This week I interviewed another tall, leggy poocheroo who’s still a pupster. He doesn’t LOOK like a puppy, but he ACTS like it. He’s very slurpy an frenly, with a short wavy orange roan coat, long orange ears, fluffy wiffles and beard, an bangs that almost cover his hazel-colored, people-lookin’ eyes.
His name’s Peroni, an he’s a new-to-me breed – a Spuh-NO-nay Ee-tal-ee-AH-no. (Just between you an me, I’d heard the name before, but I always thought it was ice cream. Embarrassing.)
Peroni trotted right up for the Wag-and Sniff. “Oh, Mr. Bonzo, I’m so glad you could come. We hadda pos-pone cuzza the hurry-cane. But now I’m all spiffed up and ready. I’m Peroni Boone an these are my humans: The Lady Who Feeds Me, she’s Beverly. I just call her The Lady. An The Man, he’s Dan’l.”
“I’m pleased to meet you all,” I said, opening my notebook an making a mental note to get a slurp-proof cover for it. “I’m ready to hear your story.”
“Me an my litter (I have three sisters an four brothers) were born in a kennel in Bushnell on Valentine’s Day. The Lady an The Man had a Brittany Spaniel named Scout, who’d just left for Dog Heaven, an they wanted to fill The Void, but not with another Brittany, cuz it’d make ’em too sad. So they went on the Merrycan Kennel Club website lookin’ for similar dogs an found Spuh-NO-nay Ee-tal-ee-AH-nos. We’re whatcha call a Sporting Breed (I’m not zackly sure what that means), but The Man an the Lady thought that kinda pooch’d be easier to train. I don’t think they’ve decided whether that’s true, just yet, cuzza my bein’ a puppy still.”
“Since you’re from an Official Breeder, do you have one of those long kennel names nobody ever uses?”
“Yes! It’s Briar’s Creek Valentine Peroni! For the name of the kennel, and cuzza my birthday bein’ on Valentine’s Day. And the Peroni is for an Italian beer humans really like.”
“That is Totally Cool Kibbles! You look like you have lotsa energy,” I observed.
“Woof, yes! I get three walks every day, an go to the dog park. An me an my Bestie, Ginger, play a lot. (She’s a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever. Don’t ask me what that means. Ginger doesn’t even know.) One time she snuck out and ran off. Her Mom spent hours chasin’ her all over the place an hollerin’, but Ginger thought she was playin.’ Finally her Mom got Totally Pooped Out and was scared Ginger’d run smack into a truck or fall in a hole or get pounced on by a Big Scary Monster. So I convinced The Lady to let me go get her. I found her an explained that she could get in Big Trouble, so she followed me right back home. Anyway, she’s away on a trip right now, which is Soggy Dog Biscuits. I hope she comes home soon. I think she should have a special collar like mine, which has a Super Secret AKC tracking device so our humans can always find us.
“Oh, an I like goin’ out in our pontoon boat. I don’t like swimmin’, but I sometimes sit in my baby pool and blow bubbles. I also enjoy chasin’ squirrels an birds. ’Cept this one bird. It’s real big an loud, and it flies real low. So I stand like a statute and stare right at it with my Serious Face, so it won’t swoop down an grab me. I scare it away every time. The Man an The Lady call it a Mosquito Control Plane, which is a silly name for a bird, doncha think?”
“Woof!” was all I could manage. “Do you do any tricks?”
“Not really. But I do bring The Man his paper every morning, that’s sorta a trick, I guess. We sit together while he reads an drinks his coffee. Whenever he puts milk in his coffee, he gives me some milk, too, which I Totally Love! I also know how to ring the special doorbell when I hafta go out and Do My Doodie. PLUS, I helped The Man and The Lady pile up a buncha big palm tree thingys after the hurry-cane. There were, like, zillions of ’em.”
Peroni bounded over to his big napmat and started tossing it around and chewing the corners. “The Lady says this napmat has a lifetime guarantee: it’s s’pose to be munch-proof but …” He grasped the corner and shook it enthusiastically. “Corners are The Best!” he said. “’Specially when The Man an The Lady are away, an I’m in the laundry room with my food an water an toys. There’s just nothin’ like a nice, chewy corner. Really makes the time go by. You wanna share?”
“Thanks, but no,” I said. “I’d better just keep takin’ notes.”
He then grabbed a big blue-and-white striped canvas bag and tossed it in the air, dumping the contents onto the floor. “These’re my TOYS! See? An alligator, ana boomerang, ana fox, ana squeaky seahorse, an my favorite, a nice, soft towel from the breeder, which us puppies snuggled on. It smells like all my brothers and sisters.”
“Awww, that is so sweet,” I said.
I was smilin’ all the way home, thinkin’ of Peroni fearlessly standing up to the Mosquito Control plane, and fallin’ asleep snuggled up in the special towel that smells like his brothers and sisters.
Till next time,
The Bonz
