Cottonball Bartholomew is probly the softest poocheroo I ever met. She’s an 8-year-old Mini Australian Shepherd, very frenly an inner-JET-ick. An did I men-shun – SOFT?
Cottonball met me an my assistant at the door, and came right up for the Wag-n-Sniff.
“Hi, Mr. Bonzo. I’m Cottonball Bartholomew, you can call me Cotton. THIS is my Mommy, Marianne. My hooman brother’s REED. He’s jus FIVE. We’re BFFs. My Daddy Blake’s in the ARM-EE ruh-ZERVE an also has a job in MED-duh-cin so he hasta go to lotsa places. Would you like a wadder or somethin’? It’s SO important to HI-drate, ya know.”
“A great pleasure to meet you,” I replied. “Thank you, I’m good for now, an you’re SO right about good hy-DRAY-shun!”
We got all comftubble, Cotton curled up in her Mommy’s lap, an I opened my notebook.
“Mommy says I’m a Velcro dog,” she explained, “cuz I always wanna be wherever SHE is, like, priddy much ALL the time!”
“Sounds Crispy Biscuits to me,” I commented, adding, “I was the same way with MY Mommy. So, Miss Cotton, tell me how you an your Furever Famly got together.”
“K, well, when Mommy an Daddy were in St. Pete doing important things called IN-turn-ships (not ackshull ships, I found out) Mommy started really, really, REALLY wantin’ a dog. So she did what lotsa hoomans do when they’re lookin’ for preddy much anything – she went On The Line and saw my pick-shur. I was inna place called Done Ellen, I think it was. It’s also in Flori-duh.
“Mommy was like, THAT’S MY DOG! PERIOD! FULL STOP! So she jumped in the car THEN an THERE an headed to Done-Ellen to GET me. She figured she’d innerduce me to my new Daddy when we got home, an hoped he wouldn’t be miffed cuz she didn’t mention me earlier.
“I was just a 10-weeks-old pupper at the time, but soon as Mommy picked me up I knew she was my Furever Mommy.”
“It’s an IN-stink. Pooches jus KNOW!” I exclaimed. “So then what happened?”
“I curled up in her lap an sorta snoozed the whole way to my new home. An Daddy might have been a liddle bit miffed, but only cuz he wudda ridden’ up to Done-Ellen WITH Mommy to get me. Me an him bonded right away, also.”
“Woof, Miss Cotton, Totally great tail. So, how’s life been thus far?”
“WAY fun! I was jus 3 when my very own hooman baby brother Reed arrived. I was SO excited, but it took a liddle while for him to be big enuff to ackshully PLAY with me. Now that he’s 5, we’re startin’ to have lotsa fun together. An we’ll just keep growin’ up together. Isn’t that SO Cool Kibbles?”
“The Cool Kibblest, Miss Cotton!” I agreed. “So, tell me about your day-to-day: Pooch pals? Favefood, games, travel, stuff like that.”
“Well, I’ve gotta say, I’ve done lotsa traveling. Like, lemme see, there’s San- Ann-Tony-O TEX-us – a whole ’nother state. An, umm, Oahu, Huh-WHY-ee, which is SUPER pretty, an there’s lotsa wadder falls. But I couldn’t go there till I had a buncha RAY-bees shots cuz Huh-WHY-ee doesn’t have ANY RAY-bees an it doesn’t EVER want to. Like NEVER! The first time, I hadda travel in the tummy of the plane, which was Totally Soggy Dog Biscuits. I yelped a lot. I mean, it didn’t hurt or anything, but I wudda pru-FURRED being with Mommy an Daddy. Now, I just don’t want to EVER be left buh-HIND. Anyway, we’ve been here for 4 years and it’s my FAVE place.”
“Do you have any favrite foodstuffs?”
“Umm, I only eat MEET an DARE-ee. An the occasional Cheese Stick. An also Pup Cups at Starbucks! They’re PAWsome! I get to sit atta ackshul TAY-ble with Mommy and Daddy. TRAY yum!!”
“What about pooch pals? Cats, perhaps? Hoomans?”
“OOoo, I LOVE Gramma Janet an Papa Lyle; an Pappy an MeeMaw; an Auntie Em an Uncle Alex, an my pooch cousin Maverick (he’s gonna stay with us when his hoomans go to a totally other country called, lemme think oh, SPAYN).
“Oh, an, I gotta tell you about Christmuss. So, for what hoomans call a CHAIR-uh-tee, almos our whole family gets all dressed up like Santa an Mrs. Santa an elfs and stuff. It’s WAY fun. Pappy an MeeMaw are Mr. an Mrs. Santa, an Mommy an the liddle kids are the reindeers an ELFS, an I ring the bell. Pappy says that, when I’m with ’em, they get more doh-NAY-shuns in the pot than when I’m not.”
“That is SO Pawsome, Miss Cotton!”
“I’m cool with cats, too,” she continued. “I grew UP with a cat, Leroy Brown. He taught me to sit on the back of the couch to monitor the perimeter, an also how to go outside through the Cat Door. I wanted us to be Besties, but he had other ideas. Oh well.”
“Whaddya like to do for exercise?” I queried.
“Well, I like the beach: just sorta layin’ where the soapy sudsy waves come up on the sand. I also usually herd Mommy an Daddy outta the wadder (bein’ a herdin’ dog an all, ya know).
“But what I LOVE most of ALL is my FRISBEE. It’s my FAV-rite thing in the in-TIRE World!!!! Not to brag, but you’ve GOTTA watch my VIDDY-ohs!!”
Miss Cocoa’s Mommy got out her phone an, WOOF, it WAS a-MAZE-zing!!! Her Mommy or Daddy’d throw the Frisbee an she’d take off runnin’, LEAP WAY high into the AIR, grab the Frisbee, gracefully sail across the yard an land daintily, back paws first. No Woof! Every Time! An then jaunt politely back to her Mommy an Daddy, returning the Frisbee for another round.”
Headin’ home, I was thinkin’ what a fun, happy life Miss Cottonball has, an what an amazin’ athlete she is. It makes me dizzy even THINKIN’ about launchin’ myself into the AIR. Just launchin’ myself into my pool is as much launchin’ as I EVER wanna do. Hummm. I sure wouldn’t mind tryin’ one of those Pup Cups, though.
Till next time,
