The non-Dog fellow pets I’m most fuh-miliar with are CATS. Over the years, I have come to respect and uh-PREE-she-ate, if not totally understand, cats, an, even though I still regard them as miss-TEARY-us, I’m not afraid like I usta be, that they’re gonna turn me into a TOAD or a Ball of String.
Anyway, this week I innerviewed a hansome young fellow – Charlemagne Schenkel (aka Charlie) – who kinda recently found his Furever Famly and is still settlin’ in. (An still a liddle shy.)
A lady anna familiar gray-an-white cat met me an my assistant at the door. I recognized him right away as Beauregard (Bo), a cat pal from wa-ay back.
After a quick, obligatory Sniff-an-Size Up, he came right over. “Hey, there, Bonz, great seeing you again. It’s been a minute. You remember my Mom, Mary, right?”
“Of course! Great to see you both again. Lookin’ good, Bo! So, you’re a big brother now, hey?”
“Fur sure,” he replied. “Charlie’s a good kid, probly about one-anna-haff in human, an still, you know, figurin’ stuff out. Hey, Charlie,” he called. “Everything’s Cool Catnip. Bonzo’s a PAL. Come’on out.”
Turning, I spotted this round gold face, with big, round golden eyes peepin’ out from buh-hind a chair.
“But Bo,” Charlie remained buh-hind the chair. “He’s NOT a CAT. He’s a DOG! Are you sure he’s OK?”
“Abso-woofin’-lutely, Charlie! Jus like I told you. He’s a total fren! No worries.”
Slowly, Charlie appeared in toto, an scooted over to his brother. He was a good lookin’ fellow, a gold tabby, short hair, long body, an REALLY long, impressive tail (like he’d gone through the Tail Line twice).
“Good morning, Charlie,” I said in my softest talkin’-to-a-cat voice. “I am very happy to meet you.”
“Good morning, Mr. Bonzo,” he replied. “You’re my First Dog fren. You don’t look THAT scary. But still …”
“I completely understand, Charlie. I have several good cat frens, an I totally respect (an would NEVER chase) cats. No worries.”
“K,” said Charlie, remaining mostly buh-hind his Big Brother. “Bo sez you’re gonna write my story. That’s pretty Cool Catnip.”
“That’s correct,” I said. “You’ll tell me all about you, an I’ll write it down in this very notebook, whenever you’re ready.”
“An I’ll stay right here with you,” added Bo.
Charlie crept out, sat right next to Bo, an began his tail. “Bo ’splained to me how him an Mom found me. His cat sister Clementine had gotten Up There, an, a liddle bit buh-for last Christmas, she finished the last of her nine lives. Bo an Mom were Very Sad. After a liddle while, Mom started thinkin’ about maybe gettin’ a Dog instead of a cat, for Bo. But she had pose-PONED the decision cuz it was the crazy busy Christmas Season.
“Then, one day, Mom stopped by Petsmart to pick up some Kitty Lidder. WELL, it just happened to be the day they were cleanin’ all the cages, an cats were runnin’ all over the place. There were usually always cats there for adoption from a rescue place called Dogs an Cats Furever (I think it was). Anyway, Mom thought maybe she’d hang around for a liddle while, just to, you know, BROWS. An guess what? One of those cats was ME. (See, me an two other cats had been brought to Dogs an Cats Furever cuz our owner lady unexpectedly hadda go to Heaven.)”
“Oh, Woof! Charlie! It was Meant To Be,” I exclaimed.
“I KNOW, right?” he said. “Mom spotted me, but I was kinda a mess: real skinny, plus I had this SKIN Issue. I jus couldn’t stop lickin’ an lickin’ cuz it was makin’ me Totally Catnip NUTS!
“I couldn’t buh-leev that Mom (of course, she wasn’t my Mom yet) was even IN-trested in me. But she WAS! I guess she just KNEW. Bo says that happens a lot with humans an puh-TEN-shull pets: cats AN dogs.
“Anyway, she came back the next day to officially adopt me, an right away took me to the Vet. I got a shot called, ummm, DEE-po I think, which really helped my SKIN Issue, Thank Garfield!”
“How’d you an your new Big Brother hit it off?” I wondered.
“I ran right up to him an snuggled. I felt all happy an safe! I guess I sorta suh-prised him cuz, at first, he was like ‘Who in the fluff are YOU?’ but not for long. He’s the Best Big Brother EVER!”
Bo laughed. “I WAS a liddle suh-prized to have this skinny liddle gold stranger with those huge gold eyes an Really Looong Tail, zip over an jump right on me. But I’m a pretty mellow sorta guy, so I was like ‘Whatever.’ An he’s a PAWsome, Goofy Liddle Bro! We roughhouse a lot, an cuddle up to sleep. He doesn’t Meow either. He just licks a LOT.”
“Mom has this Really Big Chair called a Dubble ree-CLINER, where we all ruh-LAX together an watch TV. Sometimes I doze off,” said Charlie. “I love bein’ snuggly; an also scoochin’ under the bed covers. All you can see is a Big Bump. Mom took a pickchur. It’s kinda huh-LARRY-us.”
“You look great, by the way,” I remarked. “Not skinny at all.”
“Cuz I LOVE Kibbles. I gained 3 pounds in 2 months! Me an Bo spend a lotta time hangin’ out on the screen porch. An, I’m a Very Fuh-RO-shus Hunter! Of lizards! If they ever get on the porch, they’re TOAST!” He added proudly. “Bo handles any random snakes.”
I chose not to pursue that, an asked instead, “You also have a very impressive name. How’d you get that?”
“The name I came with was Lucky, which was sorta meh. So Mom decided Charlemagne was Way Better, as cool as Bo’s is.”
Headin’ home, I was thinkin’ about how happy my old fren Beauregard is with his eager, snuggly, liddle brother. An picksurin’ Charlie cleverly concealed as a Big Bump under the fluffy covers.
