Nula MacGlennon is Yorkie/terrier mixture: an Only Dog with big brown eyes, gold legs an paws, long bouncy gold bangs, an gray in the other places. Totally cute.
“Good afternoon!” I said. “I’m Bonzo the Columnist. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Nula trotted right up with her Mom to greet me an my assistant. Ackshully, she mostly greeted my assistant, with enthusiastic wiggles an kisses.
Finally, she trotted over to me for the Wag-an-Sniff. “Good afternoon, Mr. Bonzo. I’m Nula MacGlennon, an this is my Mom an BFF, Kathleen. I don’t do anything without her if I don’t HAFF to. Ackshully, no offense, I’m not really a Dog’s Dog, you know? I’m more of a People Dog.”
“I sorta gathered that, Miss Nula. No offense taken.”
“Anyway,” she continued, “I was reading your column the other day, an asked Mom if she thought maybe I could be in it like all those other pooches.”
“I’m duh-lighted you Woof-mailed, Miss Nula,” I replied.
“Me too,” she agreed. “Let’s go sit on the sofa. Do I just yap and you write it down?”
“Exactly,” I replied, opening my notebook.
Nula had jumped onto my assistant’s lap an was bestowing kisses an nose bumps. When she returned to her Mom’s lap, I inquired, “Where are you from, originally?”
“I was born way far away in a place called Bend. First you go left, then you go up. It takes a long time. Anyway, me an my litter were in Dire Straights so we got rescued an taken to a nice place called Sky Dog SANK-chew-warry. I don’t remember much cuzza bein’ just a puppy, but I ended up here in FLOOR-uh-duh, which is where Mom found me, Thank Lassie. I was about 3. Now I’m about 8. What happened was, Mom’s pooch Roxie hadda go to Dog Heaven, an when Mom got through being Too Sad To Get Another Dog, she found a Liddle Dog Site on the line and saw my pick-shur. Then she drove to the shell-ter where I was, an we met. When the shell-ter humans brought me out, I had liddle yellow bows in my ears.”
Nula zipped off, then zipped back with a pick-shur. “Here, see?”
It was Nula wearin’ her yellow bows. I could see why a human couldn’t possibly resist her adorable-ness.
“I ran right up an jumped into Mom’s lap,” Nula continued. “An she said, ‘That’s IT!’ After the shelter humans checked Mom out to be sure I’d have a Good Forever Home, Mom got to take me home. My original name was Nuala. But Mom tried hollerin’ ‘New-WALLA! New-WAAALLLA!’ a few times an we agreed it was Not Me. So we removed an ‘A.’
“Cool Kibbles! Got any pooch or people frens?”
“Sure. Mostly human. My sister Erika visits. An Ant Natalie. Her pooch, Bella, a Cocker Spaniel, stayed with us once, but she got Real Homesick. We hadda cat, Kiki. I was cool with her, but she went to Cat Heaven. Then there’s Julie, my Stylist. I love the way she does my bangs. An there’s the Pool Guy. An the Yard Guy. An the A/C guy. He’s got a funny pooch name – Barker. They give me Snacks.”
“Whaddya do for fun?”
“Mostly hang with Mom. We offen go to that dog park by the river. I sniff around with the other pooches, but mostly I sit next to Mom, or sometimes with other frenly humans.
“A while back, I discovered this Crispy Biscuits Thing called ‘DIGGIN’. Have you heard about it? One day, Mom couldn’t find me. She hollered an hollered an finally found me over by the fence with my nose in the ground. I was scratchin’ in the dirt, an then this HOLE appeared. It was amazin’ Bonzo! I keep whooshin’ the dirt into a pile, an this HOLE keeps gettin’ bigger an bigger. My whole face was in it, an I was covered with dirt. It was grrreat! I thought I was in trubble, but Mom just laffed.”
“Ackshully, I HAVE heard about Diggin,” I replied, tryin’ not to laff myself.
“I also like chasin’ bunnies. They’re too fast to catch, tho, which is fine with me, cuzza the Fluff Factor. Before Mom lets me out to play, she bangs the door to warn the bunnies.”
“How ’bout lizards?”
“I was chasin’ a lizard this one time an I ran smack into the fence. Woof, was that embarrassin’! So – no lizards.”
“Any favorite toys?”
“Erika’s stuffy giraffe from when she was liddle: I NEVER chew it cuz it’s OLD.”
Nula fetched a well-worn-but-still-intact yellow-an-white giraffe an laid it down gently. Her Mom squeezed its leg an its neck began moving slowly back an forth. “That’s some tough giraffe,” I mused.
“But,” Nula continued, “I DO sorta chew my Lambchop stuffy. I recently demolished my third Lambchop, so Mom’s gettin’ me another one.
“Mostly, I do stuff with Mom. Like ridin’ to work with her on Saturdays. I love the wind in my face, an sayin’ hi to the other pooches along the way. Also chillin’ on the porch with Mom and sharin’ apples-an-peanut butter. Or the occasional Green Bean. I also greatly enjoy Chiggen Chips. You GOTTA try ’em!
“Me an Mom have a roo-TEEN: Breakfast at 8. An dinner’s buh-tween 4 an 5. At bedtime we read or watch TV on her Very Big Bed. I have my own pillows an everything. When it’s time to sleep, I jump down into my own cozy bed. I’m not a Cuddler, purr-say, but, if Mom ever needs me, I’m always there for her. I check. If she coughs or anything, I’m like, ‘MOM! MOM! Are you OK?’ I take Watchin’ Over Mom VERY Seriously.”
Headin’ home, I was smilin’ at the thought of charmin’ liddle Nula with yellow ribbons in her ears. I was also makin’ a Note-To-Self to puh-lightly ask grampa to obtain a bag of Chiggen Chips for me.
Till next time,