I met Baxter Boy Combs totally By CHANCE, when I was on another assign-mutt, an Woof! I’m glad I did. You know how some pooches – humans, too, probly – make you feel Much Better jus bein’ around ’em, when you’d been feelin’ GLOOMY? Well, Baxter Boy is one of those.
Baxter’s a smallish, white-an-gold poocheroo with rockstar hair goin’ Every-Which-Way, anna Really Great Smile. He was with his Mama, Angela, an we only had time for a quick Wag-an-Sniff, then we both hadda go, so he gave me his Woof-Mail, so we could set up an innerview.
On the appointed day, me an my assistant knocked on Baxter Boy’s door. “Hi, Bonzo! Come’on IN! Good seein’ you again!”
“Same to you Baxter Boy!” I replied.
“You can call me Baxter,” he said. “May I call you Bonz? So, how does this go?”
He sat in his Mom’s lap gettin’ Tummy Rubs, which he shared was his Ab-so-LOOT-ly FAV-rut Thing in the Entire World.
“Bonz is fine! So, tell me all about yourself, how you found your Furever Mom, daily life, pals, toys, foodstuffs, that sorta thing, an I’ll write it down.”
“Sounds like fun! So, I’m 9 now. I’m a mixture, mostly Jack Russell, as you can probly tell cuzza my stick-uppy coat. I sometimes wear it in what Mama calls a Mo-Hawk. Then it’s even MORE stick-uppy on toppa my head front to back. Mama says its cuz that’s the name of her favrite basketball team, atta big school inna state WAY up where its cold, called MISH-again.
“I watched basketball on TV one time: it’s a game where two bunches of real tall humans in short pants run back an forth bouncin’ a big ball onna long, shiny floor. One bunch tries to throw the ball into a floppy basket onna pole an the other bunch tries to stop ’em. An there’s another bunch of humans watchin’ ’em and yellin’. I got a liddle bored after a while.”
“Woof! I never heard of that game. Down here, humans like to hit liddle bitty balls with long sticks, an try to get ’em into liddle tiny holes all over a great big sorta field with grass an ponds an sand patches. An buh-leeve me, you NEVER wanna try to fetch one of those liddle balls! It’s confusin’. Anyway, tell me more about YOU!”
“Well, when I was probly about one in human, my Aunt Jennifer (she’s my Mama’s SIS-ter) adopted me from the animal shelter. She was PAW-some! But she’s a NURSE, a human who helps other humans when they get sick and stuff, ya know?”
I nodded.
“Anyway, she hadda work so much she didn’t have much time bein’ home, ’cept for sleepin’. I was lonely a lot an, even though it made her sad, she ree-lized I needed more time with my human. But it turned out OK cuz my Mama agreed to let me live with HER, which is GREAT cuz she’s a TEECH-er an she gets to teach from HOME, so I’m with her mostly all the time. AN, I get lots an lots of Tummy Rubs.”
“You’re One Lucky Dog!” I observed.
“Totally! It did take me a liddle time to get use to new stuff. But I finally came outta my shell is how Mama puts it.
“I don’t remember much about my life buh-fore I was at the animal shelter. I don’t remember havin’ toys or ackshully even playin’. Even now I’m not into Stuffies. Or even BALLS, which, I found out, most fellow pooches Totally ARE. Not me, though.
“What I DO love is The BOAT! Rollin’ on the river with the wind blowing my ears back, peekin’ over the side, or bein’ BY the river, all the fresh smells, watchin’ the crabs an manatees an doll-fins, an fishes; or runnin’ around on the sandbars! Of course, I always wear my life jacket!
“But I don’t like to be IN the ackshull WADDER. I’d NEVER jump off the boat or the dock! To tell the truth, I don’t even like Rubby-Dubbys, but, afterwards, I know I look Very HAN-sum, AN smell good, so I put up with ’em.
“Also, at first, I DID NOT DO leash walks. When Mama brought out the leash, I’d hide in the closet an burrow under stuff, probly cuzza my Jack Russell ancestors. Now I’m USE to it. We Leash Walk two times a day, usually.
“I sleep with Mama, of course; an my nex-to-fav-rite foodstuff is turkey. My extra spesh-shull fave is a McDonald’s hamburger. I get a tiny bite on Super Spesh-shull occasions.
“Do you have any pooch pals, or favorite humans?”
“Well, I mostly hang with Mama but …” (he lowered his voice) “I do have a grrrlfren. Her name’s Tipper. She’s a sweet liddle puffball. Also, When Gamma visits, I play with her pooch, Lola. She’s a CORE-gee.
“I totally love my human brothers, Jaelen an Jordan; an visitin’ with my cousin Maddie (she had CATS, but I’m basically MEH about cats); also Miss Nicole, who keeps my teeth all white an hansome. See?”
Baxter smiled a very big smile an his teeth were, in fact, VERY white an GLEE-ming. I was impressed.
“I guess I just like bein’, you know, in-CLOO-ded. When Mama’s grrrlfrens come over, I’m the Host, so I get treats an pats. I have lotsa collars for speshhull occasions, anna coupla sweaters in case it gets chilly. AN a cowboy hat. When I wear it, Mama calls me the Bark Ranger! Cool Kibbles, right?”
“The coolest!” I agreed.
“I guess I’m just a social, chill kinda pooch. Well, except for the LEAF Blower. THEN I’m fuh-ROW-shus! I’m pretty sure if I didn’t bark at it in a fuh-ROW-shus manner, it’d EAT me an maybe Mama, too. I DO also bark at Crab Traps. It just seems like the right thing to do.”
“Totally,” I agreed.
Headin’ home I was picksurin’ funny, happy liddle Baxter protectin’ his Mama from the Leaf Blower; an ridin’ in his boat, nose into the wind. I wonder if I cud get my hair stickky-uppy like his. Just on top. I’d probly need gloo.
