The holiday season can be a time filled with joy, celebration and togetherness, but it can also evoke feelings of loneliness, stress and sadness, commonly referred to the holiday blues.
Many factors can contribute to these emotions, including family expectations, financial strain, the passage of time and absence of loved ones.
Happily, there are proven strategies and mindset shifts that can help you kick the holiday blues and rediscover the true spirit of the season.
In a recent seminar hosted by the Source in Vero Beach, a panel of health professionals discussed the signs and symptoms of the ‘holiday blues’ and dispersed valuable tips and strategies to manage them.
As is the case with most uncomfortable emotions, the first step to overcoming the holiday blues is acknowledging and accepting your feelings. It’s essential to understand that it’s OK not to be constantly upbeat and merry during this time. The pressure to feel festive can exacerbate negative emotions, so give yourself permission to experience your emotions, whether they are joyous or melancholy.
“Unrealistic expectations for the holidays can cause anxiety,” said Charlotte Shotsi Cain Lajoie, LMHC. “You may be overspending on just the right gift or making too many family and social commitments. Another side of anxiety is loneliness. You may have lost a loved one and you just can’t imagine going through the holidays without them. You are grieving and the holidays just intensify that grief. That’s when it’s important to seek help or reach out to a support group.”
You can reduce anxiety by setting realistic goals. Whether it’s gift giving, decorating, or planning gatherings, remember that the true meaning of the holidays lies in genuine connections and shared moments, not in flawless execution.
If the holidays bring reminders of loss or change, create new traditions that align with your current circumstances. Instead of obsessing about the person that’s missing at Christmas dinner, do something different like going out to dinner, or taking a trip. Incorporating fresh and meaningful activities can help shift your focus and infuse the season with positive energy.
Connecting with others can help overcome loneliness, so reach out to friends, family and others who may be in the same situation as you are. If you don’t have a lot of friends in town, go down to the park, sit on a bench and strike up a conversation with a stranger. That person may be feeling just as isolated as you are and just engaging in friendly conversation can lift your spirits.
Taking care of yourself during the holidays is crucial, especially when dealing with the holiday blues. Make sure to get plenty of rest, maintain a healthy diet, and engage in activities that tend to bring you happiness and relaxation. Incorporate practices such as mindfulness, meditation or yoga to alleviate stress and promote emotional well-being.
With holiday toasts, eggnog and champagne, the season can be especially difficult for individuals with a history of substance abuse, so it’s important to identify some of the triggers that lead to that abuse.
“When the brain wants the substance and it’s learned that the substance makes it happy, it’s going to want it,” said Irene Cauwels, program director at Substance Awareness Center. “The brain doesn’t forget and almost anything can be a trigger. All the emotions, sights, sounds and smells of the holiday season are triggers. It’s important to recognize the triggers and know how to keep yourself safe from them.”
Formulate a plan in advance on how to navigate the triggers. If you are an alcoholic, stay away from the bar during holiday parties. Pour yourself a seltzer and cranberry juice and put a lime on the rim so it looks like a mixed drink. You’re not trying to fool anyone, but it just keeps anyone from questioning why you aren’t drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and if you drink you will only be adding stress.
If you are an overeater, move away from the buffet. It’s easy to snack mindlessly when you are standing next to the goodies, but it takes thought and determination to walk across the room to fill your plate. Above all, learn to say no thank you and walk away. You should never feel pressured into eating or drinking just to be social.
You should even have an escape plan to exit a social situation before a conversation gets heated or things become difficult for you. Know your limitations and don’t be afraid to do what’s right for yourself.
Some seasonal and health factors trigger the holiday blues as well.
“Seasonal affective disorder is a type of depression that is common in the winter when the sunlight is reduced,” Dr. Deepti Harish Sadhwani of Quality and Wellness Health Institute explained.
“Symptoms include irritability, low energy, difficulty sleeping, inability to concentrate, and just feeling sad and hopeless.
A clinical psychologist can use modalities like cognitive behavior therapy that includes talk therapy or light therapy – which involves utilizing a 10,000-watt lux light close to wherever you are. Start by sitting by the light for 10 minutes and increase it to half an hour to an hour maximum. The light increases and regulates your dopamine and your serotonin.
“I also recommend nutritional therapy because if you’re not nutritionally fulfilled you will not produce serotonin, the happy hormone – 85 percent of serotonin is secreted from the gut and the gut sends a message to the brain where the rest of the 15 percent of serotonin is secreted. The brain also secretes the dopamine that helps you stay happy. Staying away from carbs, limiting your alcohol intake and eating a balanced diet will help keep the holiday blues away.”
For many people, small adjustments such as increasing your sleep and increasing your physical activity can help you feel better. Taking a walk in the sun tends to uplift your mood and gives you vitamin D, which is a good antidepressant.
Above all, take time each day to reflect on things you are grateful for. Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can help shift your mindset and create contentment.
“I always tell my patients not to believe everything they think,” said phycologist Dr. Linda Petrilla. “We can control our thoughts and worrying doesn’t add a single minute to your life.
Focus on peace and joy and patience. If you ride emotions, you are on a long ride, but if you redirect your thinking, you can find that hope and peace you want.”
Remember, the holiday blues are temporary and with proactive measures you can navigate the season with resilience and maybe even some joy. By acknowledging your feelings, setting realistic expectations, and fostering connections with others, you can kick the holiday blues and embrace the season with a renewed sense of purpose and happiness. Welcome the holidays as an opportunity for self-reflection, growth, and the creation of meaningful memories.
