Woof, did I have a fun innerview with Charlie Hoffman, a spruce, amiable FLUFFY liddle dude with a lotta talent and all the coolest aspects of his mixture: Havanese/Poodle/Yorkie. His face an head were very Yorkie-esque: long, center-parted wavy hair around eyes, nose an mouth, an fluffy ears.
The rest of him was bunny-soft, mostly white with some goldish places. An that TAIL: It was silky white an, when he sat, it curled on the floor in circles like you were lookin’ inna cuppa cappa-CHEEN-oh with lotsa swirly cream. No Woof! You shoulda seen it!
As he trotted up for the Wag-An-Sniff, I saw he was wearin’ this snazzy orange an black striped tie, the long kind. Totally pawsome!
“Bonz! Dude! A PLEASURE to meet you. Come IN! Come IN! Have a SEAT! Can I offer you anything? A Water? A Snack? THIS is my Mommy, Eve!”
“Totally my pleasure,” I replied, politely declining refreshment (bein’ On The Job an all). “Can’t WAIT to hear your story.”
He settled on the floor buh-tween his Mom and my Assistant an me, sitting up attentively lookin’ out toward the sliders.
“I always guard Mommy an her frens, just in case. You can’t be too careful, you know.”
I nodded.
“I’ll just begin at the beginning then, shall I?” he said.
“Ready when you are.”
“I was born July 6, 2018 in Ohio. Down here, Mommy had two Tibetan Terriers, Coco 1, then, after her, Coco 2. A while after both Cocos had gone to Dog Heaven, Mommy decided she wanted another dog fren. Her pooch doctor hadda black Havapoo who Mommy totally loved, so she decided she wanted a black Havapoo grrrl.
“WELL, she found MY breeder On The Line, with pickshurs of a bran new litter, which happened to be mine. There were pickshurs of all those irresistubble puppy faces except mine, cuz I was always either drinkin’ my nice warm milk or curled up sleepin’. All Mommy could see was my fluffy white caboose, which really stood out cuz all my littermates were black.
Apparently, the back half of me was adorable enough cuz Mommy picked ME, even though I wasn’t black, an I wasn’t a girl an I wasn’t an official Havapoo.”
“It was meant to be,” I said. “Happens all the time.”
“Soon as I was 8 weeks old,” Charlie continued, turning from watch-dog duties to hop onto his Mom’s lap an give her a few kisses, “the breeder flew me down to here onna BIG bird-sorta thing, accompanied by a Nanny. Mommy met me at the airport an snuggled me right away. It was WONDER-ful.”
“It appears your new life has been Totally Cool Kibbles thus far,” I observed.
“Bet your dog biscuits, Bonz! I have several nap beds (I sleep with Mommy at night, of course); anna big pile of mostly squeaker toys, including a pink chiggen with blue polka dots. My favrite is Piggy. I get car rides an daily leash walks; an Mommy’s teachin’ me cool stuff. Wanna see?”
I nodded.
“It’s SHOWTIME!” Charlie announced, as he performed well-executed Sit!’; ‘Shake!’; ‘High 5!”; and his favrite – ‘Dance!’ His Mom held a snack way up high, an said ‘Dance!’ Charlie quickly jumped up on his back legs an twirled around several times. I was duly impressed. “I LOVE dancin’!” he exclaimed.
But the most amazin’ thing Charlie did, in my opinion, was COUNT! No Woof! Charlie sat, his Mom held up one finger an said. ‘ONE.’ An Charlie barked once.
She held up two fingers, said ‘TWO,’ an Charlie barked twice. They continued all the way to FIVE! An he didn’t mess up At All! It was uh-MAZE-zing!
“I bet your days are Totally fun-filled!”
“Yep. Pretty Much! I kiss Mommy every morning to wake her up cuz it’s burnin’ daylight, an I’ve got places to go, an fun stuff to do! I have lotsa pooch pals: Lief an Goose down the street; Leash Walk frens Cody an Buckeye; an the gang at Doggy Day Care three times a week. Even the Great Dane. (Although I’m only 10 pounds, I ROOL at Doggy Day Care.)
He leaned in and lowered his voice: “Truth be told, Bonz, I also have a liddle crush on one of the neighborhood pets. She’s ackshully a … cat. I give her gentle liddle licks whenever I see her. She has this tiny liddle purr.”
“I hear you, pal,” I said. He sighed.
“Anyway, I have human frens, too: Miss Jewel, an the mailman, an the UPS guy (I dressed like the UPS guy on Halloween). An I meet lotsa frens walkin’ along Ocean Drive an the Village Shops. Several stores put out water speshully for us pooches. Some of ’em have TREATS. Like Sara Campbell; an J. McLaughlin, where I hang out with the human guys so they don’t get bored while they’re waitin’ for their ladies.
“Oh, an one of my VERY FAVRITE things is when Mommy has a PARTY! I tell you, Bonz, I am a Party ANIMAL! I sometimes wear a cos-TOOM. An get THIS: When all the people have arrived, I’ll grab the end of a toilet paper roll an run through the house to where everybody’s gathered, an make my Grand Entrance with that long TP streamer trailin’ out behind me, an I’m like, ‘Let’s Get This Party Started!!’ Mommy’s guests think I’m huh-LARRY-us! They pat me an tell me how Cute I am. (Which I don’t mind, even though I’m a Guy. I mean, you can’t deny, I AM Super Cute, right?”)
“Charlie, you are the King of Cute!”
As I prepared to leave, Charlie said, “Hey, Bonz, we outta get together when you’re not workin’.
Just hang out. Yap about dog stuff.”
Headin’ home, I was thinkin’ it would be Cool Kibbles hangin’ out off-the-clock with Charlie, a Cool Kibbles dancin,’ countin’, costume wearin’, cat lovin’ poocheroo, who really brought out my Inner Puppy.
Till next time,
