This week’s innerview-eee is a shiny, creamy tan colored, perfectly charming small-ish poocheroo, with a narrow black stripe down her entire tail, an brown eyes with x-ZAH-tick black ‘eye-liner,’ an sticky-uppy ears that sometimes flop over – Stella Fesenmaier. (For some reason, I have the urge to write it “STELL-AHHH!” Not sure why. I think it’s a human thing.)
Anyway, Stella greeted me an my assistant at the door, with lotsa welcoming woofs an happy sneezes, which were totally adore-ubble.
“Hel-LOW! Come IN! I’m Stella. This is my Mom an BFF Katie! Mom sometimes calls me Peanut.”
“A Troo Pleasure to meet you both,” I replied, introducing my assistant, who was already rootin’ around in The Satchel for Treats.
We got all comfy in the living room, where Stella snuggled in next to my assistant (an the Treats). “Me an Mom are house-sittin’ for Nana an Papa! Would you like a Wadder?” she asked puhlitely.
“Thank you, I’m good for now,” I replied. “I understand you’re quite a well-travelled Snowbirddog, Miss Stella,” I said. “I’m eager to hear your Tail.”
“I HAVE been lotsa places, it’s troo,” she agreed. “In fact, me an Mom first met inna place called Sandy-A-go, Cally-FORN-yuh, which is Wa-ay far THAT way. (She pointed). There’s a O-shun, like this one but bigger, called The Puh-SIFF-ick.”
I picked up my pen.
“So, anyway,” she began, “it was Joon twenny-twenny, back when we first had that Big Duh-zeez, CO-vid, an Mom was lookin’ for a dog for CUMP-nee. She checked on Facebook an found a pickshur of ME. I was only one-anna-haff at the time, an my owner got sick an couldn’t keep me, so Mom went to see me In The Fur. WELL, right when I saw her I jus ran right up an licked her hand! I mean, there she WAS, my Furever Mom, right in front of me! So, not to brag, but (I think cuz our pooch Mama was part Chi-waa-waa) I was pretty small, an me an my sisters were all Super Cute back then …”
(“Still are,” I thought to myself.)
“So, anyway, Mom took me home for a TEST Visit an, only one or two days later, when she checked in with my first owner, she had already re-named me. (My original name was Sheila.)
And we were pretty much already BFFs. So that was that!
“I’d already had all my shots an the No Puppies Pruh-seed-jure, but I hadn’t really learned about stuff like Leash Walks. I’d pretty much just run FREE, so, at first, when Mom put the leash on my collar, I was like What the Fluff is THIS? an just ran buh-TWEEN Mom’s legs an got all tangled UP.
“Fortunately, I’m pretty smart, AN Treat-Motivated, so I learned proper pooch buh-HAY-vure fast.
“Then, that same August, me an Mom drove to New Jersey, an I discovered I love ridin’ in the CAR. I’m pretty chill, sleep mostly. We also drove to TEX-us an also to HERE.”
“Woof, you sure ARE well-travelled, Miss Stella. So, what kinda stuff do you like to DO? Got any pooch or human pals?”
“Well, in New Jersey I got to run all over where there’s lotsa farm land. An lotsa NAY-chur. You know, like trees an plants an fellow animals an rocks an ponds an zillions of pawsome SMELLS, I mean EVERYwhere. Me an Mom also did hiking, which is sorta like walkin’ but you get More Serious an usually go farther.
“Umm, pooch pals, well lemme see, there’s George, he’s a Golden re-TREE-ver, an Henry, a Red Lab, an Marlina, she looks sorta like me. Ack-shully, Mr. Bonzo, I do like fellow dogs IF they’re CALM. But if they’re mean or growly, well, let’s just say that’s Another Story.
“I can get my Grrr On when necessary.
“My human besties are Nana and Papa: We totally Love each other. Nana walks me when Mom’s away. Then there’s Fred an Hanna Anderson an my neece an neff-you, Isla an Owen. They’re Tray fun!
“But mostly, I hang with Mom. She says I’m a Velcro dog, an I guess I am. I sleep with her, of course. An I had what’s called Sepa-RAY-shun ang-ZI-itty. I usta think when Mom hadda go somewhere without me she was NEVER, EVER COMIMG BACK! But she always does. So I’m Much Better Now.
“When we’re inna cold place like OR-re-gon, I wear my red- or purple-plaid sweater, or my raincoat.
“I like liss-nin’ to MU-zick, mostly classical an jazz. An watchin’ nature stuff on TV, birds an fellow animals, for the most part. I especially enjoy sunbathing in the morning: you know, gettin’ charged up with Solar Energy for the day.”
“That’s a great idea,” I observed.
“I know, right?” Stella replied, then shared, “Although I DO buh-leeve in personal HI-jean, I don’t really like BATHS, an when I’m gettin’ one I usually stand there lookin’ soggy an for-LORN, just for sympathy. But Mom mostly just ignores that. An I haff to admit the wadder IS nice an warm, an Mom always gives me a nice shampoo massage. After my bath, I usually get the Zoomies, an woof, do I NOT smell like a Dog anymore. I smell like a Coconut! Which I think is a liddle weird.
“Anyway, guess what my Totally Favrite Thing To Do is, Mr. Bonzo?”
“Um, well …” I began.
“Diggin’ for Crabs on the Beach! I don’t ackshully go IN the water. Just the soapsudsy part, an, anyway, the SAND is where the crabs are. Sometimes I get so focused an dig so deep my entire head is in the hole. All my beach pooch an human frens call me Stella the Crab Digger!”
“An appropriate cognomen,” I observed.
Stella’s tails were so intrestin’, I didn’t ree-lize how fast the hour had gone by. Headin’ home, I was picksurin’ Stella runnin’ all over the woods an fields happily smellin’ all the fascinatin’ smells. An cuddlin’ up with her Mom, havin’ pleasant, crab-centric dreams.
