I bought toilet paper.
I didn’t plan to buy it, didn’t want to buy it and, really, didn’t need to buy it, knowing the supply at home was sufficient to get through another week or two.
But while stopping at a local Publix last weekend to pick up some dishwasher detergent, there it was – a pallet of toilet paper, multiple brands in different-size packages, under siege by a swarm of coronavirus-anxious customers who swooped in as if it were bottled water on the eve of a hurricane.
So, I grabbed some, mostly because I simply couldn’t stop myself.
I got caught up in the frenzy spurred by the relentless barrage of news reports and social-media images of empty supermarket shelves that, under normal circumstances, would be fully stocked with bathroom tissue, and I took advantage of the store’s two-package limit.
I feel awful about it, too – which is the exact opposite of what the talking-head psychologists on TV say I’m supposed to feel.
According to them, buying those 12 rolls of toilet paper was supposed to make me feel better, even though they’ll do nothing to fend off COVID-19 or its symptoms, because it created the absurd illusion that being proactive provides some semblance of control over a rapidly spreading, global pandemic.
The mere feeling of doing something, the experts say, reduces the stress that weakens our immune systems. The weaker our immune systems, the more susceptible we are to the virus and its effects.
All of that might be true, but as I drove home with my jackpot purchase, I began to feel silly, gullible, and even ashamed – because, raised as I was by my “Greatest Generation” parents, I expect more of myself.
I expect more of all of us, really, especially in times of adversity and particularly here, where our sense of community is among the qualities that give Vero Beach its small-town charm and makes it such a special place to live.
When confronted with the attack on Pearl Harbor in December 1941, our parents and grandparents eagerly embraced a we’re-all-in-this-together, we-shall-overcome spirit and rallied as a nation to meet the challenges preparing for, fighting in and winning World War II.
Sixty years later, a different generation of Americans, including the good people of this community, again got up off the canvas, patriotically united as a nation and refused to be cowed after being knocked down by the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
And, though not nearly as jarring on a national scale, many of you here long will remember the summer of 2004, when we were pummeled by back-to-back hurricanes that flooded streets, ripped off roofs, uprooted trees and knocked out power.
We fought our way through that adversity, too, and we did so as we always have – by rising to meet the challenge, by being at our best in the worst of times, by putting aside our differences and pulling together.
We need to do it again, now that we face an entirely different threat.
Maybe, given how dangerously divided we seem to be these days, too much damage to our national fabric has been done to appeal to everyone’s better angels. Maybe it’s too late to ask people to reject an every-man-for-himself philosophy and, when necessary, sacrifice for the greater good.
I don’t want to believe that.
Instead, I’m hoping that, as testing for the virus increases and we get a better feel for our fate in the next couple of weeks, we’ll overcome our initial and understandable fear of the unknown and respond collectively in a way that makes us proud.
We might have little control over the virus-related decisions made and actions taken in Washington, where our leaders stumbled out of the gate, and Tallahassee, where Gov. Ron DeSantis deserves applause for his firm leadership and prompt, no-nonsense handling of this crisis.
We can, however, control how we respond here – as a community, as neighbors, as individuals.
To that end, everyone should stay informed, follow the latest updates and take the recommended precautions, such as hand-washing and social distancing, to prevent the spread of a virus we know too little about. But it does no one any good to panic.
Mass panic, such as the reckless, social-media-spawned run on toilet paper and hand sanitizer last week, can be counterproductive, even dangerous. In this case, it resulted in the hoarding of items needed by our neighbors, some of whom were left to do without.
Let’s be better than that.
Our state and local officials, as well as organizations throughout the county, have responded as they should. Schools have been closed, court proceedings have been severely curtailed, programs and events, including the annual Firefighters Fair and Vero Beach Air Show, have been canceled or postponed.
Still, by the time you read this column, it’s possible someone in our county will have tested positive for COVID-19. That’s when the real test comes – the test of our character, courage and conviction.
Not to get overly dramatic, but this really can be our finest hour, because we don’t know how long this virus crisis will last or how bad things will get before they get better. And they will get better.
Eventually, this pandemic will pass, preferably sooner than later and with as little loss of life as possible. What we do in the meantime, however, will be judged by history.
So let’s make sure, when we look back on this nerve-wracking chapter, we can hold our heads high and feel good about the selfless way we conducted ourselves, the consideration we showed our neighbors and our ability to come together as a community when it mattered most.
Which brings me back to that toilet paper I bought …
You want to know what my wife said when I arrived home with those 12 rolls of Cottonelle?
“Now we have some to give to friends who run out.”
That made me feel better.