First off: a Great Big Paws Up Woof-Out to my pals who stepped in and did the column while I was off. You’re the Bone-Diggity!
I missed a couple of pooch-centric events, but got back in time for the St. Lucie West Dog Halloween Parade. It was Super Fun!
As usual, I came disguised as a Suave, Keen-Eyed News Hound. My contact was a dog with a Totally Cool Kibbles name: Simba Nevola! Simba turned out to be a tidy, medium-sized mix – looked mostly houndy, short tan coat, easy-goin’ kinda poocheroo, but, when we arrived a liddle early, we were greeted by an “alligator” onna leash.
“Um,” I said. I knew he wasn’t an ackshull alligator, but still. Then the alligator trotted up for the wag-an-sniff and said, all cheerful, “YOU must be BON-zo. SO glad you could make it! We’re expectin’ lots more pooches, of course. I’m Simba. This is my Mom, Janice.”
“A pleasure,” I said. “Nice costume. An I love your name.”
“Thanks! Sometimes it’s a challenge to live up to (King of Beast an all) but I like it.”
“So, what’s the drill?” There was a nice clubhouse-y building, a winding sidewalk, handy trees an grass an houses all around.
“We’re pretty casual here. An everybody knows everybody, pooches an humans. There’s more grrrl pooches than guys, which is totally fine by me. An the grrrls ’specially like this event cuz they get to dress up. Us guys, well, we do it mostly cuz we love our Moms an Dads.” He smiled.
“I hear ya,” I agreed.
“Anyway, there are three judges, an only one winner, who gets a nice big goodie bag with all kindsa stuff us dogs like.”
While we were yappin,’ more costumed pooches began to arrive, on leashes with their humans in tow. They were a colorful, enthusiastic bunch, an the Yap Level kept rising. I couldn’t help notice they were all liddle, an I wondered if there was a Size Limit in their neighborhood. Even though Simba wasn’t all THAT big, he pretty much towered over the others. Except me, of course. I felt Very Tall.
“Yoo-hoo, Lexie! Over Heere!” a fluffy white Bishon called to a fren, who was wearin’ froot on her head and a ruffly, crayon-box colored outfit. I joined them, an innerduced myself. The Bishon was wearing a flouncy yellow skirt with black polka dots an liddle yellow wings.
“My name’s Dixie Mae Smith, and this (she nudged the froot-hat) is my BFF Lexie Palmer. So, whaddya think, Mr. Bonzo? Can you guess what we are?”
Dixie Mae’s was easy. “YOU are a bumblebee. You look great. Ackshully (I couldn’t help myself), you’re a Bumblebeeshon.”
They laughed. “OK, now guess who I am,” said the froot-hat.
“Woof. I dunno. A bowl of froot salad?”
“No, silly. I’m CAR-munn Muh-RAND-uh. She was a human dancer an singer in the MOO-vees a long time ago.”
“Well, you both look pawsome!”
I approached a Pomeranian dressed like a UPS delivery human holdin’ a brown package in front, yappin’ with Superman – a dashchund in the red, yellow an blue outfit with a big, curly black wig, which amazingly, was mostly stayin’ put.
“Hi, Mr. Bonzo, said Superman. I’m Opie Penaranda, and this is Slippers Cizynski. She’s tryin’ to figure out who she’s s’pose to deliver her package to.”
“Are YOU expecting a package,” Slippers asked me.
“Er, nope. Not that I know of.”
“Oh, dear. Well, I”ll keep lookin,’” she said, trotting off.
“I’m not sure she’s gets the concept of a costume,” Opie opined.
A trio of grrrls called, “Mr. BON-zooo! Over HERE!”
I flipped a page an hurried over. “Lookin’ good!” I exclaimed.
A perky Maltese/Bishon mix rocked a purple fairy outfit, very femi-nun; a chocolate Cocker Spaniel had transformed into a magical unicorn; and a Yorkie was channelin’ a Ladybug inna red tulle number with black polka dots and liddle wings, reminding me of Dixie Mae’s Bumblebeeshon.
The purple fairy said, “Are you writin’ about us? That’s SO Cool Kibbles! I’m Poppy Palmer, Lexie’s SIS-ter. The Lady Bug is Meadow Moorehouse; an the unicorn is Emma Harty. Isn’t this SO FUN?”
“Totally,” I said. It WAS fun! A total Yapfest.
Just then, the UPS delivery dog hurried up. “Are any of you expecting a package? I don’t know who to deliver it to.”
Nobody was, an off she went.
I trotted over to a Yorkie wearin’ a red, white an blue plaid suit.
“Hello. I’m Bonzo. Cool costume. What is it?”
“Seriously?” said the liddle pooch. “EVERYbody knows ‘Young Sheldon.’ It’s a TV show. We ALL watch it. It’s real funny. Sheldon’s a smart, nerdy liddle human. An he wears, obviously, plaid. I’m Rocky Moorehouse, by the way.”
“Thanks for gettin’ me up to speed, Rocky,” I told him. “An, by the way, you look totally spiffy.”
I was walkin’ up to a ShihTzu inna orange-an-black witch costume with “Wicked Cute” written on it, just as Slippers, the UPS pooch, was walkin’ away, lookin a bit puzzled.
“You’re a good witch, I presume,” I quipped.
“Of course! I’m Mia Anderson. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Bonzo. You’re not expecting a package, by chance?”
“Nope. Maybe somebody should tell Slippers it’s probly just part of her costume.”
“Good idea. I’ll do it,” Mia offered but, just as she was about to look for Slippers, Simba’s Mom announced they had a winner. Everybody gathered around for the Big Reveal.
“An the winner IS … Slippers Cizynski as the UPS delivery human!”
There were yaps of approval as Slippers came forward to receive her goodie bag. Mia leaned close an whispered in Slipper’s ear. Slippers burst into a smile, an Mia an I exchanged a High Paw.
Heading home, I was thinkin’ about all my new frens. An about determined, conscientious liddle Slippers. If she ever wanted an ackshull job, she’d be a terrific UPS Delivery Dog, FOR SURE!
Till next time,
The Bonz
