Cody Kolbauer is an almost-3-year-old, pure-blood Golden Retreever who looks like he could be in moovies: you know, all that long wavy golden fur, real feathery, great poss-chur. Comin’ out the door with his human into his nice, fenced front yard, Cody greeted me an my assistant with frenly licks and nose bumps, and bounded right up for the Wag-An-Sniff.
“Good morning, Mr. Bonzo an Mr. Bonzo’s Assistant,” he said puh-litely. “Welcome to my house. This is my Dad, Lou. Let’s sit here at this handy table.”
“A pleasure to meet you Cody,” I replied, as we got all sit-chew-ated on the cool front padio. Cody’s Dad told him to lie down, an he did.
“First, Mr. Bonzo, I guess I should mention, I TOTALLY LOVE playin’ an runnin’, but I have this con-DISH-shun.”
He seemed Crispy Biscuits to me. I musta looked suh-prised, cuz he said, “I know I seem Perfectly Fine but, ever since I was about 18 months old, after I play for not even an hour, I get all overheated and Fall Over Inna Pile.”
“Shut the Doghouse Door!” I exclaimed. “Do you know why?”
“Well, sorta. The first time it happened, Dad got all scared. He thought it was my heart. I didn’t hurt or anything, I ackshully don’t remember much when it happens. My thinking just sorta turns off. Anyway, Dad brought me to a dog heart doctor who took some amazin’ pickchurs of my ackshull HEART, on the INSIDE, an found out it wasn’t that. THEN he did a DogNA test and found out it’s juh-neddick. My brain makes me overheated, like, pushin’ the wrong switches or something. Now when I’m playin’ and feelin’ fine, Dad Always watches for The Signs. Then he has me stop runnin’ around and brings me in the nice air-conditioned house, or I just lie down in the shade.”
“Woof, Cody! That’s Seriously Soggy Kibbles! Anyhow, tell me how you found your Forever Dad.”
“Dad’s Yellow Lab, Delaney, had just gone to Dog Heaven, an Dad was Very Sad. So his Grrl-fren, Miss Tiffany, decided to cheer him up with a suh-prise just-before-Christmas present: ME! I was 8 weeks old an, of course, Ruh-diculously Cute. Miss Tiffany was very nice, an I was So Excited she picked me. Me an Dad bonded right away. He named me Cody cuz, he says, I was the ‘Cutest Of all Dogs.’ Get it?”
“Totally!” I replied, envisioning a gold, cabbage-sized fluffball with puppy breath an wide puppy eyes. No human can resist that.
“So, what’s your life like? Any fav pooch or human pals? Foodstuffs? Ad-VEN-churs?”
“When I first got to my Forever Home, I zoomed around explorin’ everything. I was also a Nibbler. One time, I nibbled Dad’s ear an he said ‘Ouch!’ I felt very bad.
“Another time, when I was about 7 months old, Dad came home from work an there I was, standing in the middle of, like, a zillion feathers. I had just finished rippin’ open a couch pillow an removin’ every single feather, an was tryin’ to figure out what to do next. I hadn’t got feathers on me yet, tho. So Dad said, very calmly, in his Serious Voice, ‘Come. Over.
HERE!’ Which I did. Dad threw, like, 7-8 garbage bags fulla feathers in the trash. That was the first an last time I tore stuff up. I don’t nibble anymore, either, ’cept my squeaky beer bottle. An my tennis ball. I don’t rip it to pieces. It just gets sorta soggy is all. Me an Dad play Catch with it. I can grab it right outta the AIR. Watch!”
His Dad lofted the extremely bedraggled formerly yellow tennis ball, an Cody leaped gracefully an grabbed it out of the air like it was nothing. Very Cool Kibbles! Cody brought it right back, too.
His Dad said, ‘Sit!’ an Cody immediately did. He also Gave Paw.
“Dad’s teaching me some Basic Dog,” he said proudly.
His Dad motioned him to take a break, so he sat down an continued.
“I enjoy riding in our truck, just around town so far. Oh, an I also love swimmin’… a LOT. About a month ago, we went to Dad’s fren John’s house an his pooch Rocky, who’s a White Lab, invited me to play in his pool. It was my first time. It was Totally PAWsome! An I found out I’m a Really Good Swimmer. It’s in my Jeans.
“I usually get regular pooch food, but my fav food is pizza. An the pikkles outta Dad’s burgers. I like whatever Dad eats. He has two Cool Kibbles rest-runts: Chives an, um, I keep forgettin’ the other one. Some kinda fish, green, I think. I don’t go to work with Dad cuzza ROOLS, but I made sure they’re Dog Frenly. PLUS, I met all the humans who work in ‘em. They’re real nice, an, of course, they really like me.
“I don’t do the dog park or leash walks cuzza my con-DISH-shun. But I have this nice big fenced yard, so it’s perfect. I usta chase squirrels. I’m super fast. But I only caught one once.
A liddle one. I didn’t hurt it. I just placed it on the ground and stared at it. Dad heard it squeak. He picked me up an put me in the house, then went back to check on the squirrel. Pretty soon it ran away. I decided I was leaving squirrels alone from then on.
“As far as humans, Dad’s my Total BFF. I can always tell how he’s feelin’. He says I have a ‘Good Heart.’ Also, I love Gramma Diane. She comes over every weekend. She’s Totally Crispy Biscuits.”
An hour went by so fast. Heading home, I was thinkin’ about hansome Cody, so pleasant an joyful, even tho he has to deal with a Very Serious con-DISH-shun, made uh-JUST-ments, an missed out on lotsa Fun Dog Stuff, specially bein’ so young. You gotta admire a pooch like that.
Till next time,
