Even though Chip Fisher Johanson weighs 87 pounds an (when not smilin’) does perhaps appear, well, fuh-ROW-shus, he’s a Total Puppy at heart, with soft, kind eyes: frenly, slurpy an super EEE-gur for whatever’s next. An, woof! does he ever havva fascinatin’ tail to tell.
Chip (aka Potato Chip, Chocolate Chip, Chipper Doodle) lives with his Mom an Dad, Nichole and James, an human brother Jace, in Suh-BASS-chun. When my assistant knocked, the window blinds started flappin’ an this Big Ol’ face appeared. Chip mooshed his nose against the window an grinned at us.
Then the door opened an we were greeted by a lady, anna boy, an Chip, wigglin,’ waggin’, an happily grippin’ a chew bone between his teeth. It was sorta braided, an obviously durable.
“WELL-cubb, Bister Bodzo! I’b CHIB! Cubb ID!!”
Somehow he managed a very large smile, even with a face full of chewy, which he placed on the floor in front of us an announced proudly, “I always like to show my Very Best Chewy to Frens an Guests!! Isn’t it PAWSOME?”
“It is, indeed!” I replied.
Following intros an Wag-an-Sniffs, Jace led the way to a comfy sofa, my assistant presented Chip with a duhlishus snack from The Satchel, an I opened my notebook.
“I’m super excited to tell you my story,” he said. “I just talk an you write it in there (he nudged my notebook), right? Maybe I’ll get a liddle drink of water first. Be right back.”
He trotted off down the hallway (right past his water bowl, I observed). A few slurpin’ sounds could be heard, then he zipped back. “I don’t drink from my regular water bowl,” he explained cheerfully. “It’s too liddle, an I get it all over the floor. Then I discovered there’s a handy, MUCH BIGGER water bowl in the bathroom, so that’s what I use. WAY better. It’s like a liddle pond.”
“Ready when you are,” I said, stifling a small chuckle.
Chip climbed onto his Mom’s lap, curling up with his head on her shoulder, basically obscuring everything but her head an arms.
“OK, so about 3 human years ago Mommy an Daddy’s pooches Captain an DeJa had gone to Dog Heaven, an Daddy said, ‘NO MORE PETS! ZERO! ZIP! ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NOT! NO!’ However, Mommy’s brother (Uncle Josh) happened to mention that his fren’s pooch in Fort Pierce had just had puppies (my litter) an they should go see us For No Reason Whatsoever.
“So Mommy an Uncle Josh did. They played with us an I thought, ‘Yay! I found my Furever Famly’ like our Pooch Mama said would happen someday, but they went home puppy-less.
However, cuzza our irresistubble adorable-ness, Mommy kept thinkin’ about us. Time passed. Uncle Josh told Mommy, ‘You better pick a puppy soon! They’re FREE!’ Daddy was not on board, but Jace really, really wanted a puppy. More time passed. Uncle Josh’s fren an us puppies moved to North Carolina. I’d been sure I’d found my Furever Famly, but I began to think I was wrong. I was gloomy. Then Uncle Josh told Mommy, ‘There’s only ONE PUPPY LEFT!’ Obviously, it was me.
“So at the Very Last Minute, Mommy an Jace drove to North Carolina an I got my Furever Famly after all.”
“Woof, Chip, you were right all along!”
“It was Meant To Be! Wait’ll you hear THIS! I was born July 20, 2020, which is what we call Mel Fisher Day!!”
“That name sounds fuh-mill-yer,” I said. But I couldn’t recall why.
Chip explained. “Mel Fisher is my great-grampa an my Mommy’s grampa, an my Gramma Taffi’s Daddy. Great-grampa Mel was the Most FAY-muss Sunken Treasure Hunter EVER.
He lived in Vero an treasure hunted in the ocean where a buncha Spanish treasure ships sunk in hurry-canes. He’d been searching for this one treasure shipwreck, The Atocha, down in the ocean near Key West for 16 people years (that’s like, 112 in Dog). THEN, on July 20, 1985, his crew FOUND the treasure, lotsa gold an silver an EM-rulds, which humans get Very Excited About for some reason. Isn’t that Totally Crispy Biscuits?”
“Woof! Chip! You said it! That’s Pawsome! Majorly Crispy Biscuits! So, what’s your daily life like?”
“I’m basically pretty chill, respectful, frenly. Occasionally, I still chew stuff. I mean, I’m only 3. Recently, Jace’s roo-bix cube. Mommy ordered another one, an I chewed it, pretty much, all up. Cuzza me being so, you know, big an all, I don’t have tons of pooch pals, even tho I’m always very kind to fellow pooches AN humans. I don’t do dog parks or daily-walk Wag-an-Sniffs. Anyway, Jace is my BFF! (We’re Major Miami Dolphins fans, BTW.) An I love liddle kids, speshully babies, like my cousin Merrick. He’s 1. An I love cuddlin’ with Mommy. (She taught me who’s the Alpha, an it’s NOT me!) I LOVE swimmin’ in Gramma Taffi an Grampa Michael’s POOL, even tho I mostly sink like a rock. I also run alongside Mommy, Daddy an Jace on the bike or scooter.
“At night, I watch TV in bed with Mommy, then I sleep with Jace. I like fetch, to a point, then I switch to Tugga-War. Which I always win. I know how to do Sit, Stay and Down, if a cookie is involved. An I have a fav stuffy: Lambie. Well, technically it’s not MY stuffy. Lambie buh-longs to Jace. I’m just DRAWN to it. I never mean to over-chew it, but it has had multiple surgeries by Mommy. Lambie only has one ear an a couple of replacement limms. An maybe some re-stuffing.
“Occasionally, I help at the famly bizz-ness, but only in the office. It’s all about Grampa Mel an the treasure, called The Mel Fisher Treasure Museum. Totally Cool Kibbles.”
Heading home, I was smilin,’ picturin’ Chip’s big, happy smile, an thinkin’ how easy it is to think the totally wrong thing about a fellow creature if we just go by what they look like. I was also plannin’ to Google more about Chip’s Grampa.
Till next time,
