Lily Divine is one of the liddlest, silkiest, delicuttiest poocheroos I’ve ever met: a 5.4-pound Yorkshire Terrier with looong, flowing hair! I mostly couldn’t even see her feet. She kinda looked like she was floating.
We decided to meet at her Dad an Mom’s office, which is an animal hoss-piddle. Lily doesn’t actually work there, but she’s there often on an unofficial basis an she’s very gruh-GARRY-us. I quickly realized that, although she’s small, her doganality and sense of humor are BIG!
A frenly lady carried Lily out to greet me an my assistant, an showed us back to a nice liddle room with chairs. “Welcome, Bonzo,” said the wee pooch from the lady’s arms. “I’m Lily, of course. This is my Mom, Sandy. My Dad, Randy’s somewhere around here, workin’. I’m glad we can finally meet In The Fur. I love your column, an I’m SO excited to ackshully get to be IN it. I got all groomed speshully for it. How do I look?”
She was totally ready for her close up an I told her so, an also mentioned that I liked the way she styled her ears. I had noticed that, while most Yorkies of my acquaintance had ears that stuck up, Lily’s flopped over in the middle, enhancing her you-neek cute-ness.
She laffed at that an told her first funny tail. “See, my ears use to be stickuppy like usual.
But one time, when me an my goofy liddle brother Joie were jus 12 weeks old we’d ruffhouse play. He was jus 3.3 pounds but he was strong. One time, Joie grabbed me by my left ear an dragged me all over the place an it started droopin’. So I had one up, an one down. A liddle while later, he did the same thing with my right ear. So they were both droopin’ and I decided, well, POO, I’ll just keep ’em like this.”
“Tell me how you got your Furever Famly in the first place,” I urged.
“Well, Mom an Dad had Yorkies Hannah an Gretta they love,love,loved like all True Dog-Lovin’ Humans do. Then in 2012 Hannah an Gretta hadda go to Dog Heaven within 6 months of each other an Mom an Dad were So Sad they didn’t wanna think about another pooch for A Long Time.
“Finally they started looking for two Yorkie grrrls and found two On The Line in Coral Springs: me an my sister Abbie. We were just old enuf to not need mommy milk anymore.
So Mom an Dad drove to the breeder to meet us an, of course, we were all groomed an adorable. They agreed to get us both.
“Dad went to get the car an Mom was lookin’ at comfy carriers, when she heard a liddle woof. It was our brother, Joie. The breeder lady gently handed him to Mom, and Mom blurted, ‘WE’LL TAKE HIM, TOO.’ So she popped all three of us into the carrier.
“With the carrier safely placed in the car, Mom an Dad drove off for home. After a while, Dad said, ‘Let’s take a look at the puppies.’ Mom opened the carrier an out popped Abbie’s liddle puppy head.
“‘She looks good,’ Dad said.
“Then out popped the second liddle head — me.
“’She looks good,’ Dad said.
“Then out popped the third liddle head.”
“’Wait. Wha’at? Didn’t we get TWO dogs? Who’s this liddle guy?’ Dad was a liddle confused. Mom explained that we were a set. Dad was like, ‘Cool.’
“Right away, me, Abbie an Joey blended right in with a pooch Mom an Dad already had, Chalupa Rose, a blonde Chihuahua who usta buhlong to Gramma Donna up in Minna-SODA.
“Joie hadda go to Dog Heaven so now its just us grrrls. I’m the Alpha so I’m, you know, in charge. Mom calls me a diva, but I think of myself as Queen.”
“Seems completely appropriate,” I hastily agreed. “Any fave toys? Pooch pals? How do you stay fit?”
“We have a huge toy chest. Mom an Dad remove all squeakers. (I think it’s a human thing.) I speshully enjoy my stuffy bone. Some of my Pooch Pals are Millie, Tillie, Babe an Precious, Yorkies I hang out with when they come in with Miss Sally for their check-ups; and Lucy, a Chihuahua who visits with my human sister Terrie.
“My exercise is mostly in the form of Spinning. I can spin till the cows come home. Any time I’m happy an excited, like when Mom an Dad come home from bein’ gone, I spin.
“Dad’s an Early Bird. We all stand in the kitchen and spin till he gets our breakfast.
“One time, Dad got this liddle air mattress for us, so we wouldn’t be uncomftubble on the tile floor. It was all inflated and Dad added a coupla blankets to make it cozy. We were all four curled up on it and Dad came in an plopped down on it. Soon as he landed on it, Boom, all four of us shot into the air, ears flyin’.”
I was laughin’ as I pictured the four liddle Yorkies shootin’ into the air.
“We love ridin’ in the car on Jungle Trail with the sun roof open,” Lily continued. “We greet the bikers, an they wave. We get leash walks, of course.
“Ooooh, an Guess What, Mr. Bonzo? Mom an Dad decided all our birthdays are July 11.
We always have a party! Mom an Dad sing Happy Birthday, then we each get our Very Own Liddle Cupcake!”
“That is Totally Cool Kibbles!” I exclaimed.
“We all hafta to take different kinds of pills every day so Mom hides ’em in liddle balls of braunschweiger. She thinks she’s bein’ sneaky and that we don’t know our pills are in there but we Totally Know. We just don’t care cuz braunschweiger covers up every other taste there is, and we all love braunschweiger.”
Heading home, I was grinning ear-to-ear thinking about Queen Lily, her long, silky coat and her huh-LARRY-us stories. An my lovely (Not Braunschweiger) evening dish of yoghurt.
Till next time,
