I would just like to say “Woof!” This week’s innerview was with a 7-year-old shih tzu, Maggie Mae Chiyka. An does she ever have it Goin’ ON! Animal Planet says Shih Tzu means “lion” in Mandarin Chinese, which is Cool Kibbles, I thought. (Liddle bitty lions, cuz they only get to, like, 15 pounds. Maggie Mae’s 12 pounds.) Animal Planet also says Shih Tzus are “clever, intelligent, affectionate, lively an spunky,” an Maggie Mae is totally all of the above. Plus cute.
When we knocked, there weren’t any barks, only some toenail clickittys. A frenly lady answered, an this liddle black an white pooch came running up, all wiggly an smiley.
She was wearing a short, curly cut, longer around her face. Her ears an eyebrows and most of her head were black, with trimmed bangs over her eyes, anna white beard. The hair on top of her head was tied with a liddle white bow. It was black with cool white highlights, the kinda colors human ladies go to special, fancy places to get.
“Hello! DO come in! I’m Maggie Mae Chiyka an this is my Mommy, Marian. My Daddy’s Harry. I know who YOU are! You’re The BONZ, right? You’re even hansommer than your pickshur! Did you find the place all right? Would you like a snack?”
I realized I was staring.
“Err …” I responded brilliantly. My ears were getting warm an I was feeling very glad dogs don’t blush. “Umm, YES! I, umm, I … NO! I mean, no trouble finding you. An no snack, but thank you.”
She laughed a tinkly liddle laugh. “Well, let’s go sit down an we can talk.”
I casually retrieved my notebook from the floor an followed Maggie Mae an her Mom into the living room, having a fast but firm conversation with myself about maintaining a professional demeanor.
“So, Miss Maggie Mae, tell me all about how you found your Forever Famly.”
“OK, Mr. Bonz.” She smiled a sparkling smile. “Let me know if I go too fast. So, My Mommy LOVES Shih Tzus. I’m her fifth, I believe. She was volunteerin’ at an animal shelter up in Delaware, which is a state, like Florida, but wa-ay colder. She had a Shih Tzu already, Marcus, and she wanted a pal for him. Her fren, Pat, was also lookin’ for a Shih Tzu. (We’re a very popular breed, you know. The Chinese royal families had lotsa us around for sittin’ on their laps an posin’ for por-truts an stuff.)
“Anyway, Mommy’s shelter frens were on the lookout in case any Shih Tzus got brought in and then, this one day, they called an said, ‘Guess what? Two Shih Tzus just got brought in.’ WELL, Mommy an Pat zoomed right over an, the second they saw us (me an my sister Lily) they said ‘WE’LL TAKE ’EM!’ Mommy grabbed me, an Pat grabbed Lily. Woof, did we ever Luck Out!”
“So, how’d you an Marcus get along?”
“Ack-shully, at first, I was a liddle apprehensive. Marcus was real patient, though, an priddy soon we were great frens. When he went to Dog Heaven, me an Mommy cried an cried. But, since my Mommy an Lily’s Mommy were BFFs, me an Lily got to have lotsa play dates, so that helped!”
“How did you end up in Florida?”
“Mommy an Daddy had been Snowbirds for a long time, an I got to be a Snowbirddog, which was fun cuz I love ridin’ in the car, an I really liked the warm-ness down here. Finally, they decided to move for good. I have a grown-up human brother down here, too – Jeff. Plus, GUESS WHAT? Pat an Lily ALSO moved down here, so we still get to be BFFs! Isn’t that Super Crispy Dog Biscuits?”
“Totally! The Crispiest!” I agreed. “I’m interested in what your day is like but first, I’ve gotta ask, who’s your stylist? You are SO Put Together.” (I couldn’t buhLEEVE I had ackshully asked that, but she was just, so stylish, like Lassie, or a Westminster champion.)
She gave that little laugh. “Why thank you, Mr. Bonz. It’s AN-drew! I just LOVE him! I get so excited when I go to the groomer, I just twirl around in circles. I wouldn’t let anyone else touch my hair.
“Every day, I get leash walks. I have lotsa Leash Walk Pooch Pals, like Toby, also a Shih Tzu; Bentley an Bella, they’re Mixes; an my other BFF, Emma, she’s a terrier. Liddle kids often stop an pat me. My favrite form of transportation is my buggy. I could ride in it forEVER. I’m also a Fashionista.”
That was no surprise.
“I have hairbows in every color. Mommy made me a fluffy pink princess outfit, an I wore my lovely red sweater when I visited Santa at Christmas. He even let me sit on his lap!”
“Woof, that’s PAWsome,” I exclaimed. “So, whaddya like to eat?”
“I get special frozen food made in Pencil-VANE-yuh. ABSOLUTELY NO PEOPLE FOOD. For treats I get puffy snacks or carrots. Me an Mommy also love to crunch on ice cubes. Whenever I hear the fridge open, I rush in, an Mommy gives me one ice cube.
“During the day, I sit out on the screen porch, on my liddle cot an ob-SERVE, but I NEVER, EVER go out in the yard by myself. That’s mostly cuzza the lake. Monster ally-gadors live there, an they like eatin’ snack-size pooches like me. Just thinkin’ about it gives me the Utter Willies.
“At night, I curl up with Mommy an go to sleep. Honestly, Mr. Bonz, I’m so thrilled to have such a lovin’ famly, I don’t make waves: I never bark, or chew stuff, or nip. An I’m always ready to snuggle. I feel it’s the least I can do.”
Heading home, I was pick-surin’ pretty, ladylike Maggie Mae, smilin’ at me with those sparkly black eyes. And stylish hair-do. And soft liddle laugh. Sigh.
Till next time,
The Bonz
