Miss Louisa Michaels is a calm, low key, muh-CHUR an very charming lady of the fee-line purrsuation. Just from meeting her, I wudda NEVER guessed what she had gone through buhfore finding her Furever Home. Bein’ a puhlite an ree-SPECK-ful kinda pooch, I would never ask, but I expect she’d used up at least a few of her allotted 9 lives prior to arrivin’ at where she is now. She had quite a tail to tell.
A nice lady, Lauren, greeted me an my assistant at the driveway, an innerduced us to another nice lady, Jen, inside. After we’d gotten all situated, I spotted – reclining gracefully under a chair across from me – a medium-size fluffball with long thick black, orange, brown an gold fur, big white paws, an very impressive an ex-ZAH-tick gold eyebrows. Her o-FISH-ull breed is a Long Haired Tortie (short for Tortoise Shell, which is short for the same sorta pattern an color as those big hansome turtle-ish creechurs).
“Good morning, Mr. Bonzo. Such a pleasure to meet you!”
“Likewise, to be sure, Miss Louisa,” I replied.
My assistant had retrieved a couple of Cat Snacks from The Satchel an Miss Louisa glided out from under the chair an gracefully approached to inspect, an then munch them.
“Why, thank you,” she said softly. “They are duh-lightful: Crunchy, without those annoying, soggy middles. These are my Moms: Mom Number ONE, Jen; an FOOD Mom, Lauren.”
“’Scuse me?” I blurted.
“Oh, they’re fine with it. You see, I snuggle an hang out an watch Squirrel TV with Mom Number ONE. However, when it’s Meal Time, it’s All About FOOD Mom. It seems to work out well for All Concerned.”
“Got it!” I said, speedily making notes. “I understand you had a scary time buhfore you found your Furever Famly.”
“To say the least,” Miss Louisa replied. “It was in 2011. Me an my cat BFF Franklin were livin’ with a family in Upstate New York, inna real pretty place with LOTS of TREES an hills an stuff called, if you can buh-leave it – the CAT-skills. Then this big buncha of rain an wind – called Trop-piggull Storm Irene – hit, an flooded our house, an our humans gotta outta there, an left us.”
“OH, NO!” I gasped.
“We figured we were goners. We were wet an chilly. PLUS, I was PREG-nut! We were ready to kiss what was left of our 9 lives goodbye when this Very Kind Man, Mr. Clint, found us. (I call him Uncle Clint now.) Anyway, he scooped us up an took us to the woodshed an built a roarin’ fire to warm us up an made a safe comfy place for me to have my 4 babies. He took Such Good Care of us, an even kept one of my babies an found good Furever Homes for the others.”
I was writing as fast as I could.
Miss Louisa continued. “Mr. Clint is what’s called a Handyman, which means he can do Pretty Much Everything. He was (still is) Offishul Handyman for our Moms.
“So, meanwhile, our ‘Future’ Moms were livin’ on the Upper East Side in Man-HAT-ten an Mr. Clint wondered if they’d maybe like to adopt us. They kinda didn’t at first but then they came an saw us an, Thank Garfield! they changed their minds. So, we became Cosmopolitan Upper East Side New York apartment Cats.”
“Woof! What a great tail: scary, but GREAT! So, how’d you get your names?”
“Well, Food Mom named me for her favrite author, Louisa May Alcott. (May’s my middle name.) An Mom No. 1 named Franklin for Benjamin Franklin. Franklin hadda go to Cat Heaven several years ago. Even though he was kinda mean to me sometimes, I still kinda miss him. But, full disclosure,” she smiled a wide smile, “I AM the Princess here.”
“I understand, for sure,” I replied, then. “How’d you get down here to Florida?”
“So, my Moms had something called a ‘CON-do on the beach’ down here so we came down just when that bad duh-ZEES started. Plus, No. 1 Mom’s Dad lives down here.”
As she continued her tail, Miss Louisa had poked her nose under a cushion to retrieve a stuffy yellow banana, which she snuggled as she spoke. I had never seen a cat with a banana an it made me smile.
“This is my Comfort Banana,” she explained. Shortly, No. 1 Mom fetched another stuffy, a green pickle, with word stitches that said “I Am A Big Dill!” Definitely a first for me.
“Your life seems very, errr, Cool Catnip these days,” I commented, employing one of the several Feline Frazes I’ve picked up along the way. “Do you have any favrite foodstuffs. How do you spend your days?”
“Oh, yes! TRAY Cool Catnip! I absolutely a-DOOR Chinese Spare Ribs. An chicken from Sam’s. But only the first day. It can’t be cold. I do love crunchy treats, which I was duh-lighted to find your assistant had brought.
“Although I Don’t Like Getting WET, I do enjoy lounging by the pool.”
“I noticed a lizard on your porch screen a couple minutes ago,” I noted. “An I must say I was suh-prised you didn’t go leapin’ after it as I have noticed other cats, an lotsa dogs also, do.”
“Oh, puh-leeze, Mr. Bonzo: I like to think of myself as WAY too refined for that. I mean, runnin’ around like a doof, bouncin’ off the screen, after a silly little lizard, who’s just tryin’ to get from one side to the other, just isn’t – you know – seemly.”
She crossed her front paws delicately.
“Point taken,” I said with admiration. “So, where do you sleep?”
“Mostly all over the place. I do enjoy my speshul leopard-print towel. However, I NEVER, EVER nap ANYWHERE in the kitchen OR the dining room. THOSE are Totally Off-Limits, an I respect that.”
“Any pet frens?”
“I don’t get out to socialize, purr say, but, when my Moms have to go somewhere, I hang out with my Cat Sitter Miss Jane’s cat, Honey. We sit outside and chat.”
Headin’ home, I was thinkin’ how intrestin’ Miss Louisa’s tail was, an how very fortunate she an Franklin were to have found such caring humans just when they needed them most.
Till next time,
Don’t Be Shy
We are always looking for pets with interesting stories. To set up an interview, email [email protected].
