Rider Maniscalco is a GORE-juss Shetland Sheepdog, with a thick silky coat, anna looong regal nose. She’s also a workin’ grrrl with her own business card.
When we pulled up, Rider and two other pooches were in the front yard with their mom and dad, barkin’ hello. One was a smaller Shetland Sheepdog (Sheltie for short, I learned), and the other was a teensy, bouncy Yorkie.
“Welcome Mr. Bonzo and Mr. Bonz’s Assistant,” Rider said, trotting up, her luxurious long coat flowing in the breeze. I felt like should bow or salute or something.
“Yes, um, it’s, um, it’s a Very Great Pleasure also for me,” I stuttered, reminding myself that I was a sophisticated, seasoned reporter.
Following the traditional Wag-and-Sniffs, Rider made introductions. “Everyone, this is Bonzo the Columnist. He’s doing a story on Me. But you all should take part. Mr. Bonzo, this is our Mom, Barbara, an our Dad, Rich. This (she indicated the smaller Sheltie) is our older sister Amber, she’s 13, an our goofy liddle cousin, Carter, he’s 6. Come on in.”
“So happy to meet everyone,” I said, having re-grouped. “Great famly you have!”
We all trouped inside and got settled in the living room. As I opened my notebook, my assistant handed out duh-lishus apple and yoghurt health bars from the depths of The Satchel.
“First, tell me how you found your Furever Famly,” I suggested to Rider.
“Ackshully,” she began, “Amber came first. We were all up in Pencil-VANE-yuh at the time. Mom got the idea for what kinda pooch she wanted from watchin’ ‘Lassie’ on TV, only she wanted a smaller pooch, so our breed, although NOT Collies, was purrfect. She got Amber at 8 weeks old, from a breeder in New Jersey.”
Amber, reclining comf-tubbly nearby, lifted her head an said softly, “I totally love our Mom but otherwise, I am NOT a people sorta pooch. Also, I am quite old and prefer to relax an observe. You understand of course, young man?”
“Of course, Miss Amber,” I responded with respect.
Rider continued. “After a while, Mom decided to get another Sheltie, so she returned to Amber’s breeder. I was 8 weeks old, like she’d been. My papers name is Easy Rider of Swan Hollow, which I think is pretty, but, of course, never ackshully use it.”
“It is pretty,” I agreed. “So, what was it like when you first met your Furever Famly?”
“Well, um, full disclosure, I was what Mom called The Puppy from H.E. Double Hockey Sticks (but she used shorter words).”
“Seriously? Are you woofin’ me?”
“No woof! I chewed everything! Mostly furniture. I was smart, but I considered rules as mere annoyances to be avoided at all costs. I’ve always loved humans and get along very well with them, an they like me back. But I was a total free spirit back then. I’d drive Amber nuts! I wanted to play, play, play All The Time. One time I chewed all the hair on her tail totally off. She was, shall we saw, Majorly Peeved, for quite a while.”
“Woof! What changed?”
“Mom worked in hospittles and hospice places in Pencil-VANE-yuh where she’d observed how much joy dog visitors brought to the patients. She ree-lized that, with my great doganality, I might make a good therapy dog. So, even though I was wild, she enrolled me in an 8-week Alliance of Therapy Dogs course. However, after one week, the teacher told Mom we should quit cuz I didn’t listen, couldn’t do the basic commands, wasn’t focused an was ‘all over the place.’
“But Mom said, ‘NO!’ An we practiced at home. A lot! An I improved. Finally, not only did we make it through, I was named Most Improved, aced the test, an was one of only 4 out of the class of 8 who graduated! I’m also an AKC Canine Good Citizen. Me an Mom’ve been working together since 2016.”
“Woof, Miss Rider! Super Cool Kibbles!!”
“Thanks! We started at the hospittle, then expanded to schools, ’specially exam week, cuzza the extra stress. We also helped the Red Cross with their Blood Drives. We went to West Point when all the cadets were lined up to give blood (which offen makes humans wobbly, with budderfly tummies). I’d go down the line and stop by each cadet, an he or she’d kneel down an pat me, relaxed an smiley, then stand back up straight an serious; then I’d go to the next cadet and on down the line. It made ’em feel much better, not so ner-vuss.
“When we first moved here, everything was closed cuzza that VIE-russ. We’ve been working with Cleveland Clinic and VNA now for about a year-anna-haff, in Hospice House an nursing homes. Lotsa times, I hang out with someone who’s havin’ what’s called an in-FEW-zhun: It takes a long time, an I keep ’em comp-nee. The doctors an nurses love me, an give me lotsa pats. Whenever I’m workin’, I wear my official ID tag, an my Lily Pulitzer green-an-pink collar an leash, PLUS bunny ears, Santa hat, valentine hat, flowery visor or purple mohawk, which I wore for Cancer Survivors Day last Friday.”
“Woof, Miss Rider, that is so impressive. What do you do when you’re off work?”
“Right after work, me an Mom go to Starbucks. She gets one of those funny-name bev-rudges an I get a PupCup. Special free for pooches. It’s duh-LISH!
“Amber’s definitely my BFF! She doesn’t get around very well so she has a special stroller. Me an Carter escort her on our leash walks. Then she’s Queen of the Neighborhood. She’s the best big sister. We also have a new Cock-a-poo neighbor, Coconut; an another neighbor, Kiki, a French bulldog.”
Heading home, I was thinking about how many humans beautiful Miss Easy Rider of Swan Hollow is helping just by her gentle presence. Also, thinking … if I wasn’t a set-in-my-ways happy bachelor … sigh.
Also wondering whether grampa might consider a liddle trip to Starbucks.
Till next time,
