This week’s very fun innerview was with Jerry an Lexi Schoenbrun, Cool Kibbles rescue step-sisters of the feline variety. Their coats are short an very Basic Cat: that stylish gray-ish/black-ish/brown-ish tiger stripe with a long, slim tail. (Just between me an you, they buh-haved more like dogs in catsuits. They were real frenly an laid-back – not the teeniest bit concerned that I was, you know, a DOG. They even like BATHS, if you can buh-lieve it.)
Lexi
Anyway, their dad met me an my assistant at the door and ushered us in. Right away Jerry an Lexi approached, with absolutely no hesitation, for the Sniff-an-Size-Up.
“Good morning,” I said, in my Warm-But-Professional Voice. “Thanks so much for agreeing to an innerview.”
“Totally our pleasure, Bonz. I’m Jerry Schoenbrun, I’m about 9 in Human. This is our Mom an Dad, Gail an Fred, an this is my liddle step-sister Lexi, she’s about 4 anna haff.”
Lexi was smaller than Jerry, an had pretty, snow white paws. “Hi, Mr. Bonz,” she said. “I can’t wait to get my PICK-shur in the PAY-purr!”
“An I can’t wait to hear your story,” I replied.
“Since I’m the Boss of the House, I’ll start,” innerjected Jerry. (I’m almost positive Lexi gave me a wink anna big grin.)
Jerry began. “Mom an Dad, they lived up in Cuh-NETTI-cut with a coupla rescue cats anna dog. When it was time to get another cat, they were checking around and, this one day, they were at the Cosgrove Animal Shelter and spotted me amongst all the other shelter cats. I was around 3. I’ve never been one of those aloof, Meowy-er-Than-Thou cats. I dig humans an I’m not afraid to say so. All the other cats were doing those uppity cat things, being all skittish an grumpy. But not me, no siree.
“I was right up at the front of the cage, movin’ in for the pats, all energetic. So Mom an Dad scooped me right up an, Wah-Lah! I finally had a Forever Home.
“For quite a while, I was an Only Cat. I’d sit an look out the window, an watch birds an those silly, Ninny-Muffin squirrels, or just hang with Mom an Dad.”
“That is So Cool Catnip,” I commented, making use of one of the few Cat Expressions I knew. (Thank Lassie for my “Cat 101” handbook.) “So, how’d you get down here?”
“We moved about a year ago. Preddy soon after we got settled in (this past March I think), Mom an Dad decided I should have a come-PAN-yun, since I’d been around fellow cats pretty much my whole life.”
“OK. MY turn!” Lexi piped up. “I’m tellin’ THIS part.”
“Go for it, Kiddo,” said Jerry, curling up on the cool tile.
“Mom an Dad looked at a buncha cat rescue places, an finally found me at H.A.L.O. You know how sometimes you just KNOW you’ve found your Forever Famly? Well, when me an Mom an Dad spotted each other, I just KNEW. But in a strange new place, I was a tad skittish. I’d hide. One time I crawled under the bed an curled up in this liddle place in the mattress. It was nice an cozy, an I fell asleep. Mom an Dad were con-CERNED. Took ’em a haff hour to find me an gently pull me out.
“Now I sleep in the bathroom, on my comfy mat. Jerry sleeps with Mom an Dad, an he does a lotta roamin’ at night. I guess that’s from his Tom Cattin’ days, huh, Jer?”
“Those days are nothin’ but a dim memry,” Jerry said. “I just like to patrol, make sure the house is suh-CURE!”
“So, whaddya you do for fun?” I hastily inquired.
“We like hangin’ by the pool and watchin’ the squirrels an birds, just like in Cuh-NETTI-cut. Those squirrels sometimes make us Catnip Nuts! PLUS, down here, there’s those liddle lizards. Sometimes they get inside the porch: then we CHASE ’em. I’m not sure why. I think it’s an IN-stink.”
“They’re super speedy,” Lexi innerjected, “but sometimes I accidently catch one. I NEVER hurt it. I bring it to Mom an Dad as a liddle present. Soon as I carefully set it on the floor, it zooms off. Then Dad tracks it down, picks it up inna NAP-kin an puts it back in the grass.”
“One time, there was this snake that got into the porch. That was kinda scary.”
“Woof, I’ll bet,” I said.
“Ackshully, Mr. Bonz, I think they wouldn’t be so scary if they had fluffy fur like us, you know?”
“I’d never thought of it that way, Lexi,” I said, imagining a fluffy snake.
“Bottom line, Bonz,” concluded Jerry, “me an Lexi are two of the most fortunate cats around. There are still so many rescue cats without Forever Homes. I hope there’re a lot more like Mom an Dad who ree-lize what wonnerful famly members we can be.”
“Ditto that, Big Brother,” Lexi said.
I heartily agreed.
Heading home, I was thinkin’ about all the homeless cats an pooches who still need Forever Famlys, an feeling extra glad I was gonna be in my own Forever Home with my Gramma an Grandpa soon. I was also trying to get the creepy image of a fluffy snake outta my head. P.S.: Speakin’ of the Humane Society, they’re gonna have a big Pet Adoption Day an BBQ at Dyer Suburu this very Friday, Oct. 9. Pass it on.
Till next time,
The Bonz
