Peanut Hall is a Jack Russell, a tidy, smallish gentleman with mostly white body; long slender legs; large, expressive, wing-like tan ears, anna Very, Very Big Flare for Fashion.
Soon as Peanut’s front door opened, a nice lady greeted me an my assistant an invited us in. Peanut was sportin’ an orange polo shirt anna long black an white tie, TRAY stylish, I thought.
“Good morning,” I said. “I’m Bonzo and this is my assistant.”
Without moving, Peanut gave a coupla nicely executed Woofs, then glanced at the lady. Soon as she assured him she an the house were safe, he approached for the Traditional Wag-an-Sniff.
“A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Bonzo,” he said. “I didn’t really think you were Stranger Danger. But, I take my job as O-fish-ul Home Protector very seriously. Don’t let it get around, but, due to events in my past, of which, thank Lassie, I have little recollection, I have No Teeth.”
“I understand, Peanut, an I respect your dedication to your family. You have a very effective Bark! You can call me Bonz.”
“Thanks, Bonz. So, this is my Mommy, Patti. She’s an AR-dist. Her stoo-dee-o’s upstairs. She painted a POR-trait of me! My Daddy Jeff’s an AR-dist, too. He does theater stuff. That’s where he is now.”
We followed Peanut an his Mommy into a Cool Kibbles room filled with energy an color an lotsa Crispy Biscuits art things.
“So,” I began, opening my notebook, “I’m eager to hear the story of your journey to here.”
“It began inna place called Tenna-SEE,” Peanut began. “Mommy (she wasn’t my Mommy then) had lost her buh-loved Chu-waa-waa Shadrach, an it took about a year till she was ready to adopt another boy dog. When she was, in twenny-sixteen, she looked an looked, even put her name in at Russell Rescue, a place that finds homes for Jack Russells an other dogs in Dire Straights. But she couldn’t find The Dog and she got even more sad. Then Mommy’s human son Jason said, ‘MOM! Stop! Quit lookin’! He will find you.’”
“Woof!” I exclaimed, “That was very wise advice!”
“I KNOW, right?” Peanut agreed. “Anyway, guess what? Just a couple weeks later, Mommy got a call from Russell Rescue that they hadda dog she might want to look at: a liddle dog from an abusive home, his name was Dobbie, he was about 3, an he was very shy.”
“It was you, wasn’t it?” I ventured.
“Yep! An I was kinda a mess. Well, Mommy drove to Columbia right away to meet me. When I was brought out, I was scared an trembly. They asked Mom if she still wanted me, an she right away said ‘OF COURSE!’
“So they handed me to Mom an she sat an cuddled me for about an hour, till I finally stopped trem-bling. I ree-lized I wasn’t scared. I ackshully felt comf-tubble an warm. The shelter gave Mommy my liddle kennel to ride to my Furever Home in, but I wouldn’t go in it. I wanted to stay right there with Mommy. So, for that trip, since it was Speshull Circumstances, I got to snuggle right nex to her, as close as I could.
“Jason was right! Now he’s my Furever brother! But, Bonz, I hafta share this. I didn’t say a single word, no barks; no grrrs, no nothing, for years. Mommy an Daddy thought it was cuzza some kind puppyhood TRAW-muh. I’m gonna be 12 in Duh-cember, an I was silent for years, until I was 9. It was one time when me an Mommy were relaxin’ an there was a knock on the door. An I BARKED! It startled both of us. But I had finally Found my VOICE!”
“Woof! Peanut, that musta been a Huge Moment!” I said.
“It totally WAS! Now I’m happy all the time. I love goin’ places with Mommy an Daddy. Not to brag or anything, but I’m kinda well-known. Like in dog-frenly rest-runts: Michael’s on 7th an Nino’s an Baci. We usually sit outside an I offen get liddle SNACKS. I’m very well buh-haved, of course. An lotsa people know me. They’re always sayin’ ‘Hi, Peanut.’
“Probly cuz I never had toys buh-for I got my Furever Famly, now I’m just kind meh about ’em. I don’t really know what to do with ’em.
“Oh, an here’s a Fun Fact: Mommy an Daddy changed my name so I’d associate it with good stuff, instead of maybe havin’ bad thoughts if I heard my original name. She had just started callin’ me Peanut, which I really like. An then, jus for FUN, she made up one of those long names like registered dogs have, so I wouldn’t feel left out: It’s – get this – Sir Peanut Butter Pie, partly cuz it’s Daddy’s favrite dessert.”
“That’s huh-LARRY-us!” I exclaimed.
“Me an Mommy havva morning roo-TEEN,” Peanut continued. “I’m a Schedule Kinda pooch, I’ve ree-lized. Every morning we go out on the padio an she has her COFF-ee. Then she says ‘Where’s Daddy?’ an my ears stand straight up. Then Mommy says ‘Daddy’s coming,’ an I do a buncha barks. Then me an Daddy play Get A Cookie. Then he hasta get ready for work. I wish he didn’t hafta leave. Mommy works here but Daddy hasta go Elsewhere.
“I love leash walks,” he said, inna smooth segue. “When Mommy says we’re goin’ walkin’ I get all excited an go wait by the door. I like fellow dogs now: like my neighbor Lola, she’s a chu-Waa-Waa; an Bells. She kinda plays hard-to-get.
“After dinner, I sit in my colorful chair and we watch TV. Then, when it’s 10 o-clock, I sit an STARE at Mommy an Daddy to remind ’em it’s time for bed.”
“You have such a stylish ensemble,” I observed. “Do you have lotsa clothes?”
“YES, a collection of colorful polo shirts and ties, anna basket of hats an glasses, an several comfy blankets. I love to make a cocoon with ’em.”
“Do you ever travel?” I inquired.
“I LOVE travelin’ with Mommy an Daddy! When Mommy gets my Go Bag out, I get all excited. I love drivin’ AN flyin’. I usually just curl up in my bag an nap.”
Headin’ home, I was thinkin’ about what Jason had told his Mom when she was frustrated in her search for The Dog. “He will find you.” In my years of interviews, I have found that to be true many, many times. I was also thinkin’ about my duh-lishus evening bowl of yoghurt.
Till next time,
