Bonzo says nimble Neville’s a talented little devil


This week I was gonna innerview two poocheroos from the world of paw-forming arts, Bear an Neville. Their Moms are baaa-LAY dancers, who perform in an Extremely Cool Kibbles Christmas show here in Vero Beach: “Nutcracker on the Indian River.” However, Bear was unable to attend the innerview due to ex-TEN-you-waiting (an huh-LARRY-us) circumstances.

So I innerviewed only Neville Donley, a charming, silvery mini-Schnauzer. Me an my assistant were greeted by a nice lady holding Neville in her arms. Soon as she placed him on the floor, he trotted up for the Wag-an-Sniff.

“Good evening, Mr. Bonzo. Welcome to our home! I’m Neville Donley. This is my Mom, Alyssa.

My Dad, Kile, is elsewhere. SO pleased you were able to schedule us. Well, schedule ME, since, as I explained in my Woofmail, Bear was unexpectedly indisposed.”

“Entirely my pleasure,” I responded, as we shared a small, semi-discreet liddle laugh.

What happened was, Bear, a small snowy white doggo, pulled a trick normally seen in Cats. (No offense, Cats.) He let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to investigate the pizza oven. (It wasn’t hot at the time.) So he stuck his snow white head into it and poked about. And came out looking like a raccoon, Neville said. Unfortunately for the innerview, it didn’t wash off. So that was that.

Neville settled into his Mom’s lap an I opened my notebook. “I’m eager to hear how you found your Furever Famly, an about your fascinatin’ ca-REER.”

“Well, not to brag, but I AM a purebred. I only say that cuz when a poocheroo has, like, Official PAY-pers an all, he usually doesn’t find himself in a shelter. But that’s where I was, at the humane society shelter in Omaha, Nuh-BRASS-kuh. That’s a state, like Florida, but WA-AY up there (he pointed). Then turn left.

“My first famly hadda buncha kids, an didn’t have much time for me, so they brought me to the shelter. It was December 2017 an I was probly about 7-8 months old, still mostly puppy. At the time, my soon-to-be Mom an Dad were planning, um, humans call it a WEDDING, in 5 months, an Mom was dancin’ in ‘The (regular) Nutcracker’ in Omaha.

“Dad grew up with Schnauzers, so, when he heard about me he totally wanted to adopt me. Mom, on the other paw, wasn’t what you’d call thrilled. She was busy dancin’ an plannin’ the wedding.

Thank Lassie, they figured things out.

“At first, I was totally afraid of STAIRS. Specially goin’ DOWN. They were open, an just sorta LOOMED! I always got Wobbly Paws an hadda get carried down. I also don’t like water. Or clothes. Even my harness. I do like chewin’ stuff, like my gingerbread toy, an my fish, an my stuffy flamingo. (I’m on my second flamingo cuz I ripped the first one’s throat out.) An there was this one time, when I felt neglected, I chewed up one of Mom’s Important Pointe Shoe socks. I ackshully ate the Whole Thing. Woof, was I sick.”

“I can only imagine,” I responded, then asked, “What’s a pointe shoe?”

“It’s a speshull, fancy shoe with shiny, colored ribbons an wood in the toe. Mom wears ’em when she dances, Totally Up On Her ackshull TOES! An she doesn’t topple over! She has beautiful fluffy, sparkly costumes and she twirls an leaps. Sometimes a lady dancer like Mom has a partner, so she runs an leaps and he catches her an they swirl around and then POSE. That means, they stop an look like a statue for a couple seconds then they dance some more. An there’s always Big Music.”

“Woof! That’s uh-MAY-zing! Do you dance, too?”

“Do I EVER! Watch!”

With that, Neville, with instructions from his Mom, began to dance! He twirled, he spun, he leaped, he walked about on his back legs. He also rolled over and woofed (but only when his Mom said to).

“I’m So impressed! Have you ever performed onna stage?”

“I was in The Party Scene in ‘The (regular) Nutcracker.’ See, the baa-LAY company was a big supporter of the shelter in Omaha. I met a coupla fellow shelter pooches also doin’ the show: two pugs as I recall. Fun times. So excitin’. An NOW Mom’s a member of the company here, Baa-LAY Vero Beach, an she gets to be the Dew Drop Fairy in Waltz of the Flowers an wear a beautiful sparkly coss-toom. My Very Own Mom! I’m So Proud! An, Bonzo, you wouldn’t buh-LEEVE the funny names dancers hafta learn!”

“Like what?”

“Well, there’s plee-A which is standing and bending your knees. I can’t do it cuzza havin’ too many knees. An air-uh-BESK, where you stick one leg out an your arms out too. Not that either: no arms. Anna cha-SAY, like a kinda jumpy thing, which I can sorta do but I choose not to chuz I look like a Total Doof. A peer-uh-WET, which is twirling on one foot (I’m good at that, but hafta use two feet); anna PAW-did-oo, which is dancing with a partner, which I can do with Mom.”

“Any pooch pals?”

“Lotsa cousins! There’s Honey, a Golden Doodle; Jude (a sorta Doodly dashchundy mixture); Martha, a Yorkie; Carson, a Golden Doodle; and Paul, also a Doodle. We all sorta overlap during the holidays. Since I excel at jumpin’ over stuff, Dad taught Paul to stand still, an taught me to jump over him. Then we both got treats. Me an him also had matching Christmas sweaters one year. He’s in Dog Heaven now. We’ve only been here since August so I haven’t met many fellow pooches. There is a liddle black neighbor dog down the street I hope to meet soon.”

Heading home, I was thinkin’ about Neville livin’ in the exciting world of baa-LAY, an how impressive he was doin’ all those Cool Kibbles moves. An feelin’ grateful the only “leaping” I haffta do is tumblin’ into the pool an getting’ onto an off of my comf-tubble easy chair.

Till next time,

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