I hope you all had a Totally Cool Kibbles Christmas holiday!! I sure did, although next year I might not dive into the Punkin Spiced Kibbles with the same GUSS-toe as I did this past week.
Anyway, remember last Christmas when I did an innerview with Vikki (short for Vixen) Claus, the first fee-male reindeer (reindoe) to make Santa’s Christmas Eve team? WELL, guess what? She just sent me a Hoofmail to share with all of you!
Vikki’s currently enjoying some R&R in the team barn at the Super Secret Location where we first met and she Hoofmailed about her exciting First Official Christmas Eve Around-the-World Trip.
“Hay there, Bonzo!” she began. “I wish you cudda been with us. It was the most exciting adventure of my entire life. I wanted to say ‘Hay’ when we were at your place Christmas Eve but there wasn’t time: We had to cover about 82 million miles in only 32 hours, considering all the time zones, so it’s a precision, hoofs-on-the-roofs operation with not even a nanosecond to spare.”
I pick-shured Vikki in her festive red harness trimmed with tinkly bells: soft brown an cream hair; long legs, fluff-covered hoofs; big yellow/green eyes; and graceful antlers that curved above her head like a crown.
“It was SO uh-MAZE-ing, Bonzo,” her Hoofmail continued, “but, as you can imagine, I’m pooped an glad to be back in the barn. I just enjoyed a nice warm soak in the lagoon, had my hoofs done, an got a lovely massage. Soon we’ll head out to pasture to get back in shape for next year. But right now I’m snuggled in my cozy red blanket, munching on duh-lishus molasses-and-clover biscuits an hangin’ with Chloe, Gregor an Bob. (You remember the elves, right? The Christmas Eve tech crew? They all say ‘HAY!’)
“We had So Many Adventures during the flight. For example, at a house in Boise, we were pawsing on the rooftop as usual, watching Santa on the monitor, when he radioed that he was stuck in the chimney. Santa always goes onna strict diet after Christmas Eve because of all the milk an cookies he’s required to eat. Then, for the rest of the year, his maintenance Chimney Diet (an the Magical Christmas Eve Jelly Belly supplement) keep him within Chimney Girth Range. But this year, Mrs. Claus’ irresistible Frosted Double Chocolate Chip Macadamia Sugar Cookie recipe blew his diet outta the water, so Chloe, Gregor an Bob hadda employ the Magical Emergency Peppermint Prod to give him a liddle push.
“Then, in Bloomington, Indiana, near the tree, next to the plate of cookies-an-glassa milk, a liddle girl an boy anna fluffy puppy had fallen asleep onna cozy rug. When Santa finished the milk an put the glass back, it clanked, an the liddle girl woke up. Her eyes got big as cookie plates an she smiled at Santa. He gave her a soft liddle doot on the nose and sprinkled a teensy bit of Sleepy Sand on her head so she’d only remember him like a happy Christmas dream.
“Of course, in some locations on the Big Blue Marble (which is what the World looks like from way, high above it), there aren’t any chimneys an only rooftops made of thatch, or maybe none at all, so we hafta paws in fields, or alleys, or wherever we can, an usually do the invisible-to-grown-ups maneuver. Once in Africa, we were pawsing in a huge grassy place called The Serengeti, where the liddle kids learn to herd caddle and there are fuh-ROW-shus lions. There was this growl an I sorta freaked out (cuz us reindeer are in the prey section of the food chain) until I heard Uncle Dash say, ‘Hay there, Nala. How’s it goin’? How are the cubs?’
“Since I was the team newbie, on my very first flight, I guess I shudda expected some razzing from my fellow team members. We were onna tile roof in a liddle village in Lithuania; and the elves had loaded the gigantic toy bag back onto the sleigh, preparing for take-off.
Rudolph gave the command – ‘Hoofs UP’ – an off we flew like the down of a thistle.
“Suddenly, with the lights of Poland far below, Bob hollared, ‘Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! We forgot Santa! We gotta go back!]
‘We CAN’T go back, yelled Rudolph. ‘It’ll throw us into Christmas Day!’
‘But we can’t deliver toys without Santa!’ shouted Donner.
‘It’ll be a global catastrophe!’ screamed Chloe.
‘Wasn’t Vickie s’posed to be the look-out?’ asked Prancer.
‘WHAT? ME? LOOKOUT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?’ I blurted in dismay.
‘The newest team member is ALWAYS the lookout, to make sure Santa’s aboard. Didn’t you get the memo? I’m positive I sent it!’ said Cupid sternly.
‘WHAT MEMO?’ I yelled.
“Well, Bonzo, I was frantic. Was Christmas Eve gonna be a global catastrophe for the first time EVER because of ME?”
“Just when I was about to burst into tears, imagining disappointed liddle humans, an my brand new career circling the drain, the rest of the team, including Chloe, Gregor and Bob, burst into laughter, an familiar Ho-Ho’s rang out from the sleigh’s driver’s seat as a red blanketed figure emerged.
“’SERIOUSLY? A MEMO? REALLY?’ I yelled, trying to decide whether to be miffed or join the merry laughter. I chose the latter.
‘Congrats, liddle sis,’ said Rudolph.
‘You survived the Flying Over Poland test!’ said Comet.
‘“You’re officially a full-fledged Team Member,’ said Santa.
“I hafta go now,” Vikki’s Hoofmail concluded. “It’s time for Santa’s Post-Flight Review. Hope to see you again someday.
“XO, Vikki Claus, Official Christmas Eve Flight Team Crew.”
So, pooch pals, whaddya think? Cool Kibbles, right?
Do you think Santa ever considered a Dog Sled team? Or a Cat Sled? On further consideration, reindeer/reindoes do seem to be the perfect animals for the job.
I wonder if Santa’s Chimney Diet an Magical Christmas Eve Jelly Belly supplement would help, say, a random slightly rotund pooch, a Springer Spaniel, perhaps, lose a few around the middle.
