This week I had a duh-lightful innerview with a good lookin’ liddle poocheroo, Remington Steele (Remi) Landers, a spiffy, compact Chi-weenie, which is a Speshull Mixture of chuh-waa-waa an docks-hund: He’s gotta shiny red/gold coat, silky ears, an legs just long enuff so his tummy doesn’t drag.
AN, get THIS: We had our innerview at this Cool Kibbles place called STAR-Bugs, where humans go for COFF-ee, which, from what I have observed, is humans’ Favrite Bev-rudge in the Entire World. (I had a liddle slurp once, an let’s just say it ISN’T a Dog Thing.)
Remi an his Dad were waitin’ for me an my assistant atta ackshull TABLE an everything, Remi obviously comf-tubble seated on his Dad’s lap with a liddl red cup on the table in front of him, alongside his Dad’s cuppa COFF-ee: an the same were on our side!
“Good afternoon, Mr. Bonzo. Have a seat. Make yourselfs comf-tubble. We already ordered. This is my Dad, Chip. My Mom Doris’ll be along inna bit. We come here every week. It’s a truh-DISH-un! I always get a Puppaccino. You gotta try it. It’s Totally duh-LISHUS!!”
“Thanks, Remi!” I said, delicately putting my nose into the liddle cup. Remi was right! After wiping my muzzle with my paw, an checkin’ the cup to be sure it was empty (didn’t wanna be WASTE-ful), I opened my notebook.
“Let’s start with how you found your Forever Famly an your Cool Kibbles name.”
“Well, Bonz, although us Chi-weenies have the best parts of both our breeds – energetic, smart, kid-frenly, other pooch-frenly, an affectionate – we can get a teensy bit over-excited, speshully as puppers, which makes us kinda challenging to train. You hafta to have lotsa PAY-shunce an TIME. Which my first owner didn’t have. PLUS, my first owner had way WAY too many pooches. So I wudda probly ended up inna shelter except that my Few-chur Human Sister Amanda found out about my Puh-CARRY-us sit-chew-ashun, saved me from it, an told her Mom an Dad about me.
“Well, my Few-chur Mom had trained pooches pree-vee-us-ly an, although I was a sorta wild child, I was irresistubbly adorable an teeny (I fit in her purse an there was still wiggle room), so she an Dad decided to give me a Furever Home an teach me all the Necessary Dog Stuff.”
“Woof, Remi, you were so lucky your sister found you!”
“You’re tellin’ ME,” he replied. “I was also lucky Mom an Dad were Very Patient an loved me Very Much an weren’t gonna just toss me out like an old sock. I wasn’t easy-peesy to train. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. An I had So Much Energy an got excited ALL THE TIME.
(Mom says that’s the docks-hund in me.) But I’m also Very Smart an I really loved my new Famly so, when I (finally) realized it’s important To Buh-Have in the Famly Unit, I started payin’ attention. Mostly. I Sit, Stay, Stuff like that. Mom says I’m Treat Motivated, which seems reasonable to me.
“My original name was something like Speedy or Flash but, Thank Lassie, Mom an Dad thought it should be more sophisticated, as befitting my heritage an my dogganality.”
“Well, it’s Perfect!” I agreed. “So, what’s famly life like?”
“There were two other pooches when I arrived: Wynona, a boxer mixture, an Quincy, a terrier mixture. Wynona is like my pooch mommy. She’s always cuddlin’ an cleanin’ my ears. Isn’t that SO nice? See, I have very sensitive ears an they always hafta to be dirt-free. Once Mom tried to teach me to swim, but I non-stop barked cuz the water hurt my ears.
“Mom says Quincy’s her Comfort Animal. See, Mom loves bein’ a teacher for Speshull Kids, which sometimes is a liddle what humans call STRESS-full. One time, pre-Quincy, she had this random dream about a liddle white dog who made her feel calm. She didn’t men-shun it or anything but then, that very day, Dad called an said he was bringin’ home a skinny, raggedy rescue pooch. It was Quincy! A liddle white dog! Now he’s all healthy an he’s our Protector. He’s not that into humans, ’cept Mom an Dad, an he an Mom are BFFs.”
“Woof, Remi, what a Wonderful Tail! Tell me about your typical day.”
“Me an Quincy play an play All The Time. I also play with my liddle human neff-you Reece, he’s 2 anna haff. His baby brother is Ashton, he’s bran new, only 1 month. I love givin’ them Lotsa Kisses an Slurps!
“We get neighborhood leash walks, of course, sometimes with Reece, in his stroller. We’re always stoppin’ to yap with pooch pals an their humans, who wanna pat me an say how hansome I am. Cuzza havin’ very short legs, I usually get pooped before we get home: Then I swap places with Reece an ride in his stroller the rest of the way home.”
“Cool Kibbles!” I laughed.
“At night, Dad usually goes to bed first, cuz he always gets up Real Early to sell houses. (Just human ones, I think.) THEN an hour later, the rest of us go to bed. I always jump on Dad an give him a Big Good Night Kiss, so he gets to go to sleep all over again. We all have our Official Bed Stations: Wynona is at the foot. Quincy is up at the top end with the pillows, and me, I’m burrowed in between Mom an dad, hoggin’ the sheets. It’s perfect!”
“Any fave toys?”
“I don’t really DO toys. Other than removin’ the fluff. ALL the fluff. When I’m done, I always go find Mom and show her what a great job I did. It’s not that easy, you know. It takes pursa-VEER-unce.”
Heading home, I was thinkin’ about charming Remi’s journey to his happy Furever Home. An about givin’ my Gramma an Grampa a head’s up about Puppaccinos.
Till next time,