One of the Cool Kibble-est events of the Canine High Season is the Sea Oaks Dog Walk, where I get to catch up with pooch pals and make new pooch frens. It’d been goin’ on for 10 (human) years, until that duh-zeese happened an it got CAN-sulled for 2 years, which was Totally Dismal Dog Biscuits.
SO, I was WAY happy when my fren Tess Patota (longtime Dog Walk Spokespooch until her retirement this year) woof-mailed me that it was BACK, an this year was gonna be the first-ever Pawrade of Champions, like an ackshull Dog Show, ’cept with much more appropriate cat-a-gories for not-pro-fesh-unal pooches like most of us are! The pooches an their humans were WAY excited, an 47 pooches signed up, the most EVER!
I’m always impressed with how well-buh-haved this big buncha poocheroos an their humans are. Everybody hangs out for a Meet-an-Greet buh-for the show, so the air’s filled with lotsa of woofin’, of course, but it’s just frenly pooch conversation. PLUS, there’re always yummy snacks for the pooches an their humans. Even POP-corn.
The new Spokespooch was Lady Jandorf, a lifelong Sea Oaks resident considered by all to be the Grande Dame of Sea Oaks Canine Society. She’s 11, an English Golden Retriever with a soft, thick coat in a color called British Cream. Born in on-TERRY-oh (which is in a next-door-neighbor country), Lady has Very Impressive Lineage, so I was a liddle nervous meeting her, felt like I should bow or somethin,’ but she was Super Mellow (the mellowest pupper in her litter, she told me), then pleasantly explained the new event, an innerduced me around.
According to Lady, each pooch an his or her human hadda walk across the tennis court to the judges, one by one, an buh-HAYV! There were 13 CAT-uh-gories (I don’t know why it’s called that, either, except dog-uh-gories sounds sorta weird).
“Meet Oliver Burns,” Lady said.
Arriving with his Mom, the liddle black-an-tan Yorkie looked especially jaunty, with one ear up an the other down.
“Hi, Mr. Bonzo!” the perky liddle doggo said. “I’m a purebred and I was hopin’ to be a Show Dog cuzza bein’ so pawsome, ’cept for my ears, which I personally like: They’re, you know, my SIG-na-chur, but they disqualified me, if you can buh-leeve it.”
“Bummer,” I commiserated. “I think you look outstanding!”
“Speaking of ears,” said Lady, “this young lady, Suki Polke, just won the award for Most Expressive Ears.”
“Congrats, Miss Suki,” I said to the liddle French bulldog.
“It’s my first Dog Show. Isn’t it SO Crispy Biscuits? I’m SO excited!” she exclaimed, bouncing about.
“Oooo, me too!” agreed a handsome Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. “My name’s Augustus Austin.
It’s my first, too. Does my hair look OK?”
It totally did, I told him.
“Bonzo, I’d like you to meet Molly Farhy,” Lady indicated a liddle Maltese who was waggin’ non-stop with great enthusiasm.
A pleasure, Miss Molly,” I said.
“Hi, Mr. Bonzo. Are we gonna be in the PAYper? Isn’t this FUN? All my frens are here, I’m pretty sure. Guess what? I won! Guess which CAT-uh-gory.”
Miss Molly’s joyful, energetic waggin’ bein’ a liddle clue, I took a wild guess. “Best Tail Wagger?”
“YES!! Isn’t that SO Crispy Biscuits?”
“The crispiest!” I agreed.
“Pardon me, Madame Lady, I’d love to meet Mr. Bonzo,” said a deep voice behind me. I turned to see a large (!) impressive German Shepherd peering down at me, an I felt a strong urge to salute.
“Ah, Wolfie, of course,” said Lady, smiling. She turned to me: “Bonzo, meet Wolfgang von Olympia Tweedie, aka Eric the Wolfe. We all call him Wolfie. He’s a dear.”
“Delighted to meet you, umm, Wolfie, is it?” I said.
“But of course,” he said, with a wag of his tail that would have whooshed a passing Maltese right off the sidewalk, had the liddle pooch not ducked in the nick of time. “May I call you Bonz?”
“Absolutely! I saw you out on the court. How’d it go?”
“Actually, I won in my cat-uh-gory: Best Tail Wagger!”
“I expect it wasn’t even close,” I observed. We laughed.
Other pawsome pooch winners were: Loudest bark, Hazel Grant; Shyest, Piper Quinn; Best Leash Walker, Yogibear/Max Wilson; Best Mini Me, Nikki Kendig; Most Congenial, Cosmo Vincent; Shortest Legs, Lucy Finigan; Cutest Puppy, Tank Richter; Best Prancer, Rory Venne; Best Rescue, Skipper Foster; Most Senior Dog, Stella Duff, age 15. All winners got a box of duh-LISH-shus all-natural goodies, donated by Dog Days Homemade Bakery.
Moving through the crowd of happy canines, I recognized a fren, black-an-white Border Collie Julie Teplitz. She’d told me she an her Mom were gonna wear special, super-secret mother-daughter outfits to the event, an they Totally Did! Julie rocked a matching black-an-white houndstooth collar/leash ensemble trimmed in red, and a super cute bow decorated with glittery red hearts, an her Mom was matchin’ with black-an-white check pants. Tray, tray chick!
Lady explained that “proceeds from this year’s bran new event go to H.A.L.O., a no-kill shelter up in Sebastian. AN,” she added with pride, “We raised $1,040! Isn’t that the Coolest Kibbles EVER?”
“Woof, yes!” I exclaimed. “Congrats!”
I hadda brief Woof with H.A.L.O. Spokespooch Remi, a big, playful, long-nosed mixture who himself is hoping for a Furever home, “You know, Bonz, if it weren’t for no-kill shelters like H.A.L.O. and the Humane Society, many, many more Pets Less Fortunate would be in Dire Straits. We are so lucky to have so many humans who care about us.”
I couldn’t put it better myself.
Till next time,
