This week’s innerview-ee, Rosie Munn, could be the Poster Pooch for all us dogs an, of course, all you other pet spee-shees, who enrich our humans’ lives every day in our own spesh-shell ways.
Rosie is totally AMAZE-balls an also pretty, puh-lite, an Eee-ger to show what she can do. Which is a LOT. I mean, she ackshully has a LIST, on PAY-per, in TWO coll-ums, of all her skills. But she’s NOT Snob-nose about it.
Rosie’s a Snowbirddog from a state way up at The Top, on the right side, called MANE. (She even has a Free-quent Flyer card.) She’s a neat-an-tidy, black-an-white mixture of a Jack Russell anna Cocker Spaniel, with black flop-over ears, an lotsa black polka dots, which she eggs-planed is called PIE-bald.
Rosie an her Mom were at the door to welcome me an my assistant. Rosie came right up for the Wag-an-Sniff and said puh-lightly, in a soft liddle voice, “Good Morning, Mr. Bonzo. Please come in. I’m Rosie Grace Munn an this is my Mama, Dawn.”
“I can’t wait to hear your tail an see some of the Cool Kibbles stuff you can do,” I said as we got settled in.
“Me either!” she said. “Watch!”
Her Mama gave VER-bulls an hand signals, an Rosie executed every single thing, just like THAT. She was obviously enjoyin’ it! I was totally impressed.
She did the usual sit, stay, lay down, roll over stuff, THEN she did sneezy, sleepy, sad, sit pretty, spin, crazy, go-in-your-house-an-shut-the-door, find it, wave, leave it, jump thru (or into) my ARMS, walk backwards, get your blanky, find my sandals, take a bow, wave, nap time, pick up your leash, anna whole bunch more.
“Woof! Miss Rosie! That is SO IMPRESSIVE! How did you even LEARN all that stuff?” I exclaimed.
“Ackshully, Mr. Bonzo,” she said shyly, “it wasn’t that hard. It just seems to come NATCH-rull.
I’m always pickin’ up stuff Mama drops, even a COIN if she accidently drops one.”
“Well, you sure ARE a NATCH-rull. So, tell me how you an your Mama found each other.”
“OK. ’Member back when the humans all hadda wear masks an not go anywhere cuzza that duh-zeez? An lotsa ’em who didn’t have pets buh-fore got ’em so they wouldn’t be stuck at home alone. Mama always had two pooches so they’d have each other to play with, but her white shepherd Blizzard hadda go to Dog Heaven, an her other shepherd, Ava Mae, needed a fren, so Mama got ME. First time me an Ava Mae met, I was only about 1 poun. The human who had my lidder said Mama hadda take me when I was only 6 weeks old, even tho I still needed Mommy Milk. I think it was cuz there were 11 of us puppers, an our mommy ran outta milk. The vet said to give me GOAT milk, which I Totally Didn’t Like One Liddle Bit. But I ended up bein’ OK.
“An Woof, did I love Ava Mae. She was soft an cozy an I always felt safe an happy with her, even though she was, like, a zillion times bigger than me, it felt like. I was a year-anna-haff when she hadda go to Dog Heaven, an I was So Sad for weeks. Then one day I ree-lized I hadda be a Big Grrrl an take over her duties, an pruh-tect Mama. I never even barked at all until Ava Mae was gone, but now I do when I haff to.
“Now me an Mama are PART-ners an BFFs. She calls me her Lifesaver cuz I help her with all sortsa stuff! She’s the Best Mama an pooch teacher Ever! When I’m getting my nightly Tummy Rub, she always tells me I’m Strong, an Smart, an Beautiful.
“I’m always findin’ stuff for her: sox, shoes, keys, golf balls, sweater. Also, Mama has this thing humans get called, ummm, Ress-less Leg Sin-drome, which makes their legs feel all jumpy, mostly at night, an they bounce around. Since I’m usually sleepin’ by Mama’s feet, I can tell when she’s wigglin’ around an I puh-litely wake her up an snuggle an then her legs feel much better.”
“That is Totally Pawsome!”
“Thank you, Mr. Bonzo!”
“Do you have any pooch pals?”
“Oh, YES! Lots! Lemme see, probly my Bestie, up in MANE, is Willow, she’s a Golden Doodle.
Down the road, there’s Dale (we call him Clydesdale cuzza his Big Feet!). Down here there’s Phoebe, Quinn, Gus, Marley, Otis and Truby. Then there’s Echo an Sweet Pea; Ginger, a Cocker Spaniel; Bunny, a terrier; an Guppy Pearl. I love my fellow pooches. An humans, too. I’m mascot at our country club in MANE! Everybody knows me! I get to ride around in Mama’s golf cart!
WAY fun!”
“Sounds like it! Whatabout down here?”
“Bein’ an outdoor grrl, I love Frisbee, an campin’, an hikin’! Down here we hike at the luh-GOON, Riverside Park, Oslo, the GREENway, an the Indrio Pruh-ZERVE. Probly my favrite sport is Paddle Board. I don’t just plain swim that much, but I LOVE the beach, an Paddle Boarding in the O-shun!
“Oooh, an, another one of my fave things is uh-JILL-uh-tee. An something called LURE. Not to brag, but you oughta see me out there. Even when I was a tiny pupper I could fly around that course, up, down, over stuff, under stuff, though stuff! Even when they made it faster, with more turns.”
Rosie showed me a viddy-o an, Woof, she wasn’t kiddin’!
“Since I’m part Jack Russell,” she continued, “I also like huntin’. Around here, mostly MOLES.
My sniffer can smell a mole a mile away. THEN I DIG.”
“Any favrite foodstuffs?” I wondered.
“Ooo, I really enjoy roasted veg-tubbles, mostly sweet puh-tay-does, collie-flour, an broccolee!”
Headin’ home, I was smilin’, thinkin’ about pretty, puh-lite, athletic Miss Rosie: flyin’ around an agility course, snugglin’ with her Mama, findin’ lost sox, an makin’ new frens wherever she goes. An thinkin’ maybe I’d give broccolee another shot.
Till next time,
