This week I had the pleasure of conversing with Peppah! Faust, a soft, fluffy gray tabby cat who was rescued Just In The Nick of Time. An does she have a Tail to Tell.
Me an my assistant were welcomed in by a nice lady who led us to a comfy sofa. At one end was Peppah!, gracefully stretched out, snoozing away. She yawned in that wide, every-tooth-showing way cats have and opened her eyes.
“Good morning, Miss Peppah!” I said in my soft, talking-with-a-cat voice. “I’m Bonzo an this is my assistant. I’m so happy you could schedule an innerview.”
“Ah, yes, Mr. Bonzo. Welcome. I am familiar with your work. Although I far prefer human compny and don’t typically associate with dogs (or other cats for that matter), I am pleased to speak with you. I had you vetted (no offense) because one can’t be too careful these days.”
“No offense taken, Miss Peppah!” I quickly replied, opening my notebook.
“I shall begin then.” She curled herself into another languid position, licked her front paws, and began.
“I have liddle recollection of my kittenhood, only that I had gone through some frightening experiences and found myself in a strange neighborhood, alone, hungry and feeling weak an sick. There were scary owls an coyotes who hunted for dinner at night, an once, an owl swooped so low I had to hide under a bush. All nine of my lives passed before my eyes. Thank Garfield, he didn’t get me! Then one day I peeped into a screen porch an saw three other cats, napping in the sun on comfy pillows. As I crept a liddle closer for a better look, two ladies (a mother anna daughter, Gramma Cat an Sophia, I found out later) approached an began talking to me. I wasn’t scared for some reason, an found myself going right up an rubbing against their shoes and ackshully purring, which I had forgotten I even knew how to do.
“Well, they somehow knew I needed help so they brought me inside and gave me some food an nice cool water. The other three cats were not that pleased, an I was nervous, so Sophia placed me gently onna fluffy blanket in another room, and I fell right to sleep. An just like that, I’d found my Forever Famly.”
“Oh, Miss Peppah!” I exclaimed, “that’s a wonderful tail!”
“Yes, it is! I was SO fortunate. And, as it turned out, Gramma Cat (as I call her now) rescued more than just me.”
“Huh?” I blurted brilliantly.
“When she took me to the vet for a check-up, we found out I was PREG-nut!!”
“Woof!”
“I KNOW! Fortunately, Gramma Cat is one of those humans who Knows What To Do. She placed cozy boxes an beds in hidden spots all over the house, so I would have Just the Right Place when it was Time. Then, when it WAS, she was right there to help me an talk to me an make sure me an all five of my kittens were OK. Even though I was pooped, I knew what to do.
That’s called IN-stinks.”
I nodded.
“I was only about 6 pounds post kittens, but I had plenty of nice warm milk an they were all healthy. An VERY ram-bunk-shus. Gramma Cat helped me name ’em: girls Jinx, Soonie, Evie an Bob; anna boy, AJ. That’s probly when I became Queen of the Nap. I was pooped out all the time.
“Me an my five liddle furballs had our own potty box and food and water dishes, separate from the other three resident felines, Bruno, Jasper an Zazu. Gramma Cat made a 2-story cat condo outta cardboard, with a ramp, which my babies loved. They ran an pounced an leaped an bounced all day long, then collapsed in a furry pile at night. All six of us snuggled up with Gramma Cat and went to sleep, nice an warm an, most important – SAFE!
“When my babies were old enough, we found Forever Homes for them an, guess what, I found a new home, too.”
“Wait! Wha’at?” I was puzzled.
“Me an Sophia had become Besties after my babies were gone, an she really, really, really wanted me to live with her in her Cool Catnip liddle apartment. So we all agreed. Now she’s my Official Forever Mom an I have my own Kingdom! It’s just us girls. I am a Professional Napper, with numerous nap locations. One of my favrites is the top of the fridge. I even have my own calendar, Cat Naps, with my pick-shur on every page, demonstrating the Art of the Nap, in all its very-A-shuns. I’m also a Fashion Consultant. If Mom makes a clothing choice I feel is ‘passer de mode,’ I just sit on it.
“I am also an ‘Early Morning Facialist.’ You see, when it is time for Gramma Cat or Mom to wake up, I pat their face softly with my paw (claws in, of course). I just pat, pat, pat, pat, pat till they open their eyes and, WAA-LAAA, there I am a haff-inch away from their face, staring at ’em; breathing puffs of kitty breath on ’em; an meowing softly. Sometimes, when Gramma Cat falls asleep with her glasses on, I carefully whoosh them off of her. That’s pretty fun.
“Ooooh, an I have my personal mode of transportation: a pink cat stroller with a cozy liddle screened compartment so I can see out. Mom takes me on lovely, long walks an I see all sorts of Cool Catnip things: trees, grass, squirrels, fellow pets, humans, ducks, all from my safe liddle stroller.”
Headin’ home, I was laughin’ to myself, pick-surin’ Miss PepPAH! gently whooshin’ the glasses off her Gramma. An I was feeling happy about shelters like the Humane Society an H.A.L.O., an regular humans like Gramma Cat an Sophia, who rescue so many Cats an Dogs Less Fortunate.
Till next time,
