Well, just when I figure I’ve seen pretty much all the amazin’ cool stuff, fellow-pet-wise, I find out I haven’t. This week’s innerview-ee is a really egg-sellent example.
Jerry Biscuits Alexander is a Suger Glider. (I Know. Right?) I definitely had to Google, pre-innerview, an found out Sugar Gliders are originally from Aus-TRAIL-yuh (mostly), in The Wild they live in trees, an they are ackshully teeny liddle flying possums. Yep. Possums. An lemme just say right off the bat, Jerry Biscuits brings a whole new meaning to the word Cute. An the word Liddle. A teacup chihuahua would TOWER over Jerry Biscuits.
Me an my assistant were greeted at the gate by a nice lady snugglin’ a soft-lookin’, blue blanket/pouch, gently pattin’ something inside.
When we got all SITCH-u-waited, the lady folded back the pouch a bit. When a liddle face peeped out, I could see the possum resemblance: longish nose, pointy liddle ears and HUGE black eyes. He had stripey dark an light fur, a loong not-fluffy tail an pink feet with long (relatively speaking) claws. I’m preddy sure he didn’t weigh as much as a tuna sub. (Oops. Don’t tell my gramma an grampa that tuna sub comment, OK?)
Skipping the usual wag-an-sniff but not well-versed in sugar glider etiquette, I remained seated an spoke quietly: “Hello! I’m Bonzo. Thank you so much for agreeing to an innerview. You are my first sugar glider.”
Jerry Biscuits’ voice was very small, soft, an precise, an I’m pretty sure he smiled when he said, “So far, I being most everybody’s first sugar glider,” then added, “I notice you are Dog, an since I am having dog sisters, Emma an Molly, with whom I have bonded, I not be afraid. Should you have been bird or snake, it would be different matter.
“This is my Mom, Sandra, an my Dad, Dan (who I calling GrumpyDad cuz he not cuddly like Mom). My Official Caretaker an BFF being my brother Colin. My other brother is Corey. They now in school. You may call me Biscuits.”
“Thank you, Biscuits! It’s a true pleasure,” I said. “So, what’s it like being a Sugar Glider with a mixed-species famly? Also, do you really GLIDE, like, in the AIR?”
“Firstly,” he said, “I must be informing you of some Sugar Glider basics: I NOT being a ROW-dent, like a squirrel. Why? you be asking. Cuz I am mar-SOUPY-ell. NOT mammal like you an cats an gerbils an squirrels. What is mar-SOUPY-ell? you be asking. After newly born, we live in our mommy’s pouch till we big enough. So we have regular birthday AN a OOP Day. So we getting extra presents!!”
“Presents! Nice! What’s OOP Day?”
“It is meaning Out Of Pouch.”
“Oh, Cool Kibbles!”
“Also, YES, I am wonderful glider, an also eggs-cellent jumping an sailing, up to 150 foots. I would demonstrate but daytime is being mostly my napping time. You see, I am nock-TURN-ull.
I am runnin’ all around my lovely big cage all night, playin’ with my hanging wheel, or knotted string, or other enter-tainmints. There also bein’ a heat stone anna comftubble hammock for snoozin’. Should I be requiring anything or hafta do my dooty, I bark,bark,bark,bark,bark. In that event, Mom is providing handy liddle napkin for sanitary purposes.
“Should I by chance be in a gliding mood during daytime, Mom an Colin an GrumpyDad must being watchful for the reason I might on accident glide somewhere danger-full, like, as example, into the toilet. While I can glide, I cannot swim.”
After fully grasping the probable outcome of that misadventure, I swiftly changed the subject. “I appreciate your adjusting your schedule for me. So, how did you find your Forever Famly?”
“Ah, yes. Way back when I was wee joey, a mere tidbit, several of us were on sale in the Pocket Pets tent at the Pie-Rat Festival an my Future Forever Famly noticed us. Right away Colin an Corey were going ‘Pleeeze, pleeze, pleeze,’ an Mom was going, ‘No, it won’t last an then you’ll be sad.’ But the Pocket Pets Person said, ‘Oh, no, they’re like dogs. They live pretty long.’ An GrumpyDad was going, ‘Seriously?’
“Then they got to hold me (I ackshully be falling asleep on Colin), an my snuggling skills an overwhelming cuteness were being too much for resisting. I got this lovely pouch, in which I riding on many short trips with my famly, an no one even knows I there, cuzza bein’ a literal pocket pet, plus mostly nappin’ in the day. My favrite trips so far being a concert of MEW-zic on the beach; anna place name of Universal. I did all the rides, an ’speshully enjoying Harry Potter.
“When Colin’s home from school, he being my No. 1 Snuggle Buddy. When he reading or texting or watching TV, he often carefully places his foot in my pouch where I’m curled up so I feeling secure. I sometimes be licking his toes just for fun.
“One time I being a Science Project for Corey when he is in Six Grade. It was discovering what kinda foodstuff I am liking. Apples an grapes I am liking MUCH. Strawberries an Bananas, not liking.
“I usually having small slice of apple in my pouch which I munching for hi-DRAY-shun. Or lovely green grape for my Sweet Tooth. I also like cucumbers. An yoghurt. Many sugar gliders eat bugs-an-worms, which real good for us, but making us Very Smelly, so Mom purchasing special Sugar Glider food an putting duh-lishus Glider Gravy on the top for treet. It just as good for me as bugs-an-worms, she makes sure. An no smelly.”
I noticed, as Biscuits told his story, he nibbled time-to-time on a grape his Mom was holding. It lasted the entire time.
Heading home, I was still feeling amazed at tiny, smart, frenly, funny Jerry Biscuits, the charming liddle flying possum who loves grapes an snuggles an Harry Potter. I was also lookin’ forward to my not bugs-an-worms evening yoghurt snack.
Till next time,
