The news that Oscar-winning actor Gene Hackman lived for a week with the body of his deceased wife before passing away was a shock to his fans and others. Despite having the means to hire full-time caregivers, Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, chose to live privately, with caregiving responsibilities falling solely on her.
When Arakawa unexpectedly died from hantavirus pulmonary syndrome, Hackman – already battling advanced Alzheimer’s disease and multiple heart conditions – was unable to care for himself. The 95-year-old remained alone in their home, alongside the bodies of his wife and their dog, for seven days before he ultimately died from heart disease.
Hackman’s sad demise highlights a difficult truth: Many caregivers shoulder immense responsibilities alone, sometimes more than they can handle, often to the detriment of their own health.
Happily, help is available here in Indian River County. Senior Resource Association’s Adult Enrichment and Respite program, known as DayAway, is a godsend of a program that offers safe, nurturing care for adults with physical or cognitive challenges who can no longer be left home alone, giving caregivers a much-needed break, according to Annie Mae Stokes, who manages the DayAway program.
Studies have found that caregivers experiencing high levels of strain had a 63 percent greater risk of mortality over a four-year period compared to non-caregivers of the same age. The risk is even higher for spousal caregivers and those caring for individuals with dementia, who often face greater emotional and physical burdens.
Caregivers frequently sacrifice their own well-being in the service of others. That’s why respite care is so essential.
“The textbook definition of respite is short-term, temporary care provided to individuals so caregivers can take a break,” said Stokes. “But I define respite as love extended to caregivers.
They are the quiet heroes who give everything to support someone they love. Respite is a gentle reminder that says, ‘Take a break. Let me handle things for you.’ It’s not just a service – it’s a lifeline.”
Whether it’s a parent caring for an adult child, a spouse supporting a partner, or an adult child caring for an aging parent, caregiving can be an overwhelming, constant weight. Respite care helps carry that weight, giving caregivers the chance to rest, recharge, and return to their role with renewed energy.
DayAway offers structured, engaging care that promotes social inclusion and meaningful interaction through activities such as exercise, dancing, arts and crafts, and music.
Just as importantly, DayAway gives caregivers peace of mind – and the freedom to tend to their own needs, work or other responsibilities.
“We offer members the chance to socialize and enjoy peer support while receiving health and social services in a stimulating, socially rich setting,” Stokes said. “It improves emotional wellbeing and quality of life – for both our members and their caregivers.”
All DayAway staff are licensed LPNs and CNAs, providing professional care that includes medication management, hot lunches and snacks, and assistance with mobility, eating and incontinence care. Staff are specially trained in Alzheimer’s and related memory disorders and create a calm environment tailored to each participant’s needs.
Participants with memory loss receive regular personal assistance, always with dignity and a focus on independence.
“Our members start arriving around 7:30 a.m.,” said Stokes. “We begin the day with a light snack and guided conversation as everyone arrives. Then we move into a variety of social, recreational, therapeutic and health-related activities – everything from music and games to educational programs.”
Thanks to community partnerships, members enjoy activities they might otherwise miss out on due to mobility or cognitive limitations. These include:
- Weekly pet therapy provided by Love of Paws.
- Nutrition education classes from the Treasure Coast Food Bank and Florida Department of Health.
- Art and movement classes led by the Vero Beach Museum of Art and the Vero Beach Art Club.
- Music therapy offered through the Visiting Nurse Association (VNA).
“Many of our members can’t go out in public anymore, so we bring the outside in,” Stokes continued. “It’s about joy, connection and keeping spirits high.”
The program, which has two locations in Indian River County, also reduces feelings of isolation. Members benefit from peer interaction, forming friendships and finding comfort in community.
DayAway is licensed by the Agency for Health Care Administration, meeting strict standards for safety, cleanliness, staff training, and quality of care. Staff-to-member ratios are low – 1 to 6 in Vero Beach and 1 to 5 in Sebastian – allowing for lots of individualized attention.
“Several of our staff members have been here more than 20 years –including me,” said Stokes.
“This isn’t just a job. It’s a calling. We build deep relationships with the individuals and families we serve and take pride in making sure our members feel safe, valued and engaged.”
Some members are dropped off by family, others rely on public transportation.
Community Coach provides pre-arranged transportation to and from DayAway centers for those who meet eligibility requirements. The DayAway team monitors arrivals closely and will immediately contact a caregiver if someone hasn’t shown up as scheduled.
“Many caregivers are overwhelmed,” Stokes said. “But they don’t have to go it alone. DayAway is here to share the load – not take it away. We walk alongside families every day. Let us help carry the weight.”
Respite care through DayAway is flexible – it can be scheduled for just a few hours, a full day, or up to five days a week, depending on a caregiver’s needs.
Supported by generous philanthropy, Senior Resources Association is able to offer the service for just $11 an hour or $60 per day, according to a staff member at the Vero Beach location.
To learn more about the DayAway Respite and Adult Enrichment Program, visit seniorresourceassociation.org. For a private meeting to discuss all the options and a tour of the facilities, call 772- 569-0760.
Photos by Joshua Kodis
