Blanche Hammer is a Really Cute, Very, Very Bouncy Mini Poo, with short Super Curly hair the color of an APPER-cot. She came zoomin’ up to me an my assistant, an didn’t stop bouncin’ long enough for the Wag-an-Sniff.
“Hi! Hi! Hello! Come IN! Sit over THERE. I just hadda sham-POO. Aren’t I nice an FLUFFY? I wanted to look My Best for the pickshur!”
“Miss Blanche, I presume,” I got in, edgewise. “A pleasure.”
“Yep. It’s ME, Blanche. I’m s’pose to innerduce my much older sister, Fancy. She’s 98 in Human.”
Blanche nodded to a liddle gold-an-white terrier with short hair, sittin’ onna chair. She flashed a small smile.
“Delighted, Miss Fancy,” I nodded.
“An THIS my Mom’s mom, Glammy Lora. I’m stayin’ with her an Fancy cuz my ackshull Mom, Doctor Patricia, is stationed in Turkey, which is really far away. An, buh-leeve it or not, they don’t allow dogs on The Base. (That’s where she works.) I think it’s cuz they’re afraid we’d scare the turkeys.”
“So, your Mom’s in the Service. That’s Cool Kibbles!”
“I KNOW! Right? Mom’s in the Air Force, that’s planes an stuff. She’s a flite ser-juhn. She makes her fellow humans all better.”
“Woof, I bet you’ve had lotsa adventures!”
“I have! Like, I was born in Japan. Mom was stationed onna base there when she ’dopted me as a pupper. When I was about a year, she got stationed in a big sparkly place called Las VAY-gus. There were more colored lights all over the place than you’ve EVER SEEN! WAY exciting! The Base wasn’t like that, tho. The humans were Much More Serious.
“Anyway, pretty soon Mom got her next duty. (In the Air Force, jobs are called Duty, but it’s way different than yours an my Duty. Also, WE only hafta go out in the yard, but MOM had to go to Turkey.) That’s when Glammy Lora said I could stay here.”
“Crispy Biscuits, Miss Blanche!” I exclaimed. “You’re, like, a Pooch-of-the-World. I bet you got to fly, right?”
“Oh, sure. It’s no biggie. I travel on military planes. Easy peasy. Plus, I’ve met so many different kinds of humans an fellow puppers in my world travels, I pretty much get along with everybody. I guess I AM a Pooch-of-the-World.”
“How was it when you first came here?”
“It was just this May. I was a little depressed at first, missin’ my Mom, but now I’m havin’ fun. An I know Mom’ll be back, an we’ll go off to other bases an more Cool Kibbles ad-VEN-churs. I’d already met Glammy Lora when she visited us in Vegas. Not Fancy, though at first, Fancy was a liddle, ummm, grumpy. No offense, Fancy.”
Fancy perked up her sailboat ears. “I was. It’s true. I hadn’t been well, I was all creaky. Could hardly walk. But the funny thing was, this ram-BUNK-shus liddle muffin kept bouncin’, and jumpin’ and tryin’ to get me to play an, finally, I started gettin’ up an movin’ more (a liddle more) on my own. An now I feel much better. Still slow, but I’m havin’ ackshull FUN. An, when Blanche gets a liddle too bouncy for me, I just go to my Room (it’s a cozy liddle kennel.).
Flippin’ another page in my notebook, I asked, “What’s your day like?”
“I’m really bouncy, an curious, you might’ve noticed,” Blanche said.
Since she’d just been nosing around in The Satchel (an had discovered the treats therein, and received one from my assistant — Fancy got one, too, of course), I HAD noticed that she was both bouncy an curious.
“I can DANCE,” Blanche announced, and popped up onto her back legs, then began twirling around an around, an NOT falling on her kazoo like I’m positive I would have under similar circumstances. “See, I’m a bal-uh-REE-na,” she said.
“Pawsome!” I exclaimed.
“We have lotsa stuffies in that big basket,” She pointed. “Mostly I just like to push the basket around. I’ve haven’t really met other pooches, so far. It’s just me an Fancy, mostly. Glammy Lora takes us on Leash Walks. Well, I walk onna leash.”
Fancy innerjected. “I’m too wobbly for leash walks, so Glammy Lora carries me in a comfy little thingy she calls a Papoose. I can see stuff, an I don’t get all pooped out.”
“Yeah, I’ve been tryin’ to get Glammy Lora to let me ride in it but I’m too Wiggly,” Blanche admitted.
“WAAY too wiggly,” Fancy agreed.
“We both love ridin’ in the car,” Blanche continued. “We get all strapped in for SAFETY. We ride down to Palm Beach a lot when Glammy Lora goes there for BIZZ-ness.
“When she hasta travel an we can’t go, we stay with Ant Anita. She doesn’t have a dog so she loves to spoil us. An we love it too, of course.”
“What do you ladies like to eat?”
“Glammy Lora cooks us duh-li-shus sammun with rice, or chiggen with rice an peas, mixed with kibbles,” said Blanche. “We get all natch-rull treats. We ’specially like the really smelly ones, which I think Glammy Lora wishes we didn’t.”
“You both are so well groomed,” I observed. “Who’s your stylist?”
“Ackshully, Glammy Lora is. She’s a pruh-FESH-unnal. That’s why we look so beautiful. An we smell good, too. Also,” Blanche added, “Glammy Lora brushes my teeth every night, just like Mom does. See?” She broke into a Very Wide Smile. Sure enough, she did have very sparkly, white teeth.
“I buh-leeve in good oral hi-jean,” Blanche stated solemnly.
Heading home, I was wonderin’ what it’d be like being a Pooch-of-the-World. Never knowin’ where I’d hang my hat next. Ad-ven-churs around every corner. Truth is, the farthest I’ve ever traveled was to here from my breeder in Jupiter when I was a pupper. Anyway, thinkin’ about my Cozy Easy Chair an my evening dish of yoghurt, I reelize I’m totally happy where I am.
Till next time,
