I hafta admit, I might have been the teeniest bit nervous when I first met Bella Blue Nordstrand this week. I don’t mean she was a Snobnose or anything (she was super nice an frenly), but she was just so ee-BOO-lee-ent (plus at least twice as big as me).
Anyway, Bella an her human were in the driveway waiting for me an my assistant, an bounce-hopped up to the car with lotsa welcoming barkety-barks.
Bella’s a BIG beautiful Bernese Mountain Dog: about 100+ pounds, black, gold an white, with Super Thick fur, really, really big gold paws, brown eyes, anna Very Large Happy Smile as she hopped over for the Wag-an-Sniff.
“Oh goody,” she said happily, “you’re HERE! This is my Dad, Barry. My Mom, Carmen, is workin’.”
“Good morning, Miss Bella,” I managed, standin’ straight as I could, lookin’ up at her. “Um, that’s a lovely collar you’re wearin’!” (It was sturdy, yet FEH-muh-nin: woven in pink an green.)
“Thank you! It’s from Switzerland, where my AN-cestors are from. So, come’on IN! We’ll sit on the pool PADDY-o.”
Bella’s pool looked like it was just disappearin’ over the EDGE, No Woof! Beyond was this really long, wide Sea Grape field, an after THAT, all you could see was the O-shun. Bella stood there, lookin’ out, sniffin the air. I was, like, “WOOF!”
“I KNOW! Right?” Bella said. “I love feelin’ the sea breeze in my face, an buryin’ coconuts on the beach. If Mom an Dad see my buryin’ one, I hafta to move it Elsewhere so Nobody Knows!”
Chucklin’ buh-hind my paw, I opened my notebook. “I’m eager to hear how you found your Furever Family.”
Bella trotted back, swallowed the snack my assistant had removed from The Satchel, an began her tail.
“It started with the famly bizness: It was Christmas eve, about 6 years ago, an instead of doin’ the fun Christmas stuff humans usually do, Dad an the rest of the family were zoomin’ around like crazy, hurryin’ to make a last minute delivery to clients for a project that HADDA be done by Jan-you-wary. They hadda go from New Jersey to Tennessee (or the other way around. I forget.).
Anyway, it was 2 a.m. Christmas Day when they finally got home, an just sorta fell over inna pile. “THEN, outta the BLOO, Dad said to Mom: ‘I know: We should get that puppy we wanted.’ So they did!”
They called the breeder in minny-SODA, to see if any puppers were still available. Me an my brother WERE. Even tho, at only 10 pounds, I was the RUNT, Mom an Dad picked me! But my big brother was coverin’ me with his paws to protect me till he was sure Mom an Dad were Good Humans. When he decided they were, he let me go with them soon as I had the No Puppies Procedure.”
“Oh, Woof, Miss Bella, that is SOME Tail! So what’s life been like?”
“Totally Cool Kibbles, Mr. Bonzo. I have pawsome human sisters anna brother: Brianna, Erin an David; an my dog cousins: Erin’s dog Dexter, a Golden Ree-TREE-ver; Brianna’s pooches, Moose, a Chocolate Lab; an Murphy, a Vishla; an David’s dog Cookie, a liddle Terrier.
“I love playin’, speshully with liddle dogs. I’m Very Gentle, an they like to climb all over me. When I’m playin’ with Dexter, I spin him around. He’s Cool with that, an I’m always careful so I don’t accidently knock him into next week.
“I also had fun bein’ what’s called ‘On Set.’ See, for some reason, Dad decided to make a film, which is a story you can watch like TV or even bigger. Anyway, when they were makin’ it, I got to hang out on what they call The Set. It’s a buncha stuff put together to look like whatever story is they’re tellin’. It’s confusin’ but way fun. I think Dad should do another one with a dog in it.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I agreed. “So, whaddya do for exercise?”
“Well, being a rather, um, large grrrl, I hafta be careful with humans. Like, on walks, I have a Really Strong harness and leash. See, Bernese Mountain Dogs LOVE bein’ in harness, an LOVE pulling stuff. I mean, that’s what we were bred for, as strong farm dogs. So if Mom an Dad an me aren’t careful, I can topple ’em right over. Speshully on the Stairs.”
“I can totally understand that!” I said, then, “Do you like travelin’?”
“Oh, woof, YES!” she replied enthusiastically. “I’m great in the car, an flyin’ too. We have a speshul plane so I have enuf room. An we go to fun places, like Colorado, speshully when there’s SNOW. I love runnin’ up the mountain, then slidin’ down; an sittin’ inna snowbank lickin’ snowflakes off my nose. Snow tastes pretty good, ackshully. I don’t wanna come back inside!
“Down here, I like playin’ in the O-shun. When I was a puppy, I went to Paw Prints an got enrolled in swimmin’ classes. But after my first lesson, they wrote on my daily report card ‘Did Not Go In.’ So I kinda eased into swimming, in the O-shun. When I see a liddle human in the O-shun, I always wanna swim up an save ’um. It’s an IN-stink. But they ackshully don’t need savin’, an I guess I look kinda scary swimmin’ toward them. So I don’t do that anymore.
“O, an I gotta tell you about this one accidental advenchur: Out in Colorado, my babysitter was takin’ me for a liddle walk when, alluva sudden, a neighbor turned on a leaf blower an scared the Total Kibbles outta me. I broke away and took off runnin’. When Mom an Dad got home at about 8 p.m., they were Very Upset an Scared cuz they couldn’t find me. They thought I was Gone Furever, lost in the mountains. Then, at 4 a.m., their frens called to say I was at their house, an had been comin’ from the mountains. It was 10 miles away from my house. I’d never been THAT far EVER, but somehow I got to their house, I guess cuz I knew ’em, an I was tryin’ to get home.”
Headin’ home, I was rememberin’ her stories an hopin’ maybe I’d get to see her On Screen, in one of her Dad’s films.
Till next time,
Don’t Be Shy
We are always looking for pets with interesting stories. To set up an interview, email
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