Mandy an Athena LaBaff are rescue pooches with short, shiny gold coats an very puhlite, frenly doganalities. They’re also adopted sisters: Mandy’s 14, an Athena’s a still-puppyish 2 anna haff.
They greeted me an my assistant, coming right up for Wag-an-Sniffs. Mandy introduced herself an her sister, “an this is our Mom, Stephanie. Our Dad, Tom, is workin’. Our human brother Jeremy’s 24; an our sister Bridgett’s 22. It’s a pleasure meetin’ you In The Fur Mr. Bonzo.”
“My pleasure, Miss Mandy,” I replied.
Athena was the larger of the two; Mandy, at 14 in human, was Gettin’ Up There, an was a bit slimmer.
Their Mom sat inna recliner with her legs stretched out, an Athena hopped onto her lap an got all comf-tubble, front paws an nose on her Mom’s knees, tail on her shoulder, paws sorta hangin’ over. It was huh-larry-us.
Mandy smiled. “Athena considers herself a Lap Dog. A 60-pound Lap Dog. She’s a lovin,’ playful Liddle Sister, but I can’t always keep up with her these days.”
“She’s a sturdy grrrl, all right,” I agreed. “So, Miss Mandy, how did you find your Forever Famly.”
“Many years ago, when Mom an Dad’s Doberman, Lex Luther, got to be 91 in Dog, he hadda go to Dog Heaven. It took a long time for Mom an Dad to be ready to have another pet. About 2 years later Jeremy, who was only 10, and Bridgett, who was 8, were REALLY ready for another dog. So, every Sunday morning, Jeremy, Bridgett an Dad would look in the Sunday pay-per for pickshurs of Humane Society pooches hopin’ for Forever Homes.
“Me an my litter had been abandoned, rescued, an, Thank Lassie, taken to the Humane Society.
We’d been all checked out an spiffed up an, this one Sunday, Jeremy, Bridgett an Dad saw our pickshur in the pay-per an chose one of us (who wasn’t me), and made an appointment to meet my adorable littermate in The Fur.
“WELL, the whole time they were fillin’ out paypers and talking with the Humane Society people, before they brought the pupper out, there was this loud Bark! Bark! Barkin’ from somewhere in the back, nonstop barkety, barkety, barkety barkin’. Mom was like, ‘Yikes, you don’t suppose that’s OUR Pupper.’”
Mandy pawsed and I took a wild guess what was coming next.
“Sure enough,” she continued, “it WAS my adorable littermate, an he didn’t stop barkin’ even when the Humane Society human gently carried him back to our litter. Then she picked ME up! Woof, was I excited. A liddle nervous, but mostly excited. Well, Mr. Bonzo, it was uh-MAY-zing! The minute Mom and Dad an Jeremy an Bridgett looked at liddle me, I was like, ‘Oh, there you are. I’ve been waiting for you an I didn’t even ree-lize it.’ I could tell they felt the same way cuz they picked me up an cuddled me and I felt warm, an safe an happy. Me an Jeremy an Bridgett grew up together.”
I wiped my eyes with my paw, an managed to say, “That is a Crispy Biscuits story, Miss Mandy.
So tell me how Athena joined the family.”
Athena, who’d been off-an-on snoozing, lifted her head. “I’ll tell this part,” she said. “Bridgett’s fren told her my owners couldn’t keep me anymore an asked if I could stay with her famly ‘Only Onna Temp-purr-rary Basis.’ Dad was re-LUCK-tent cuz he was more of a small dog person, an also a one-dog person. But he finally agreed, but only till I got a Forever Home. Full disclosure, Mr. Bonz, I did my BEST to be as Wonderful an Lovable as POSS-ible. An it WORKED! After a few months, like Mom says, I wasn’t going anywhere. I have The Best Famly.”
“What’s Day-to-Day life like?”
“I was always very outdoorsy,” Mandy said. “Sorta picked up the torch from Lex, I guess. I loved kayakin’, hikin’, campin’ and SWIMMIN’! One time, up in New York, I was chasin’ a deer all over the hills, an tumble-bounced all the way down this steep hill an freaked Mom an Dad out. But I popped right back up. We ran till we were both pooped, an Jeremy finally grabbed me. I usta go to the dog park every day. But, right at first, cuzza not havin’ Early Parental Support, I didn’t learn how to do Dog Stuff. I didn’t even know how to bury bones. I’d stuff ’em in the sofa pillows or blankets. Ackshully, I still do. The dirt is just so, well, dirty.”
“Makes sense,” I commented.
“I know! Right? Anyway, these days I can’t go like I used to. But I still do Short Spurts. An Athena’s a great liddle sis: keeps me active. She CAN be a pain in the kazoo, like when she runs right over me to get outside. I, however, am the Undisputed Boss of Dinner.”
“That’s true!” Athena stretched and rearranged herself into a curl. “I sometimes pretend I’m a Lioness. Like in the ‘Lion King.’ Then I stalk Dad. He understands cuz he drew lotsa liddle pickshurs for that movie. An others, too. He a good draw-er an storyteller.”
“Err, you know a lioness is a cat, right?”
“Of course, silly. But this is the Post-Species Era and we can, you know, learn from each other.
Anyway, Lionesses are Totally Cool Kibbles. So miss-TEARY-us.”
“Do you like to travel?”
“Absolutely!” said Mandy.
“Ridin’ in the car’s The Best!” added Athena.
“Our favrite ad-VEN-chur is going to the drive-through at Starbucks with Mom and Dad and gettin’ a Puppa-chino! Totally Pawsome,” said Mandy.
“What’s a Puppa-chino?”
“It’s a liddle cup of whipped cream,” explained Athena.
Heading home, I was thinkin’ about the two pooch sisters, one who buries bones in pillows, one who sometimes feels like a cat. Both charming, loving, happy pooches. An I was also thinkin’ how I could get grampa to take me to Starbucks drive-through for my own Puppa-chino.