Woof, did I have a fun week: I felt like I was relivin’ my puppyhood, innerviewing three huh-LARRY-us, bouncy liddle sprouts: Bob, AJ an Sunni Rose. An guess what, they’re – wait for it – KITTENS! I’ve innerviewed several grown-up cats an learned a lot about promoting better inter-species relations (we’re more alike than different under the fur). But this was my first Kitten Experience.
As you might expect, I prepared to be as soft-spoken, gentle and puh-lite as I possibly could, expectin’ they would find me Big an Scary. Maybe they’d be hidin’ under the couch. But it didn’t work out that way.
The lady who answered the door said the kittens had been nappin,’ an went to get them. Pretty soon, the liddle fluffballs came zoomin’ out. They ran over to my assistant, poked their noses into The Satchel, then ran over to me. They were all tiger cats, with short fluffy fur. Two darker blackish/gray, one lighter gray with some gold places.
They looked at me with Curiosity but Absolutely No Fear.
“Good afternoon,” I said in my Least Growly Voice. “I’m Bonzo. I’m very happy to make your acquaintance.”
The biggest of the three padded over. “Hi! I’m AJ, these are my sisters Sunni an Bob, an our Forever Mom, Dee. Our human sister Katherine’s at work. You’re the biggest cat we’ve ever seen. But we haven’t been around that long. Are you a JY-unt? Your nose is Really Looong, an your ears are funny.”
Sunni
Sunni an Bob joined AJ, who was standing right under my chin. They stood on their back legs an began boppin’ my ears, laughing meowy liddle laughs. It tickled, so I started laughin’, too.
“Ackshully, my liddle frens, I’m not a cat. I’m a different kinda animal: a DOG.”
“Is that why your ears are so funny?” Sunni asked, boppin’ one again.
“Yep.”
“An why you’re so HUGE?” queried Bob, scootin’ under my tummy to the other side.
“Yep.”
“Cool Catnip,” exclaimed AJ. “A DOG. We’re learnin’ a lotta intrestin’ stuff.”
“I’d love to hear how you found your Forever Mom,” I said. “Who wants to start?”
“Me. I’m biggest, so I’m In Charge,” AJ said.
Bob an Sunni instantly pounced on their brother, laughin.’ “You WISH!” said Bob.
“Girls ROOL!” said Sunni.
AJ shook his head. “Shush, let me tell Mr. Bonzo our story.”
The kittens plopped into a fluffy heap on the floor. I opened my notebook. AJ began: “Our Mama, Miss Peppah, was all alone in the world. Not much more than a kitten herself. A stray. Skinny, scared, sick, hungry an almost ready to have us. There were five of us. Just when she figured she’d used up the last of her 9 lives, this Very Kind Lady found her an took her in. When she ree-lized Mama was gonna have us, the Very Kind Lady took Mama to the doctor. She made a soft, fluffy, comfy place for Mama an us an, when The Time Came, she helped Mama, gave her lotsa pats an talked real soft an gentle an, when we started appearin’, gave us little pats, too. (Our other two sisters are Jinx an Yvie.) We already knew how to sqwunch up inna row for our Mama Milk. When our eyes opened, we started playin’ an ’splorin’. We learned about The Potty Box, and the Scratchin’ Post. At night, Mama an us’d all pile up on top of Very Kind Lady an go to sleep. It was WUNNER-ful!”
“Yes, it WAS!” Bob an Sunni agreed.
“When we graduated from Mama Milk to regular food, Mama said it was time for us to find our own Forever Famlies. We were a liddle sad, even The Very Kind Lady, but she promised it was gonna be Totally OK. So, when we got our shots an made appointments for the No Kittens Procedure, we found our Forever Famlies: Yvie an Jinx went to another Very Nice Lady. The Very Nice Lady’s daw-der took our Kitten Mama to college. She has TWO comfy chairs by the window, with PILLOWS! An her own Potty Box!”
“An,” piped up Bob, “WE got to come HERE. We love it!”
“There’s So Much Room to zoom around!” added Sunnie. They demonstrated, zooming in big circles on the tile floor, slippin’ an slidin’ an skiddin’ to a stop by the table. “SEE?” said Bob, breathlessly.
Their Mama produced a Mouse-Onna-Stick with a bell. Sunnie an Bob instantly began boppin’ it, tumblin’ over and laughin’, while AJ sat beside a pair of sneakers, casually groomin’. “My sisters can be So Goofy,” he observed.
“I’ll tell Bonzo about Luna,” said Bob.
“Luna?” I said.
“We didn’t know right away, but there was another cat in the house. Luna’s a rescue, too. Real pretty. Fluffy. Part Siamese. At first, Mama hadda keep us separated. Luna insists we remember she’s Queen of the Queendom. An we totally do.”
“For SURE,” added Sunnie. “Luna’s bigger than all of us together. I’m only 2.8 pounds. She hangs out on the screen porch, an she says we Must Never Knock the Plants Over. She also said she never played before. Didn’t know how. So we taught her, an now she ackshully plays with us. Isn’t that Cool Catnip?”
“Totally!” I agreed.
“I jus remembered,” blurted Bob. “We’re gonna meet a Dog at Thanksgiving. Our human brother Daniel’s bringin’ his dog Kimbo. I wonder if he’ll look like you, Mr. Bonzo.”
“Probly, in some ways.”
“Ooo, an Mr. Bonzo,” Sunnie innerupted. “We have our very own bowls. We get kibbles an wet, squishy food, too. An, we get to all sleep with Mama, jus like we use to with the Very Kind Lady!”
“That’s excellent!” I exclaimed.
Heading home, I was thinkin’ how unafraid the kittens were of me. I decided, probly, animals, like humans, might naturally all get along if they didn’t learn to be scared of each other. An wishin’ I had as much energy those three liddle fluff-muffins.
Till next time,
The Bonz