Hi pet buddies! This week I yapped with a breed of pooch I’d never met before – a Rat Terrier. With a name like that, you’d think it’d be a rough, tough sort of pupperoonie, but no-oo. Fancy Pants Connelly is a dainty girl, short brown hair, white tuxedo, and a pretty, slender nose. But boy, can that pooch woof, when called upon.
Fancy Pants is her Mom’s watchdog and also the Official Greeter and Lap Jumper for her clients. She’s an Image Consultant. I didn’t have a clue what that even meant but, as I walked to the door, I figured I’d find out pretty soon.
There was LOTS of barking from inside. The door opened and Fancy Pants zipped over for a wag-and-sniff. “I knew it was you. I can always tell whether it’s one of Mom’s ladies. C’mon in. This is my Mom, Ann. I’m Fancy Pants, but you can call me Fancy.”
We got settled on the screen porch and I got my notebook out. “I have to tell you, Fancy, I’ve never met a Rat Terrier or an Image Consultant. What do you girls actually do?”
She smiled a totally cute smile. “First off, I am an all-American dog, and, even though my ancestors came from Europe and were great at hunting yucky rats and other vermin, I, personally, have never looked a rat in the whiskers and never plan to. Even though I‘m a really good watch dog, I’m still a Lady. Just so you know.”
“I can see that!” I said earnestly.
“Mom is sort of like a groomer for human ladies. And I assist by jumping onto their laps. But only if they want me to. Most all of ‘em do. I’m just the right size. Mom got me from a breeder in Satellite Beach when I was a pupster. She took me to the Humane Society to learn basic behavior. I sit, stay and walk properly on my leash – nothing show-offy. And I have a special ID chip in case Mom gets lost.”
What do you do when you’re not working?” I inquired.
“I love to travel! When Mom goes to Palm Beach, I get to see my human niece and nephew, Delilah and Quinn, and my buddy Goldie – she’s a Golden Retriever. And when we go out to California, I get to play with my human sister Pamela and my Yorkie buddies Cosmo and Martini. We sometimes drive places, but we mostly fly. I love to fly. Mom gives me a special pill first, so I’m all snoozy. I have this little red carrier, and I sit in it and my head pokes out the top. I’m comfy and safe but I can see everything. I get tucked under the seat for take-off, and then I sit on Mom’s lap if the other passengers are OK with it. Which they always are ‘cuz I’m so cute and well-behaved.“
“Wow. How come the airplane people let you do that?” I asked.
“I’m Mom’s Therapy Dog. We’re totally Besties. She sometimes gets stressed out and I am trained to help her feel much better. I guess I was sort of prescribed for her. I have a special vest and papers.
“I’m low-maintenance, too. Just some light brushing, and the occasional bath. Then I sit out here on my chaise, in my favorite patch of sunlight, and air dry. I eat plain old Kibbles, nice and crunchy. No people food at all – and NO BEGGING. It isn’t appropriate for a lady like me. I do get treats, though. When we go for a walk and I Do My Duty, I get a Greenie or a piece of sweet potato.”
“Any other dog buddies?”
“Actually, Bonzo, I had this Traumatic Experience. When Mom was walking me on my leash, I was attacked by a neighborhood dog. He grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. I thought I was a goner for sure. I had to go to the hospital for surgery. If I hadn’t been wearing my special leather service vest, I would have been toast. So I mostly don’t hang out with other dogs. I mean, I do woof politely when I pass pooches on their leashes out walking in the neighborhood, but that’s about it.”
“Wow! Scary! So whaddya do for fun?”
“I’m very good at jumping straight up really high from a dead stop. That’s pretty fun. It always impresses humans. And … I love to chase bunnies,” she said, her ears at full mast.
“Really? Little, fluffy bunnies?” It didn’t seem ladylike to me.
“Actually, they’re outside the screen and I’m in here. They hop by and I run back and forth, barking like crazy. It’s a trip!”
“But what if you ever actually catch one?”
“CATCH one? Are you woofin? I LIKE little fluffy bunnies. I would never hurt a hair on their little fluffy heads!”
“You had me going there for a minute,” I admitted.
“Mom has a friend who is a Rat Terrier Expert and he says I have beautiful conformation. That means I look really good. See?” She struck a pose and she did look pretty darn classy.
“He says I could be show dog if I wanted to. But I don’t want to. I like it just fine right here. But, sometimes, when I’m dozing on my chaise, I daydream about being in the ring at Westminster, the crowd cheering me on. The judge comes up to me and announces Best of Show – Fancy Pants Connelly!” She had a faraway look in her eyes.
It was time to head back. “It was great yapping with you, Fancy! Pleasant daydreams!”
