This week I had a fun yap with a Snowdog, a purebred, long-haired mini-dachshund from Pennsylvania: Waldi Von Trendelenburg Boettjer. I KNOW! Thank Lassie, the first thing he said when we met was, “Hi, Mr. Bonzo! I’m just plain Waldi! I can’t even spell my Official Name. Ackshully, I can’t spell at all. Anyway, I’m named after the first official Oh-LIM-pick mascot, Waldi, a dachshund of course, from the 1972 Summer Oh-LIM-picks in Germany, which is a totally nother country. This is my Mom, Maryanne. My Dad’s inside. He’s Siegfried.”
I was glad I’d brought extra pens. “Pleased to meet you, Waldi,” I said. Waldi’s a handsome little poocheroo, almost 2, tons of energy an not a snooty bone in his tidy little body, even though he’s a purebred. (Most PB’s are totally Cool Kibbles, right? but some of ’em get a ’TUDE, like they’re All That and a Bagga Pupperoni.
“So, Waldi, tell me how you found your Forever Family.”
“Mom and Dad are Doxie People. Their last one was 16 when he went to Dog Heaven. When they felt Up To It, they decided to get another Doxie. There were four in my litter. I was the teeniest, looked like a furry pool ball. And I had those big puppy eyes no human can resist. They picked me cuz I was so little, and timid and quiet, which is kind funny cuz now I’m a big boy, 18 whole pounds, and not all that quiet. But they still love me to pieces!”
While we were yapping, Waldi was chewing on a big piece of something, looked sorta like a bone, but flat. It was as big as him. I asked about it.
“Oh, this. It’s my cow ear. Lasts forEVer. I gotta pig ear, too. Wanna try one?”
“Um. Thanks, but I better not while I’m working,” I told him. “Whaddya do for fun?”
“I know I look like a Dachshund, Mr. Bonzo, but in my heart, I’m a Labrador. I LOVE the water. ANY water. An SWIMMIN’! I could lie around by the ocean all day, in that soap-sudsy part that keeps going away and coming back. After swimmin’, I roll in the grass. Mom and Dad say I look like an Otter when I’m wet.
“Up home, me an Mom an Dad spend lotsa time on our sailboat in Chesapeake Bay. There’s nothin’ like that free, Nose-to-the-Wind feeling. Sometimes I jump in. Of course, I have my life jacket on. We live on the boat, and kayak, an play ball. I’m a great ball catcher.
“I also enjoy Stick Fetch, the first part, anyway, where I run and grab the stick. The other part, bringin’ it back, not so much. But my FAV-rit sport is Soccer. At the dog park, I’d rather practice with my soccer ball than play with the other dogs. I’m self-taught. I can bend ’em like Beckham! I’ve been workin’ on my Step-Over. Watch, I’ll show you.”
And off he zoomed, his Mom right behind him, and me and my assistant following her, out to a big grassy, bowl-shaped area. Waldi’s Mom had a green, dachshund-sized soccer ball that made funny noises. She tossed it, he caught up to it, and Dog! It was like that ball was Velcroed to Waldi’s nose. At top speed, he zigged, he zagged, he bobbed, he weaved, kept that soggy ball moving and never lost contact ’cept when he nose-bumped it, then shot off again in hot pursuit. Every so often the ball’d make a noise. Waldi’d stop, bark at it, chew some grass, then off he’d go again. It was somethin’ to see!
“Waldi, that was aMAYzing!” I exclaimed.
“Thanks,” he said. “One time I was playin’ soccer, an the ball went down a drainpipe. I went in after it and Mom had to drag me out by the tail. That’s why us dachshunds have long tails, cuz dachshunds usta be Badger Hounds. So when we chased badgers down their holes, our owners hadda drag us out by our handy tails. I’m awful glad we aren’t in the Badger Biz anymore. Ukk.
“I’m also doin’ Uh-JILL-uh-tee training. That’s super fun! But I don’t always just play. Once, when Mom’s friend’s daughter was in the HOS-pittle, I got Special Permission to snuggle with her, to help her feel much better. The doctor said I’d be a wonderful therapy pooch, so Mom and Dad enrolled me in Comfort Caring Canine Therapy classes. I’m a NATCH-rull. Now I even assist the class trainers up in P.A. Down here I visit lotsa human friends at Harbor Chase Senior Living. Only 20 more visits, and I’ll earn my AKC Therapy Dog certificate. I believe I have something important to contribute. I don’t wanna brag, but I also earned my Advanced Good Citizen Certificate. An that’s not so easy to get, ya know.”
I nodded.
“But it’s worth it. Cuz I’m so well-behaved, Mom and Dad take me to dinner at Osceola Bistro. It’s way Cool Kibbles, an pooch-frenly. So’s the outdoor market over on the beach. There’s a lady who makes duh-licious dog treats, ’specially blueberry bisicuits.”
“Any pooch pals? Favorite toys?”
“At the dog park, me an Maddie dig together. In the neighborhood, theres Belle. Also Justin. He’s a Human. He takes care of our whole neighborhood. My toys are Foxie, Allie Gator and Bunny 2. I ’specially love Bunny 2. Bunny 1 isn’t with us anymore. He hadda have lotsa surgery. His appendages kept falling off. Cuzza chewing, I guess. When I was a pupster, I had this Chewing Issue. Furniture, mostly. Mom put 2×4’s under the couch so I couldn’t chew the stuffin’s out, but I made toothpicks outta ’em. Now I’m much better … ’cept for the Bunnys.”
Heading home, I was thinking about how, even though Waldi’s a total athlete, he’s also caring and kind. He knows when to be all Super Soccer Pooch and when to be just snuggly Waldi. You gotta admire that.
Till next time,
The Bonz
