Even tho Charlie Dane is gonna be 10 preddy soon (on Christmuss DAY, ackshully), he still seemed a lot like a pupper as he trotted to the door with his Dad, rockin’ a black-an-purple bandanna, Very Dog-of-the-World, ya know?
Charlie’s some kinda lab mixture, about my size, with brown eyes, a great smile, a Cool Kibbles black-with-white coat, freckles on his nose, POKE-uh dots on his tail, an nice big paws.
But what really stood out were his EARS. It was like they hadda mind of their OWN. They were shaped like liddle sails, an one stood UP, an the other flopped OVER. TRAY stylish.
“Good MORN-ing, Mr. Bonzo!” he said, zippin’ right up for the Wag-an-Sniff. DO come on IN!
I’m Charlie an this is my Daddy, Sean. We’re BFFs! My Mom’s Brittany. She’s workin’.”
“A pleasure,” I replied as we all got seated, an my assistant began fiddlin’ around in The Satchel for the Snacks Bag. When the duhlishus smell of Bacon snacks began floatin’ around, Charlie stuck his nose into the Satchel, helpfully nudging the Snacks Bag, all the while waggin’ an lookin’ eagerly at my assistant. En-thuzzy-astic munching ensued.
“I understand you’re a shelter rescue,” I said, leafin’ to a fresh page.
“It’s troo,” Charlie said, sittin’ nex to my assistant in case, I figured, a random snack presented itself. “See, back in twenny-sixteen, I was an 8-weeks-old pupper, jus changin’ over from Mommy Milk to Other Stuff, an me an my litter-mates had found ourselves in this un-fuh-Mill-yer place with cages anna buncha other poochos, wondrin’ where our Mommy was.
“Meanwhile, back then, (my future) Daddy had been feelin’ Very Gloomy an tryin’ to Figure Stuff Out, an he was by himself in the house, so he decided to get a dog for a come-PAN-yun. However, guess what? You won’t buh-LEEVE this.”
He pawsed.
“Um, What?” I inquired.
“Dad had ack-shuilly NEVER had a dog. I mean NEVER!”
“Woof! That’s uh-MAZE-zing!” I replied.
“I KNOW, right? Anyway, he was thinkin’, maybe, a liddle dox-hund. He’d spotted one there at the shelter PREE-vee-us-ly. So, anyway, Daddy was sittin’ cross-leggedy on the ground in the Shelter Meet-an-Greet yard, an the shelter person was bringin’ out pooches for him to check-out.
Preddy soon, it was MY turn. Well, the SECOND they set me down an my paws touched the grass, and I spotted Daddy, I KNEW. I ran over to him, jumped into his lap, an curled up! An we’ve been together ever since. First thing Daddy did was change my name. For some reason, it HAD been Smurf, but, I mean, Seriously?”
“Woof, Charlie, that is SUCH a WONDERFUL story!” I exclaimed. “So, tell me what life’s been like.”
“PAWsome! I’m King of the House! Ackshully, at first, as a tiny pupper, I enjoyed doin’ what’s called CHEWING STUFF. I was great at it, too! I chewed (well, Daddy says destroyed) ALL the baseboards. Anna coffee table. An probly more. Daddy said, WHATDIDYOUDOOO? But he was VERY Patient an taught me what to not do, an other stuff.
“I have lotsa TOYS. Mom got me a stuffy hippo an I have several rubber pigs …”
“Say what?” I blurted. (Rubber pigs had not PREE-vee-ously been on my RADAR.)
“Yep, See?” Charlie zipped off an returned with a rubber pig, which he proceeded to squish, whereupon the pig, well, snorted.
“That’s some rubber pig you have there,” I noted.
“I also like Fetch, both parts. Sometimes I bring the ball part way back, then drop it. But if Mom or Daddy turn to go away, I quickly grab it an bring it all the way back. An I DO enjoy the challenge of disengaging the squeaker AN the stuffin’ from the stuffy, an then, I harmoniously arrange the stuffin’ on the floor. Like fang-SCHWAY.”
“Sounds Cool Kibbles to me!” I told him, makin’ a mental note to Google fang-SCHWAY. “So, do you travel? Any speshull human or pet pals?
“I go lotsa places with Mom an Daddy, real pretty places like Tennuh-SEE, North Care-uh-LINE-uh an GEORGE-uh. We usually HIKE. (That’s a lot like walkin’ but more Serious, an usually Longer.) If I get POOPED, Daddy carries me. I can do 2 miles OK, but Daddy an Mom do, like, a zillion.
“I like swimmin’, but mostly the beach cuz you can GRAD-jully walk in. But not the pool so much, cuz you jus sorta plop right under.
“I’ve been onna pon-TOON boat also! It was Totally Crispy Biscuits: the wind frifflin’ my ears!! the intrestin’ SMELLS! We went to a sandbar EYE-lun an I played in the wadder an saw uh-MAZE-zing animals called DOLL-fins, an also fish that jumped. It was PAW-some!
“Anyway, lemme see … my BFF is Kihya, she’s a terrier. There’s also Barry, Chloe an Trixie!” He leaned in an whispered, “Trixie’s my grrrlfren!”
I nodded. “My lips are sealed.”
“My hoomans are Gramma Linda (she stays with me when Mom an Daddy are Elsewhere), and Grampa Jim, an also Gramma Cheri an Grampa Dave.
“Sometimes I freak out cuzza storms,” Charlie commented. “Do you?”
“Not so much anymore,” I replied. “I usta, tho.”
“Daddy got me what’s called a Thunder Shirt,” he continued. “It’s black and TEEL an it fits sorta like a hug. It helps. I also get what Daddy calls Sep-uh-RAY-shun ank-ZY-itty. I just wanna be with Daddy an Mom all the time, ya know?”
“Totally,” I said. “Absolutely.”
“I’m glad you understand,” he smiled. “I also sleep with Daddy an Mom. I have beds all over the place an my CRATE for security. I love my crate, but I prefer burrowin’ under the covers with Daddy an Mom.”
I coulda listened to charmin’ Charlie all day. Headin’ home, I was smilin’ to myself, picksurin’ liddle puppy Charlie joyfully decimating the baseboards, and removin’ the squeakers from his stuffies, then artfully rearrangin’ the piles of fluff to create positive energy. (I Googled.)
