Bandit Miglorie is a Short Jack Russell (short legs) with one of the Cool Kibblest coats I’ve ever seen, no Woof! Based on his name, I was picksurin’ him with a dark coat, or maybe that racoon-y sorta black mask around the eyes.
It wasn’t.
It’s sorta long, wavy an silky, an looks like wide vanilla-an-budderscotch-colored bands around his middle, snout-to-tail. Pawsome! (You can see his pickshure.) Me an my assistant were greeted by a frenly lady an man an Bandit, who was a liddle CAW-shus at first, till the lady assured him we were Okey-Dokey.
Following the Wag-an-Sniff, I complimented Bandit on his unusual coat.
“Thank you, Mr. Bonzo,” he replied, leading the way to a comfy room with a cowch anna PYAN-o.
“This is my Mom-an-Dad, Patty (I call her Patty), an Frank, my BFF (he’s a POTTER). I call him Buddy!”
“I can’t wait to hear your tail,” I said. “I understand you’re not from here uh-riginally.”
“That’s troo,” he said, getting comf-tubble. With paws tucked under, he looked like one of those fluffy neck pillows, I thought to myself. Or a loaf of banana bread. Totally Crispy Biscuits.
“I often sit in My Chair by the window, just chillin’ an PON-derin’,” he said. “It’s called an ann-TEEK.” He indicated a Very Speshull Lookin’ chair with fancy, curvy wood and plump back an seat. I’d never seen one like it.
“It’s Pawsome!” I said, pencil poised. “Ready when you are, Bandit.”
“K. I sometimes get a liddle confused cuzza the places we all were before we found each other. Lemme see: So, Patty an Buddy were in Vermont, an movin’ to North Carolina. Those are both STATES, like this one, but colder.
“They had a SPAN-yull called ‘Jack’ cuz, Buddy said, his gold coat was the same color as somebody called Jack Daniels. But Jack hadda go to Dog Heaven in 2005, even tho he was just 7. He’d been a ‘Daddy’s Dog,’ so Buddy was Very, Very Sad, an didn’t even want another dog for a long time.
“When they moved to another state, North Care-O-LINE-uh, they finally decided it was TIME. They found a pickshur in the newspaper of uh-DOOR-ubble rescue puppers: me an my sisters. So Patty an Buddy decided to ‘Just go look.’ (Which, as we all know, hardly ever works.) We were all inna liddle meet-an-greet room an my sisters were runnin’ all over the place like barky ninnies, while I wisely just hung out, chillin’. Pretty much right away, Buddy said, ‘Yep. We want HIM!’ An I had found my Furever Famly. That was 2012.”
Since he apparently doesn’t have a mean bone in his body (he’s all waggy, woofy an chewie, an loves everybody), I wondered how he got his name.
Bandit explained. “When we moved to here, my Gramma was livin’ with us. She wasn’t what you’d call a Dog Fan an I was just a pupper, still learnin’ how to be O-B-D-unt, an I still really liked chewin’ (which we all know is a puppy’s JOB). So I’d sneakily sneak in an nab one of Gramma’s shoes which had these cool kibbles things called ore-THAH-dics in ’em.
(They were Really Pawsome to chew.) I couldn’t help myself. Then one day, when I was happily chewin’ one of Gramma’s ore-THAH-dics, she rescued it an said, ‘YOU are a BAN-dit!’ An the name stuck, even after I outgrew chewin’ stuff I shouldn’t.”
“Great story, Bandit!” I laughed, flippin’ to a new page. “So, whaddya do for exercise? What was Puppy Trainin’ like? Any fave foodstuffs? Pooch pals? Do you like travelin’? Got any clothes?”
“I’m a Mama’s Boy,” Bandit said. “Patty taught me lotsa Important Dog Stuff: the usual, like where to Do My Duty, stuff like that. Anyway, one time I nosed around an grabbed her Speshull Teddy Bear. Full disclosure, I was probly on my way to chew it. So she took it from me and said quietly ‘NO! That’s MINE. YOU can play with THIS! THIS is YOURS.’ An she handed me one of my toys.
“When I’m playin’ outside, chasin’ (NOT catchin’) RAH-butts an stuff, Patty points to the sky and says ‘DANGER!’, an explains about Hawks and Ospreys that could GRAB me.
“She says I’m in-TELLA-gent, an Buddy agrees. He taught me Cool Kibbles hand-signal commands an I’m super good at ’em.
“We all three take lotsa walks. There’s this big polo field across the street an we go out really late at night when it’s cooler. I’m Very Good off-leash, but sometimes I have a leash on.
“I’m an EGG-selent traveller: When we were building this house, we drove back-an-forth from North Care-O-LINE-uh SEVEN TIMES! I just chilled in my crate.
“I don’t DO kibbles. I get pro-teen an veg-tubbles (Patty fixes ’em so they’re not MUSHY). I puh-tick-ularly love a good string bean. Sometimes I get a liddle bit of what Patty an Buddy are havin’, like LAMM CHOPS, speshully when I sit an stare at ’em with my Big Puppy Eyes.
Never Fails!
“Up where it’s Very Cold, I do wear sweaters, an my yellow raincoat an hat when it rains.
Here, I have lotsa spiffy bow ties for Speshull occasions. Makes me look SWAHVE.”
“I’d hafta say my BFF pooch pal is Bentley up in North Care-O-LINE-uh. We have our own strollers. They’re Way Crispy Biscuits. I got mine after an IN-jury, an ackshully started a TREND. Also up there are my pals Wayne an Nancy. Wayne usta let me play with him an his golf balls; an then there’s Sophia, a Totally Crazy Malti-Poo. She demolishes remotes an glasses. When she gets on my last nerve, I just give her One Big WOOF!”
I couldn’t buh-leeve how the time had zoomed by. Headin’ home, I was still envisioning happy, lovin’ Bandit, lookin’ like a charming loaf of Banana bread an riding happily in his stroller. I also reminded myself to Google “Potter.”
