As me an my assistant were just turning into the driveway, Bubby Burt was already standing (well, hoppin’) in his front yard, barkety-barkin’ like it was his JOB. Not Grouchy Barkin, tho. It was excited, in-thu-zee-ASTIC barkin’. Anna lady was standin’ nex to him, waving Hello.
We got out an the tidy liddle pooch – a mixture of Chuh-WAA-WAA an Rat Terrier – zipped up for the Wag-an-Sniff.
“Good morning,” I said. “I’m Bonzo, an this is my assistant. You must be Bubby.”
“YES, that’s me. My o-FISH name is Buckeye cuzza Mommy and Daddy comin’ from O-HI-o where there’re trees an football players called Buckeyes, for some reason.
“Anyway, this is MY Mommy, Coco. My Daddy, Fred, is in Heaven. I still miss him. He was my bud. I usta curl up on his lap when he was restin’.
“Anyway, now I am the guardian of the house an the Protector of my Mommy. Come on IN.
Would’ja like a wadder or something?”
“Oh, no thank you, Bubby, we’re good,” I said.
We got all SIT-chew-wated in the comfy livin’ room an I opened my notebook. “I’m lookin’ forward to hearin’ your tail,” I said. “How’d you find your furever family?”
“Well,” he began, curling up on a nearby fluffy dog-bed, “I got dropped off at the Vero Beach Humane Society shelter when I was just a liddle 12-weeks-old pupper. I was a kinda new arrival, an this one day I was snoozin’ in a comfy liddle cage right in the big main room at the shelter.
“Meanwhile, Mommy an Daddy had been lookin’ for a Big Dog cuzz they were dog-free at the time an had always HAD Big Dogs. So they went to the shelter once a week for five weeks, an saw lotsa liddle dogs, but no big ones. THEN, on the sixth week, they walked in the shelter an there I was, sittin’ in my liddle cage, just a tiny liddle fluff ball, the Total Opposite of a big dog. But then, I guess my adorable-ness was over-WELL-ming. Me an Mommy an Daddy played a liddle and they agreed, ‘It’s HIM!’
“Since I couldn’t go home with ’em till I had the No Puppies Procedure, Mommy and Daddy put Dibs on me, an visited me once a week till it was time. I was still a Silly liddle pupper; I hadn’t ever lost my puppy teeth yet. Now, I’m going on 9, an Mommy says I’m the ‘Best Boy in the Whole World.’
“I guess I should admit that, although I’m Well Buh-haved now (mostly), when I was still a puppy, Mommy got a new, Crispy Biscuits pair of leather shoes, with tall heels. Real pretty. Mommy said they were speshull cuz they were the Last High Heels she’d EVER get, cuz she was switchin’ to what human ladies call Sensible Shoes after that. Well, I sorta, well, totally, chewed the heels right off ’em. In my defense, my grown-up teeth were comin’ in. Mommy wasn’t pleased, but it was probly For The Best.”
“Great story, Bubby!” I laughed. “So, tell me about yourself, these days,” I suggested.
“As it turns out,” he continued, “not to brag, but I’m preddy smart. I can figure stuff out. Like, look!”
He ran over to a bright colored sorta bowl, with eight different shape spaces in it, with lids on top of each one, with different ways to open ’em. “Check THIS out!” Bubby said, an carefully maneuvered one of the lids outta the way an there was a TREAT under it.
He munched, swallowed, an said proudly, “This is my second game. It’s Level 2, which means harder than Level 1. Cool Kibbles, right?”
“Fur sure!” I agreed. “So, whaddya you like to eat? I bet you have lotsa pooch pals, human frens too, probly. Watch any TV? Do you get leash walks?”
“Well, Mommy gets one of those whole, cooked chiggens an chops it all up, an it goes on top of my Speshull Kibbles. Duh-lish!
“Oh, Woof, yes! I have lots of pooch pals from the neighborhood; an Dogs For Life; an that big dog park on the river: lemme think, there’s Tilly, Lilly, Sheriff, Toby (he hadda go to Dog Heaven), Magi, Poppy, Gzze, Angel, Zara, anna bunch more!
“Humans, too. In the neighborhood, all us pooches love Uncle Mikey. An he loves us back. He has the Best Treats EVER. On leash walks, all us pooches drag our humans over, an line up in Uncle Mikey’s driveway for treats. Seriously YUM! Mr. Everett’s also pawsome, an he has yummy treats, too. I also hadda a speshel human fren, Miss Cindy. When she got sick, she’d offen sit onna blanket out in the sun, an I’d go sit nex to her, an we’d just share quiet time.”
“I admire your outgoing, frenly doganality, Bubby,” I told him.
“Thanks Bonzo!
“I guess, full disclosure, I should mention that I DON’T LIKE TO GO OUT IN THE RAIN. Even if I haffta Do My Dooty. Plus, I don’t like those P Pads. So, when it rains, Mommy hasta put her raincoat on, carry me outside, an hold onto me till I do my Dooty. Also, I DON’T LIKE TO GO OUT IN THE DARK for any reason. So, when I haffta Do My Dooty before bedtime, Mommy drives me to the park, parks the car, makes sure I Do My Dooty, tidies up then, because I WANNA be home, NOT out in the dark, and I happily walk home with her. Then she walks back to the park an drives the car home. The neighbors think it’s huh-LARRY-us. But every pooch has liddle quirks, right?”
I stifled a laugh, then agreed, “Oh, absolutely, Bubby. Absolutely.”
“Do you like to travel?” I inquired.
“NO! I don’t. I’m mostly OK drivin’ to the vet, but I get a liddle nervous inna car. So, when Mommy hasta go somewhere, for a few days, I go to Miss Joi’s house. She’s pawsome. An I get to play with her pooch, Mia, she’s a liddle white fluffball, even littler than me.
“When Mommy’s gone during the day, she turns the TV on to Channel 843, it’s soft music an NAY-chur sounds an pickshurs! I usually fall asleep watchin’ it.”
The time had totally flown by, an I had laffed through much of it. Headin’ home I was smilin’, thinkin’ how much joy an laff-ter an comfort Bubby has brought to fellow pooches and humans: a little poocheroo with a very big heart.
Till next time,
Don’t Be Shy
We are always looking for pets with interesting stories. To set up an interview, email
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