It’s been a minute since I last ventured into the miss-TEARY-us realm of The Cat. Even tho I’ve made frens with quite a few fellow pets of the Fee-line Purrsuasion, I still tend to think of cats as, well, it’s like they KNOW stuff; stuff only Cats know, ya know? Like that way they have of sittin’ up Very Straight and Still, an gazing right into your mind.
But this week I innerviewed the most NOT miss-TEARY-us feline I’ve ever met.
Only 5-anna-haff powns, an super pretty, Miss Lily Smith is a 4-months-old kitten very recently adopted from the VB Humane Society. She’s what’s called a tux-SEE-do: shiny coat, mostly black, white bib, white sox an two liddle white spots where her whiskers are.
Lily’s new Mom, Susan, greeted us at the door an explained that Lily was in Her Room, awaiting our arrival. As she carefully opened this tall, blue, Cool Catnip gate, she explained that Lily has purr-fected the Art of the Zoomy, flying about the house at Warp Speed. Miss Susan added that Lily’s frequent Zoomies startle the Fluff outta the home’s other resident cat, Fiona, who’s Much Older an tends to hide in The Closet. Lily only wants to play, but, so far, Fiona isn’t seein’ it that way.
They HAVE been checkin’ out each other from opposite sides of the slider, which is a Good Sign, Lily later shared.
Miss Susan, me an my assistant slipped stealthily into this very nice sunny room, an Miss Susan secured the gate. Suddenly, WHOOSH! A little black blur zoomed by, skidding to a halt in front of us.
She was like a Puppy inna Cat Suit.
“Hi Mr. Bonzo! This is my playroom! Isn’t it so cool catnip? I even have my own bathroom, with my own potty box! An this is my comfy blanket from the shell-ter!”
The liddle black blur bounced on then off of a very cozy-lookin’ red blanket with white Snoopy designs, then took off again, leaping onto the sill of a large window with a great view: fluffy trees an bushes where I assumed birds, bugs and, probly squirrels hang out, close to the window: Live Cat TV.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Lily! I can’t wait to hear how you an your Mom found each other. Your Playroom is so Cool Catnip,” I added, employing one of the few Cat Terms I know.
As I opened my notebook, Lily jumped down from the windowsill an began sniffing my assistant’s shoes, deftly untying the laces an battin’ ’em around. Of course, my Assistant thought it was huh-LARRY-us, an began rootin’ around in The Satchel for Cat Snacks.
Lily started enthusiastically assisting, climbing onto my Assistant’s shoulders, an then hair, in case a random snack was lurking there. My Assistant was laughing, which didn’t help matters (although, I gotta admit, I was sorta laughin’ also).
Miss Susan innervened and placed Miss Lily on her lap, where the little cat curled up daintily.
“OK Mr. Bonzo, I’m ready to tell you about my life so far, which hasn’t been that long. So, my very first remembering was bein’ alone in this big sorta box thing, which I later learned was a CAR. I don’t know how I got there, an I don’t remember much about my cat famly. Then the Nice Man whose car it was opened the door an found me. Thank Garfield he was a Cat Person. He picked me up real gently, an I rode in the car to his house, an he took Very Good Care of Me.”
I was writin’ as fast as I could, as Lily continued.
“The Man was very kind, but, cuzza his work, he ree-lized he couldn’t be the Best Cat Dad, so, after pondering, he decided to bring me to the, umm, it’s called the Hoo-MANE Society of, um, Vero Beach. Which is where my Furever Mom found me. See, Mom was lookin’ for a kitty who would keep Fiona comp-ny when Mom was workin’.”
“Woof! An here you ARE. You’re a Very Lucky Grrrl!” I exclaimed. “What was it like at first?”
“I just started explorin’ right away. Mom says I’m Inna QUIZ or something. Anyway, when I zipped over to say Hello to Fiona (who kinda reminds me of my kitty Mom), she ran upstairs an hid in the clawset. See, she had had a very hard life before Mom rescued her so she’s Very SHY.
But I know we’ll be FINE pretty soon. Mom calls it bein’ In-tegrated.
“On that first day, I zipped up the stairs right away, but Mom said I Shouldn’t Go Up There. When I accidently DO, she hears my toenails, an says in her Big Voice, ‘Lily! Get Down Here!’ So I DO. One time, I accidently went up stairs an accidently knocked a suitcase all the way down the stairs. It was jus that one time, tho,” She added, quickly changing the subject.
“You wanna see my TOYS?” Lily zoomed across the floor, grabbed a liddle mouse stuffy an bopped it around vigorously for a coupla seconds.
“Wait! You GOTTA see THIS!” She flew over to a box an returned draggin’ a FISH. It totally looked like an ackshull FISH.”
“Yikes!” I said.
“I KNOW! Right? It isn’t real, but watch THIS!”
Lily bopped the fish an it started floppin’! No Woof! I was, like, “WHAT THE WOOF?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I keep wantin’ to, you know, throw it back in a pond or something.”
Just then, there was a knock at the door. It was Mr. Josh, the human who takes the phodo that goes with my story. Lily trotted right up to check out his CAM-ruh, bumpin’ her nose right on that round part in front. He kept backin’ up, an she kept bumpin’. Mr. Josh always gets good phodos, but this time, I’m preddy sure he also has, like, a whole buncha closeup NOSE shots.
“You sure have a LOT of energy,” I observed.
“I KNOW!” she agreed. “But what I love best is snugglin’ on Mom’s lap.”
Headin’ home, I was laughin’ to myself, thinkin’ about sweet, spunky, speedy Miss Lily an the joy she’s already bringin’ to her Furever Mom. An I know she’ll soon be the Best Fren Ever for Miss Fiona. She’s irresistubble, after all.
Till next time,
