Bonz says newly adopted Coalie is now wholly happy

PHOTO BY KAILA JONES

If you looked up “ex-ZOO-ber-unt puppy” in the Dog-shun-ary, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a pickshur of Coalie Nemeth. No Woof! Coalie’s a black lab mixture, but he’s obviously mostly lab. About a year old. All bouncy and slurpy and happy. (I often wish you could stuff all that into a spray bottle an spray it on Grumps: human an pooch. But I digress.)

Coalie was right at the door to greet me an my assistant. He was wearing a bright green leash, trailin’ behind him, along with a nice lady. He bounded up for the Wag-an-Sniff.

“Oh, boy! Oh, boy! You’re Mr. Bozo, the fame-us COLL-uh-must! I’m Coalie Nemeth. Umm, lemme see, I’m spose to say, oh, right, ‘WELCOME!’ This is my Very Own Mom Carolynn. I Just Got DOPP-dud a coupla days ago. Isn’t that So Cool Kibbles? I couldn’t buh-leeve it! I was in this big tray-ler with a buncha other pooches an NOW I have my Very Own MOM, an my Very Own YARD, an my Very Own Home! An SIS-ters, even.”

“Woof! Coalie! I’m so happy to meet you, also. It’s BON-zo, ackshully. I can’t wait to hear your story!”

“Come on, Mr. Bono, let’s go sit over HERE.” He ran to a couch, where we all got comf-tubble.

My assistant rooted around in The Satchel an produced a coupla turkey-an-sweet-puh-tay-do treats. His Mom said he already knew how to Sit, so my assistant said ‘Sit.’ An he DID. While Coalie was happily munching, I opened my notebook. “It’s BON-zo, ackshully. But either way’s fine. So, how’d you an your Mom find each other?”

“Theebes are vebby yubby treeds! You should habb wud, too,” he said, swallowing.

“I was livin’ at the hew-MANE suh-si-uddy with a buncha other dogs, also some cats and ra-butts, a frenly place where humans come to DOPT us. They have this Very Big Trailer which they got with a grant from the Indian River Community Fund, Mom says. Last week they loaded some of us in it an drove to a place called DYER, with shiny cars all over the place. A bunch of grow-up humans an liddle kids came to meet the pooches, an leash walk ’em. Lots of ’em got DOPP-dud, so the Hew-MANE Suh-si-uddy humans went back for a re-fill. That was my group.

“I was sittin’ in my nice liddle cage, waitin’, I wasn’t sure what for, but it was fun an excitin’.

Meantime, Mom was driving by an spotted this sign that said ‘No Fee Adoption.’ So she stopped to look around. Then she left, probly cuz it was so crowded. A couple hours later, she came back, Thank Lassie, an everybody’d been dopp-dud ’cept me. I was the last one. Soon as I saw Mom, I ree-lized what I’d been waitin’ for. My Very Own Mom. Mom told the Hew-MANE Suh-si-uddy humans I was Her Dog, an soon as they made sure we were RFEO, Mom took me home. Isn’t that SO Cool Kibbles, Mr. Bogo?”

“Totally, Coalie! What a great story. It’s Bon … oh, never mind. You mentioned sisters?”

“Oh, right. They’re not dogs. They’re called ‘cats.’ Have you heard of cats?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I ackshully have several cat frens.”

“Well, there’s Oreo, she prefurrs bein’ out in the fenced yard. Then there’s Silky, she’s an Inside Cat. They’re kinda bossy but that’s OK with me. I hang out with Mom anyway. We both like hugs, an snuggles an cuddlin’ and we Understand Each Other, if you know what I mean.”

“I totally do,” I replied. “How long did it take to get use to your Furever Home?”

“I gotta admit, that first night I was a liddle app-ree-HEN-sive. I had to stay right with Mom the whole night. I didn’t ree-lize there are lotsa other kinds of animals than just dogs and cats. In our yard there’s squirrels, possums, raccoons, bluejays, woodpeckers, go-furr tur-dells, moles!

At first I stayed up all night with my nose to the glass slidin’ doors woofing pretty much non-stop. Mom hadda sleep on the sofa to make sure I was OK. When I first saw the deck, there was hole where a liddle piece was missing an it scared me. It was real dark under there. I’m preddy sure there’s GOB-lins under the deck, an they can get out through that liddle hole.

“I didn’t wanna walk on it at first. But now I’m not that worried cuz the goblins are scared of Oreo an Silky’s claws. Plus, as long as I’m with Mom, I’m Crispy Biscuits. Me an Mom are still sorta trainin’ each other.”

I smiled to myself. “How did you get that cool name?”

“Ackshully, my shelter name was Neptune. But Mom decided to name me after her Dad, who worked in the West Virginia coal mines: big dark, scary underground holes where humans dig for Coal, which is black like me, an they burn it an get nice an warm.”

“I like it! Whaddya like to eat? Where do you sleep?”

“My favrite meal is Mom’s speshull chiggen stew with rice. I also get sammon or tuh-LOPPY-uh with rice.

“At night I have liddle rugs to sleep on, or I curl up at the end of Mom’s bed. In the morning, I wake Mom up so I can go chase bluejays. (I LOVE runnin’!) I’m just tall enuf to plop my paws on Mom’s bed and give her some morning nuzzles. My favorite breakfast is French Toast with budder an maple syrup.”

“Made any pooch pals, yet?”

“Well, there’s an over-the-fence neighbor, Nola, a bee-gull. She’s a rescue like me, one of the pooches saved after that hurricane a while back. Nola runs up an down the fence, but just for short spurts, cuz she’s Gettin’ Up There.”

Headin’ home, I was smiling, thinking of sweet, loving Coalie, an his eagerness for whatever’s next; and about how he found his Forever Mom because a lotta things happened at Just The Right Time.

Till next time,

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