This week I innerviewed Rebel an Acadia Lozen, a coupla super spiffy Labrador Re-TREE-vers who – I Woof you Not – give New Meaning to the words EE-ger! In-thoozzy-ASS-tick! an Inner-JET-ick! An wet.
Me an my assistant were greeted with great joy by Rebel an Acadia. (Rebel’s a Chock-let Lab; Acadia’s a Yellow.) Rebel wore a nifty red collar an was onna leesh, pullin’ a frenly man. Both pooches bounded up for the Wag-n’-Sniff an I innerduced myself an my assistant.
“WELCOME!” said Rebel. “I’m Rebel Lozen an THIS is my big sister Acadia. An THIS is our Dad, Steve. Our Mom, Kristin, an our kitty brothers Jimmy an Johnny, are currently ELSEwhere. We are SO ex-cited that we’re gonna be in the PAY-per with our PICK-shurs! Come’on out to our pool padio so we can show you our Fav-rite Thing in the Entire World. Come ON!!!”
An off they zoomed, their Dad in tow.
We followed, an my assistant rooted around in The Satchel for a couple Labrador-sized bacon snacks, with a pair of Labrador noses also rooting around helpfully.
Snacks dispatched, I opened my notebook. “I’d love to hear how you found your Furever Family.”
“I’ll begin,” announced Acadia. “I’m 8. So, you see, Mom an Dad have ALWAYS HAD Labs, mostly all from a Wonderful Lab Breeder up inna state called New England, which is a Very Big Place way colder than here, with lotsa colored leeves an a buncha of states in it. Have you heard of it?”
“Um, no, I don’t think so. It sounds super nice,” I replied.
“Totally. Well, anyway, see, Mom an Dad are Snow Birds. They go back-an-forth buh-tween here an another state in New England called Mayne. An us pooches are Snowbirddogs.
“So, the three Labs they had buhfore me were all named SAM. They got me as a teensy pupper when the last Sam was gettin’ up there. (They named me after a big, pretty park in Mayne.)
Anyway, Sam was, like, the Best Big Brother Ever. We loved the cold weather up there. We’d just run and run all over the woods, and go hikin’ an swimmin’ all the time. (Us Labs are wader dogs, ya’know, same as you SPAN-yulls.) When Sam hadda go to Dog Heaven, I really missed him. I was 4 at the time.
“Anyway, Mom an Dad decided to get another Lab, so I’d have a fren to play with.”
“OK. My turn to tell the story,” Rebel innerjected, an began his tail.
“Mom an Dad went to the breeder in Mass-uh-CHEW-sutts cuz, not to brag, but all us puppers are TOP NOTCH. But NOT Silly SnobNoses. They had retired the name ‘Sam,’ an I had come with the name Rebel which, they quickly REE-lized was the perfect name for me, I think, cuz, ever since I was a Bran New pupper, I had a Vast Amount of Energy. Perhaps you noticed.” (I had.) “Plus, I was, well, pretty much still am, a Free Spirit. I’m always happy an havin FUN flyin’ around, doin’ my Thing. Dad says I’m listenin’ to my Own Drummer. Ya’ know?”
“Absolutely!” I replied.
“But, Mr. Bonzo, I just Totally loved Acadia from the first minute we met, when I was an 8-week-old fluffball. I still mostly always wannabe wherever she is. An NOW we wanna show you one of our Totally Most Favrite Things To Do In The ENTIRE WORLD! Ready?”
“Yup!!”
Their Dad had unhooked Rebel’s leash, and now produced an obviously well-loved green tennis ball which he flung into the pool. Well, Both pooches went from Motionless to Fly in, like, a nano second. They sailed into the pool, holdin’ their heads gracefully outta the water in that Cool Kibbles way Labs have.
Meanwhile, Rebel had grabbed the ball, while Acadia climbed up into the circular spa an splashed about. Rebel jumped outta the pool an brought the sodden ball back to their Dad, then zipped up to me an my assistant to perform several delightful, flawlessly executed Soakin’ Wet Shake-Offs, the water droplets glittering like diamonds as they flew through the air. To me, they felt cool an duh-lishus, an I’m pretty sure my assistant thought so, too. I wish I could have joined them in the pool, but I was On The Job.
Acadia an Rebel chased each other around the pool deck, circling the pool inna chocolate-an-white blur, occasionally changing direction. A red tennis ball was brought into play and the fly, jump, splash, zoom, retreeve, shake was repeated.
Back on land, Rebel an Acadia’s Dad provided vigorous dry-offs with a big, fluffy, blue-an-white-striped towel, an I took the opportunity to ask about other aspects of their obviously terrific life.
“We love travellin’ in our car up to Maine an back,” Acadia shared. “Here, we love goin’ to Walton Rocks Beech, playin’ in the O-shun. It’s Off-Leesh, which is fun. Rebel hangs out with all the other dogs. He’s frens with, like, everybody. Then, Dad gives us lovely baths at the beach’s hose and shower. That’s called an uh-MENNA-tee.”
“Here, we go for leash runs with Dad every day,” said Rebel. “I’m kinda a Daddy’s boy, ackshully.”
“An I’m a Momma’s Girl cuz we’re more gentle,” added Acadia. “Also, I have this liddle Quirk: I always haff to have a tennis ball or something in my mouth, like, most of the time. I have a very soft mouth so I usually don’t, like, dissTROY it. It’s my Security Ball.”
“We both Totally Love white rice,” segued Rebel. “An Dad says we’re better than uh-LARM clocks when it comes to our breakfast, which HAS to be at 6:30 a.m. I’m pretty sure it’s a ROOL. Same with dinner. 4 p.m. or ELSE.”
Headin’ home, I was thinkin how maybe I should get out an exercise more, like Rebel an Acadia.
You know: swimmin’, runnin’, hikin’, stuff like that, to keep in shape. OR, maybe I’d just enjoy my evening dish of duh-lishus yoghurt and snuggle in my fave chair. Jumpin up into my chair must take at LEAST 200 calories, right?
Till next time,
