This week I innerviewed Miss Sydney Skinner, a frenly, charming sable-an-black Collie. All the other Collies of my acquaintance have luck-JURY-us, flowing hair, I was a liddle suh-prized when Sydney an her Mom opened the door. Here was this beautiful big pooch with that unmistakable loooong Collie face, but with real short hair, ’cept for her super fluffy tail. It was very chic. I could tell she was smilin’, even though she had a floppy stuffed elly-funt in her mouth.
“Good morning,” I said. “You must be Miss Sydney.”
“Yeff, thad’s be. Cub odd id!” she petooied the elly-funt out an trotted up for the Wag-an-Sniff. “This is my Mom, Claudia. I’m real fuh-miliar with YOU, cuz my Dad, Dennis, usta just love your columns. He went to Heaven a coupla years ago. Now it’s just us grrrls. We miss him So Much.”
“I know how hard that is,” I sympathized.
“Yes, it is. But I take real good care of Mom. We make each other feel much better.”
“I feel that is a dog’s Most Important Purpose,” I told her earnestly. “If you don’t mind me sayin’, Miss Sydney, that hair-do is quite stylish. I’ve never seen a Collie with a buzz cut.”
“Thank you, Bonzo. It feels great! Nice an cool. Miss Jackie, my stylist, comes right to my house. Mom wanted me to be COMF-tubble down here where it’s much warmer than I’m use to. We lived in Seattle before (it’s way far up, over in the corner) an it’s MUCH more chilly.
I opened my notebook. Sydney settled down with a chewy bone. “So, how’d you find your Forever Famly?”
“I was born in Missouri in 2016. Mom an Dad had other Collies before me, but when their last Collie, Abbey, went to Dog Heaven, they waited a whole year to look for another one. Then Dad went On the Line an found my breeder, who had a bran new litter: mine. I’m sure glad they picked ME. My litter name was Gracy, but Mom an Dad changed it cuz there was already a pooch named Gracy in the famly.
“I flew in one of those big metal birds, in my very own air cargo crate, up to Seattle. It was kinda loud. I was only 11 weeks old an I was a liddle app-ree-HEN-sive. But soon as my crate was unloaded, Dad picked me right up an set me on the floor, an Mom said, ‘Hi, Sydney. You’re such a big girl to fly across the country all by yourself.’ They were so NICE, an I felt all calm an happy.”
“How was your move to Florida, leavin’ a chilly place an movin’ to a warm place?”
“Not bad, ackshully. The car ride was four whole days. We stopped a lot so I could do my doody, thank Lassie. It was mostly pretty fun ’cept, in the stoppin’ places, there were these Very Big, Loud, Scary Trucks. An in one place where we stayed at night, we got in this liddle bitty room with our stuff an some other humans. There were no windows, an the door closed, an then I had this weird feeling in my paws, then, Mr. Bonzo, buh-lee it or not, when the door opened, we were Someplace Else. It scared the Dog Biscuits out of me. I’m NEVER gettin’ in one of those liddle rooms ever again! Mom says it was an elly-vater.”
“Woof! I don’t blame you. So, what’s your typical day like?”
“It’s so much fun! I have a nice fenced yard to run around in. An I have a big basket of toys. I’ll show you my favrites. You saw my elly-funt. Look at THESE!”
She picked up a pink stuffy purse with “Princess” written on it. Then she grabbed a well-munched vanilla an strawberry ice cream cone stuffy with chocolate sauce an sprinkles! I’d never seen anything like it.
“It usta have a squeaker,” she explained. “But I ate it. I’m mostly real well buh-haved, so I have the run of the house. I never jump on the furniture or anything. I have a special spot on the livin’ room floor where I can sit an see out the front an back, an watch the animals and humans and birds. There’s a pond in the neighborhood with DUCKS. An there’s BUNNIES. An two big tall long-leggedy birds that always walk around together. I’m puh-lite, an NEVER chase ’em. There’s just this one teeny little thing: socks. I LOVE chewin’ socks. One time I accidently ate two of Auntie Nancy’s socks, an Mom hadda buy new ones. But that’s my only liddle flaw.”
“Any pooch pals?”
“Oh, Woof, yes! There’s, like, 18 pooches in our neighborhood. My BFFs are Coco, a Shi-Poo; Lizzie, a Golden Retriever; an my nephew Rocco, a Bee-gull. (You innerviewed him last month, remember? His Mom Wendy’s my human sister.)”
“Oh, sure! Rocco! A good-lookin’ poocheroo, for sure!” I commented.
“Coco’s so liddle she hasta take two or three times as many steps as me on our leash walks. When she gets pooped, she rides in her Mom’s bike basket. We don’t have play dates these days cuzza that bad virus thing, but we still see each other on our walks. Then there’s my niece Hanna, she’s one of my best human frens.”
“What’s your favrite snack?”
“I LOVE canned green beans. Oh, an, apple yoghurt snacks. An bacon, egg an cheese!”
“So many snacks; so liddle time,” I said.
“True, true,” Sydney replied.
I ree-lized an hour had zoomed by. Heading home I was tryin’ to remember if I’d ever had an ackshull green bean. Lots of you poocheroos seem to like ’em. I think I’d like to try one. I’m gonna check with my Gramma. Also, I gotta admit, I was thinkin’ about Miss Sydney. An her beautiful looong nose. An her cute haircut. Sigh.
Till next time,
The Bonz
