This week I had the most excitin’ inter-spee-shes advenchur way out at a Cool Kibbles place called Critter Haven, an animal sank-chew-airy that rescues exotic animals from Dire Straights an provides Furever Homes right there. My innerview-ee was Adam Brady, who has been a Critter Haven resident since around 2005-ish.
Adam’s an Emu (EEE-mew): an Australian bird which is (I hadda Google) the second tallest bird in the world. An they don’t fly.
Him an a human were standin’ inna big paddock under a tree right at the fence as me an my assistant approached. “G’day, mate!” he called. I thought he looked like an ostrich but liddler. I mean, he’s not liddle. Just liddler than an ostrich. He’s 5-feet-6!
I looked up. Way up.
Adam had a small head, speshully compared to his large shaggy body, anna VERY expressive face with a pawsome punk rocker hairdo, wide apart, hypnotic eyes; anna big, serious beak. It looked to me like he could break into a face-splitting smile or stare me into a puddle of jello.
“Um, yes, G’day to you! It’s Adam, I buh-leeve? I’m Bonzo an this is my assistant. I saw you from afar when I was here a few years ago but, at the time, I thought you were an OSS-tritch. It’s a pleasure to meet you in the, um, feathers, as it were.”
Happily, Adam had a Super Crispy Biscuits personality, and he laughed.
“‘In the feathers.’ I like that, Bonz! Yes, Adam it is! This is my mate, Joey. My Dad Gary’s restin’. He’s Dad to all us critters here. No worries, Bonz, lotsa humans make that mistake.
Matter of fact, I wudda pegged YOU for a wolf, straight off. More familiar with them. So, I hear you want to know about my background, such as it is, so get yourself comfy and I’ll tell you the John Dory.”
Relieved, I opened my notebook. Adam sat, an began.
“Altho all us Emus are Australian, I was hatched in 1998 in Florida an hung out with my other hatchlings till I was old enough to go to college.”
“Err, ’scuse me. Did you say COLL-ege?”
“I DID, bucko. A Florida school. I was a major part of their Ag program for several years, lived on the campus till my tenure ended, an I was transported by trailer to here. That was, if memry serves, 2005. I was 7. I’m an old bloke now! Ya better ask your questions while ya can.”
We laughed.
“That musta been some change,” I observed.
“Fair Dinkum! This place is a Bonzer! I never knew there were so many excellent blokes and sheilas in the animal world. But the best thing that happened was Eve, another Emu! It was love at first sight. We had four children, Blanche, Rose, Sofia, an Dorothy.”
“Woof! Four kids! Cool Kibbles! Musta kept Eve busy!” I commented blithely, never having been a daddy myself.
Adam laughed. “Well, Bonz, let me give you a liddle update. In some species, The Dad participates in the child care. Significantly in some cases. Such as with Emus. My dear, sweet Eve laid the eggs. And that was IT for her. Everything else was up to ME, including construction of the nest which, if I do say so myself, and I DO, was hard yakka! After that, I, me, the Dad, laid on that nest for 8 weeks ink-you-bating those eggs the entire time. They were beautiful, very dark blue and very LARGE, an I never left the nest – lost about a third of my body weight in the process. Make no mistake though, it was worth it!”
I opened my mouth to offer apologies and praise, but Adam wasn’t finished.
“… THEN, when the babies hatched, I raised the liddle fluffmuffins until they could make it on their own, about 6 months or so. I know that must seem a little bit unusual, a tad lopsided, if you will, but it has always been the way of the Emu.”
“Well, I am very impressed, Adam,” I replied.
“Anyway, I have a great life here. I’m pretty easy-going, get along with all sorts of blokes: birds, animals, humans, even let some of the humans pet me and scratch my head.
“There was a time, in my youth,” he grinned a wide grin, “when I was drawn to shiny objects, mostly keys. I’ve been known to nab keys right off a visitor. IRRESISTABLE! Once, me an me Dad, Gary, were hangin’ out, an I was kinda, ya know, starin’ at his shiny-rimmed glasses, an then, out of the blue, so to speak, I snatched ’em right off of his face an took off runnin’. Don’t know if I mentioned, but emus can run up to 30 miles per hour. So there I was runnin’ all over the paddock with Gary’s glasses, with him bookin’ after me! A notable event, we all thought. Good times.
“I’ve had lots o’ pals over the years: the pigs Barbie an Sauce; the goats Roger, Hurricane, Scape, Zye, Kate; Mia the rhea (those are birds, in case you’re not a bird bloke); Daisy the mule. I share this paddock with the goats and Daisy, an my very best mates, Dolly an Janet, the llamas. An, of course, we’ve had wolves, an coyotes here; an random birds, raccoons an opossums are always wanderin’ through.”
“What do you, as an emu, like to eat, mostly. An, um, where do you sleep?”
“When I’m ready for some tucker, I’m always hopin’ for dry dog food. An I sleep here in our paddock, right under the stars.”
Heading home, I was thinkin’ how different in almost every way Adam’s life story and experiences are from most anything I’ve ever known or heard about. But, on the other paw, no matter what our species happens to be – yours, mine, Adam’s – lots of the same things make us happy: frens, family, comfy beds, yummy snacks, cool drinks of water, pats on the head.
Till next time,
