Bonzo meets Sira, a seriously sweet ‘Schmutt’

Sira [Photo: Kaila Jones]

Sira Macomber has it Goin’ ON! Even though she’s only 4, she’s done a lot, an learned a lot. But she’s no Snobnose. Actually, she’s a Schmutt! (More on that later.)

Sira an her Mom answered our knock. “Good morning,” I said. “You must be Miss Sira.” She was a perky liddle pooch, with wavy silvery hair and an engaging Schnauzer-y face.

With a few welcoming woofs, Sira trotted over for the Wag-an-Sniff, “Yep, that’s ME. This is my Mommy Debora, an my Daddy, Rob. Come in!”

“I hear you’ve done a lot in only 4 years,” I told her, opening my notebook, an turning to a page that wasn’t dog-eared.

“You’re not Woofin.’ I hope you brought extra pen-sills.”

“Always! Ready when you are.”

“Well, I was born in Arkansas. I think my litter was un-ex-PECT-ud, cuz we were a mixture of Schnauzer an ‘a pooch of unknown origin.’ (That’s why Mommy calls me a ‘Schmutt,’ which I ackshully like.) Anyway, I went to a foster home when I was just a liddle pupster. The shelter in charge put my pickshur on Petfinder, an that’s where Mommy an Daddy first saw me.”

“What’s Petfinder?”

“Oh, Mr. Bonzo, Petfinder’s Totally Crispy Dog Biscuits! Shelters all over the place put pickshurs an stuff about their rescues on The Line, so humans can check out all us pooches (an other pets). Well, Mommy an Daddy hadda Springer Spaniel (like YOU are, right?) named Jagger, an they were lookin’ for a fren for him cuz his BFF hadda go to Dog Heaven. They were thinkin’ about a Schnauzer. Even though I’m a Schmutt, an not a total Schnauzer, Mommy an Daddy KNEW I was The Dog. When they picked me, I was 5 months old but, before they could ackshully adopt me, they hadda get Totally Checked Out an I hadda get my PAYpers an shots an stuff. So I was 7 months old when I finally got to go with ’em.”

“Did you get to ride inna plane. Or a car?”

“Nope. See, what Petfinder does is get this Real Big Air-conditioned Truck, special made with cages for BIG Dogs on the bottom, Middle Size Dogs in the middle, an Liddle Dogs on the top. Then they go across the whole country, which is Real Far; pick UP dogs goin’ one way; and drop ’em OFF goin’ the other way.”

“No Woof!”

“I KNOW! Mommy an Daddy lived in Ohio at the time, so they hadda drive all the way to where the truck dropped 12 of us pooches off – inna Wal-Mart parking lot in Hagerstown, Maryland. So Mommy an Daddy (an Jagger) an all the other humans were there waiting for their new pooches. I was Very Nervous cuz I didn’t know what was happenin’ an I was hopin’ it would be something good. Which it WAS. My new famly was Super Nice, but it took me about 3 weeks to figure stuff out, an I was real quiet till I did. Mommy says I’m suh-REE-brull.”

“What’s that?”

“I dunno. I think maybe it means Queen of the House. I still miss Jagger. He was older so he couldn’t play as long as me, but he was a great Big Brother. He loved to swim (being a Spaniel an all) an he taught me. Now I love swimmin,’ too. He also innerduced me to Key Lime, Mommy’s horse. Horses, I found out, are very, very tall, an mostly pretty nice. I loved hangin’ out at the barn.”

What do you do for fun?” I wondered.

“Lotsa leash walks. An Mommy teaches me TRICKS. Wanna see?”


Well, that liddle pooch was uh-MAZ-ing. When her Mom asked, she crossed her paws; covered her eyes; jumped through her Mom’s arms; weaved back an forth between her Mom’s legs. When her Mom said “ACHOO!” Sira sneezed. She hopped around on three paws, twirled on her back feet; walked backwards; an pulled a liddle wagon around by a string in her mouth. Extremely Cool Dog Biscuits!

“I also love travelin,’” she continued. “As a snowbirddog, I’ve been to Florida a lot already. Also Niagara Falls, which is more real loud water than you can even buh-LEEVE. Also Lake Erie, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, an New York.

“PLUS, I’ve taken lotsa classes. I have certificates for jumpin’; trick dog; agility; Canine Good Citizen, of course; and a buncha others. But my most favrite class was training for the Akron Children’s Hos-biddle Doggie Brigade. THAT was the longest, AN the hardest. We hadda get a perfect score on the final test to qualify. (Not all the pooches did.) If we passed, we were OFFICIAL: we got to visit the kids in the hos-piddle an play with ’em, or just hang out an snuggle, which helped ’em cheer up an not be so scared. We even had our own trading cards with our pick-shur, our name, breed, when we joined, an our favrite treat. (Mine’s tuna fish.) The kids loved the cards. I’ll show you!”

She zipped out an returned with her card: it said “Doggie Brigade,” an had her pick-shur on it. Totally Cool Kibbles.

“I’m hopin’ I can do stuff like that here,” she said. “You hafta have a lovely bath an brush your teeth before you visit, which I don’t mind a bit. Good grooming an dental hi-jean are very important, doncha think? I also do that reading program with liddle kids; an visit older humans in nursing homes. Just seeing how happy they are when I come to see ’em makes me happy, too, you know?”

“Woof, Miss Sira, that is very important work. You must be so proud. It takes a special pooch to do that.”

Well, thank you, Mr. Bonzo,” she smiled.

Heading home, I was thinking about all the lives Sira has already touched with her loving personality. I was also planning to check out the pantry in case there was an extra can of tuna fish.

Till next time,

The Bonz

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