This week I hadda fun yap with Finnegan Rowe, a hansome, laid-back, 10-year-old Australian Shepherd with a Grrreat Attitude. Me an my assistant met Finnigan an his human at their office, which is called a GALLUH-ree, cuzza having lotsa Cool Kibbles art stuff everywhere, mostly pick-shurs. (My favorites were the cows.)
Anyway, sometimes Finnegan an his rescue brother, Cooper, an rescue sister, Bella, who are also Aussies, take turns hangin’ out there.
He was right at the door to greet us, hurried over for the Wag-an-Sniff, an gave my assistant a buncha frenly nose-bumps. He had a shiny, wavy black-an-white coat an he walked with this pawsome swagger, sorta like that movie person with the big hat who humans call Duke.
“Welcome,” he said. “Sit anywhere you like. This is my mom Lori. We call here Mamadama. Dad’s at home. He’s Gregory. We call him Papadappa.”
“A pleasure,” I replied, thinking perhaps I should ask how many ‘p’s in papadappa. After my fuh-TAH-gruffer got through taking Finnegan’s pick-shur – seated in a Cool Kibbles purple chair – we got situated, I opened my notebook, an Finnigan began his tail.
“I just had my 10th birthday May 5. Can’t buh-leave it’s been that long. When I was just a teeny pupper, up in Ella-NOY, Mamadama’s Aussie Beauregard went to Dog Heaven an she was Lost Without A Dog, so she found me. It was great havin’ a Forever Famly. Then Mamadama decided I should have a pooch pal to play with, so she got Cooper. We’re just a month apart. Well, I wasn’t what you’d call overjoyed an neither was he. But we finally figured out we’d just be fren-emies and give each other space, ya’ know?”
I nodded. You can’t be BFFs with everybuddy.
“Mamadama usta do a lotta dog fostering, which is how we got Bella,” Finnegan continued. “She’s a mini-Aussie an ex-stream-ly adorable and Mamadama couldn’t bear to let her go. So Bella’s a Foster Failure. She’s also a Total Papadappa’s Grrrl. When she was younger, she usta sneak a pair of his jeans from the closet and drag ’em through the house to where she naps, an curl up on ’em to snooze.
“An another time, when we were still puppers an Mamadama and Papadappa were out, me an Cooper found this nice big roll of paper towels an ripped it to Total Shreds. Woof! Was that Fun!
But, when we heard Mamadama an Papadappa at the door, we KNEW we were In For It. So we gave ’em our Best, Most Adorable, Forlorn Puppy Eyes. An it worked! They just laughed at us.”
“Then, when I was 11 months old, my caboose started hurtin’ an I couldn’t get comf-tubble. Mamadama noticed me hoppin’ around, so she took me to The Vet. He took weird pick-shurs that showed my insides an, guess what?? There were BONES in there! I was uh-MAZED. I thought bones were just duh-licious treats, but they’re what keeps us from bein’ all floppy! Did you know that??
“Anyway, the vet told Mamadama I was missing an important round bone I was s’pose to have an that I hadda have a Hip Replacement. I didn’t have any idea what that meant but the next few months were Not Fun At All. When I got done feeling like Poop, I felt Much Better. But then, guess what?”
I was afraid to ask. But I did. “What?”
“The same thing happened to my other side when I was about 2.
So now I have two of those round bones made outta some magic stuff I can’t pruh-nounce. So everything was fine until I was 7 anna haff in human. Then, guess what?”
“Are you Woofin’ me right now?” I asked.
“Nope. One of ’em stopped workin’ an I hadda have the replacement replaced. I was a lot older by then an it was Totally Dismal Dog Biscuits. Mamadama calls me her $34,000 dog.”
“Woof, Finnegan, I gotta take my hat off to you, the way you kept a Totally Crispy Dog Biscuits attitude, even after all that. You are The Dog!”
“Thanks, Bonzo. But lotsa other poocheroos have it way worse. I have a lovin’ Forever Famly and lots of food, an a fluffy bed. Plus, I gotta admit I’m a bit of a Mamadama’s boy, an perhaps the teeeniest bit spoiled.”
“Well, you deserved it,” I exclaimed. “Any other pooch pals?”
“Mostly just us. When Aunt Jackie an Uncle David visit, we have a blast with their pooch crew: Fenway, Mookie an Jellybean, they’re Bee-gulls; an Remy, he’s a pug mixture. They’re all named after humans who like to play Catch as much as us pooches do.”
“So, how’d you all end up here?”
“We move a lot with Papadappa’s job. From Ella-NOY, we moved to Calla-FORN-yuh, then to down here. Cuz we had sold our house, we hadda move down – Mamadama, Papadappa, Cooper, Bella an me – right when that terrible hurry-cane named Laura was goin’ through. It took us 11 days. But us pooches were Very Well Buh-haved the whole time.”
“Since all of you are shepherds, do you ever get the urge to, well, herd sheep?” I wondered.
Finnegan laughed. “We wouldn’t know a sheep if it fell on our heads. We chase lizards an squirrels. Don’t catch ’em, of course. Well, ackshully, one time Cooper accidentally caught a squirrel. He just stood there with his mouth full of fluff like, ‘Now whaddo I do?’
“Mamadama said, ‘Put That Squirrel Down!’ So he peetooied it out. That squirrel was just fine but pretty squeaked off. He shot up a tree, an Cooper was peetooin’ fluff the whole rest of the day. Me an Bella just laughed.”
Heading home, I was thinkin’ about all the scary stuff Finnegan went through, an what a positive attitude he has anyway. That’s why this job is so great: I learn something from every single one of the pets I innerview, an I’m A Better Dog for it.
