This week was a Fun-Filled First for me. A liddle confusing initially, but TRAY fun!
Why?
Cuz I got to innerview Not ONE, Not TWO, Not THREE, but FOUR beautiful basset hounds: Roz, Ava, Skylar and Olivia James: Roz an Olivia are black an white; Ava an Skylar are brown and white.
Soon as me an my assistant walked through the door, we were engulfed in a sea of happy, woofy, slurpy, basset hound-centric welcome.
They all had looong, forlorn-looking-but-they-aren’t-ackshully-forlorn faces; long, velvety ears; an eyes that also look sad but aren’t. They were built very low: tummies almost but not quite touching the ground; very short legs; an very large, impressive paws. And they all had Cool Kibbles little sprinkles of freckles, mostly on their muzzles.
A nice lady sorta herded all of us into the living room, where we got SIT-chew-waited, prudently dispensing with the usual Wag-an-Sniff.
“Welcome to our abode! We’re so happy to meet you, Mr. Bonzo,” said one of the brown-an-white pooches. “I’m Ava, this is my daughter, Olivia, an this is our Mom Delta (she indicated a lady already seated inna chair). She’s an AWE-thur. She writes what’s called ro-MAN-tick sus-PENTS books an we’re all named after her book heroines. This is our Other Mom Chris, she’s a nurse, and” (she nodded to the black-an-white pooches) “these grrrls are Roz an Skylar.”
“A great pleasure to meet you all,” I replied. “I know you have fascinating tails to tell.”
“I shall begin because I’m the oldest. I’m 8,” announced Roz.
“Sheesh!” (Ava rolled her eyes.) “She’s only 3 months older than me.”
Ignoring Ava, Roz continued. “Not to brag, but I am a Show Dog, an I NEVER bark. I huff-rooo!
Mom Delta’s had basset hounds for 50 years: I myself am the great-grand dog of Goodie, who was still around when I came along. Goodie was very lovable. I’m afraid I didn’t inherit that trait, except when I’m in the show ring. I always want to win, so I flirt with the judges.”
“Here she goes,” Ava muttered to the other two, an all three rolled their eyes.
Ignoring the trio, Roz continued, “Ackshully, I earned the (VERY prestigious) American Kennel Club All Breed Grand Champion title when I was only 10 months old! It usually takes a coupla years.”
She pawsed for effect.
“Woof! Miss Roz, that’s Huge!” I gushed.
“I,” Ava innerjected, “am from FIN-land.”
“Well, THAT’s Crispy Biscuits,” I replied, reminding myself to Google FIN-land when I got back to the office.
“Totally!” she agreed. “See, Mom Delta was look for a show dog, so she made some connections and saw my pick-shur anna video. Anyway, I flew to the U.S. an Mom picked me up in Baltimore.
As it happened, me an Roz had the same handler, who only spoke Finnish, so Roz didn’t havva CLOO what to do, until I graciously interpreted for her, an we got along great.”
“Way Cool Kibbles,” I exclaimed, quickly flippin’ to a new page. “So, Miss Skylar, what’s your story?”
“Well, see, me an Olivia are haff-sisters cuz we have the same Dog Dad. I’m 6, an Livvie’s 5-anna-haff. Anyway, I guess I’m jus sorta naturally smart about a lotta things, an I try to show my fellow dogs an sometimes humans how to do stuff, or find stuff, or use stuff. Like how to properly use the Dog Door: ‘You just PUSH it! See?’ THAT kinda stuff, you know? I’m also the O-fish-ull Famly Watch Dog. After I make sure everybody else is safely IN, I patrol the perimeter. You can’t be too careful. I like to think I’m HELP-full.”
“That is TOTALLY help-full, Miss Skylar! An admirable trait, indeed,” I told her.
“OOH, Sky,” Olivia said. “Tell Mr, Bonzo about you an your ears an that big hill.”
“Ears? Big hill?” I asked.
“Oh, right. It WAS pretty funny,” Skylar said. “So, when us basset hounds are liddle puppers, our ears grow faster than the rest of us. They’re so long and floppy, we hafta learn how to handle ’em and we tend to fall over in heaps a lot till we grow into ’em.
“Anyway, this one time, up in Virginia, when I was just puppyin’ around at the top of this Very Steep Hill, I tripped over my ears an went tumblin’ caboose-over-teakettle all the way down the hill. WELL, Mom Delta thought I had killed myself. I was ackshully totally OK an, in fact, I kept doin’ it cuz it was Way Fun!”
I laughed out loud, pic-shuring liddle Skylar happily tumblin’ down that hill.
‘Hey, Sky,” Olivia said again, “what about the Great Toilet Paper Caper?”
I was almost, but not quite, afraid to ask. “Um, what ABOUT the Great Toilet Paper Caper?”
“You see, Mr. Bonzo,” Skylar began, “I consider myself a decorator of sorts. I like to create ART, inside or out. See, there was this big grassy field near our place in Virginia. So I had this Pawsome Concept. I knew where all our rolls of toilet paper were hidden so I got them. All of them. An I tore them all into tiny liddle pieces and arranged them artistically all over the field. It was SO Beautiful! A Major Work! I don’t think any of us will EVER forget it!”
“Oh. Wow. I expect not,” I sorta gasped. Then I turned to Olivia.
“So, Miss Olivia, what’s your tail?”
“Me? Well, um, I’m 5-anna-haff now. Back when Mom Delta was breedin’ basset hounds, I was one of the last of the puppies. I ackshully got sold to somebody someplace far away called Washington State. But 2 years later, Mom Delta discovered I wasn’t getting the proper CARE.
She was gonna have me flown back but then that COVID thing happened, an dogs weren’t allowed to fly. So I got driven back inna VAN.”
“Oh, Woof, Miss Olivia, you were So lucky!” I exclaimed.
“Abso-woofin’-lootly,” Olivia agreed. “You see, Mr. Bonzo, our Mom, like all proper dog breeders, feels re-SPON-subble for ALL their dogs for their entire lives, wherever they are, an they will ALWAYS take them back if need BE. It’s part of the agree-mutt.”
Heading home, I was sorta wishing I had about twice as much space as usual to fit in all the basset ladies’ pawsome tails. An reminding myself to Google Finland.
Till next time,
Don’t Be Shy
We are always looking for pets with interesting stories. To set up an interview, email
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