Requirement.) In the POND there’s DUCKS! I LOVE DUCKS. Also CHIGGENS! We play chase. I never ackshully CATCH ’um, tho. They’re surprisingly speedy liddle feather dusters.
“Oh, an the O-shun: diggin’ in the sand an splashin’ around in the soap-sudsy-lookin’ waves – PAWsome!
“I have lotsa stuffies! Well, I guess I should say HAD. I mostly tear ’em to shreds. All except for my stuffy Lamm! I DON’T tear IT to shreds. It’s my Comfort Stuffy.”
“Do you do, like, any tricks?” I asked randomly.
“Oh, sure. You know, the USUAL: Sit, Stay, Down, Paw. Apparently I’m considered Easy to Train because I am Food Motivated. It seems like a Smart Deal to me. I do a liddle something, no sweat, an I get a Treat. Easy Peasy. For example – Watch.”
Jasper sat up. His Mom said “Down,” an he plopped down, paws stretched out in front. Then she placed two liddle treats on each front paw an Jasper just sat there, laser focused on his Mom’s face, like he hadn’t even noticed the treats. Then his Mom said “Break!” an those treats vanished inna nanosecond.
I was impressed. Honestly, I don’t think I could do that. Full disclosure, I wouldn’t WANT to, anyway.
“Woof, Jasper, that’s TRAY Cool Kibbles! I bet you have lotsa pooch an human frens, an famly right?”
“Right, Bonz! There’s Tiki, she’s Mom’s horse. We hang out in her stall. Her Horse Tails totally crack me up. Then some pooch pals – let’s see: here at the office, there’s Trigger, he’s a Red Lab, an Mabel, she’s an Aussie Doodle, an Marty an Rossi. An my human grownup an liddle kid frens, woof, lemme think, um, Jonna, Amanda, Krystle, Mike, Bethany, Pierre, Ryan, Jessica (she’s Keeper of the Treats, here at work).
“When we have our weekly Team Meeting, me an Trigger an Mabel and all the liddle human kids get to zoom all over the place. WAY Fun! An you should see Mabel. She slides gracefully across the floor like an ice skater. No Woof! It’s amazing.
“In my human family, there’s Gramma Jennifer, Grampa Derek, Aunt Corrine an Ooma Betty. They’re all Totally Cool Kibbles.
“Here at work, we all have lunch together right here at this very table. It’s always fun. Of course, all us staff pooches are Very, Very Well-Mannered. It’s called Team Building. I’m lookin’ forward to startin’ our next big project. Then, hopefully, I’ll get to visit the job site an wear my very own Hard Hat. I’m not sure yet, tho.”
“Woof! Jasper!” I said with admiration, “you sure have an intrestin’ life. When do you relax?”
“At work I often get to lay out in the sun, an, at home, I love munchin’ on BLOO-berries an watching nature shows on TV.”
Headin home, I was laughin’ to myself, envisioning Jasper nibbling treats off his paws an chasin’ chiggens; an Mabel gliding across the office floor like an ice skater.
Till next time,
Don’t Be Shy
We are always looking for pets with interesting stories. To set up an interview, email
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