As me an my assistant walked past a lotta pretty flowers to Nunzio Maglio’s front door, a buncha very well-groomed pooches ran up to the side fence and began barkin’ an yappin’ and bouncin’ an waggin.’ They were all different colors an sizes, an I didn’t know which one Nunzio was.
When the door opened, they’d all scurried around to the back, an three of ’em were at the door with a lady, still barkin’ an yappin’ and bouncin’ an waggin.’ “Good morning, everybody! I’m Bonzo the Columnist, an this is my assistant.”
A group Wag-an-Sniff ensued, followed by lotsa slurps, nose bumps, wags, nuzzles and lap jumping bestowed on my assistant (who loves all that stuff).
A liddle black Schnauzer stepped forward. He hadda confident strut anna Cool Kibbles black collar with red ledders that said “Red Dog Saloon,” anna tag with his name.
“I am Nunzio Maglio. On behalf of the entire Maglio famly, I welcome you to our home. Come. Sit. Make yourselves com-ftubble.” He led the way into the living room and innerduced everyone. “This is our Mommy, Melissa. Our Poppie, Richard, is way, way far away inna place called Baghdad. He doesn’t get to be home that much, which is totally Soggy Dog Biscuits. This is Seraphina, a rescue like all of us. We think she’s probly a Dandie Dinmont Terrier.”
I tried to look like I’d heard of that breed before. “A pleasure,” I said.
Seraphina’s a plump liddle poocheroo with a wavy white coat, liddle short legs, anna pink collar with white pawprints.
“Good morning, Mr. Bonzo,” she said sweetly.
“This is our older sister Lilly,” Nuncio continued. “She’s in charge, mostly.”
Lilly’s a black Lab (but a lot shorter than usual), an gettin’ white around the paws an muzzle.
“Welcome Mr. Bonzo. Nunzie’s right. SOMEbody’s gotta keep these silly scally-waggers in line.”
“Good morning, Miss Lilly,” I said.
“An this is Maggie Mae.” Nunzio indicated a pretty, energetic liddle liver-colored pooch, who looked like one of those Brussels Griffons. She had exotic gold-green eyes.
“Delighted, Miss Maggie Mae,” I said. “So how did you all become such a great famly?” I opened my notebook.
“I was first,” said Nunzio. “I was just a puppy when Mommy an Poppie saw my pick-shur online at Liddle Dog Rescue in Orlando. Now I’m 10. Mommy an Poppie already had Willie an Sydney, so I hadda learn manners and duh-PLO-macy pretty fast, AN stay on the good side of Sydney (she was a Chow, if you get my point).”
I totally did. “That’s some Cool Dog Biscuits collar,” I commented.
“Thanks! Mommy an Poppie got it at the Red Dog Saloon in Juneau, Alaska, where they are Very Big on Black Schnauzers. Gotta lotta Black Schnauzer merch.”
“Me next,” Seraphina piped up. “Mommy also found me online from Liddle Dog Rescue. I wasn’t quite 1. Now I’m 9-ish. My breed’s originally from Scotland, which is that way.” She pointed. “You hafta go over a buncha water.”
“I came next,” said Lilly. “An it was a real close call for me, I can tell you. I was at a kill shelter in Brevard Cow-nee: nobody wanted me cuz I was 12 – anna dwarf. (You probly noticed my very short legs.) My number was almost UP, when H.A.L.O. saved me. Mommy just happened to be at PetSmart gettin’ supplies, right when H.A.L.O. had some of us pooches there. Mommy wasn’t pooch-shoppin,’ but when she saw me an heard my story, she knew we were MFEO, Thank Lassie! (Now Mommy hasta order supplies online.) I love to lay out in the yard, an roll around in the grass. An when these pooches start goofin’ around, I just herd ’em back in.”
“Maggie Mae’s the newest member of our famly,” said Nunzio. “She was saved by K-9 Rescue in Okeechobee, an she was with some other rescues at PetCo when Mommy found her.”
Maggie Mae bounced over. “Yep. Me an my sister Brae were both there. Mommy an Poppie got ME, and Mommy’s fren got Brae. We have play dates every Sunday! There’s usually a whole big bunch of us. Way fun!”
During the innerview, I kept hearin’ a funny voice sayin’ stuff like, “Hello!” “Come in” “What’s up,” stuff like that. I was gettin’ more an more puzzled. Finally I said, “I keep hearin’ voices. What IS that?”
They laughed. Nunzio said, “Oh, that’s Gwee-do. We’re used to it. He’s always curious when we have comp-nee.”
“Errr, Gwee-do?”
Their Mom uncovered a big cage an pushed it closer. “What’s up?” said its occupant.
“Gwee-do’s an African Gray Parrot. He’s 30. Mommy an Poppie chose him when he was just an egg.”
“Are you woofin’ me right now?” I asked.
“Nope. He hadda stay with his bird Mommy for 6 weeks after he hatched, then our Mommy got to bring him home.”
“Hello!” Gwee-do said.
I was amazed. Gwee-do was very han-some. Mostly all gray, with a two-tone tail, half white/half red.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you!” I told him.
“What’s up?” said Gwee-do.
“So,” I asked Nunzio, “What’s your typical day?”
“I keep us safe by policing the house,” he replied.
“I help Nunzie by sitting on the sofa an sur-veiling,” said Seraphina.
“I am the Official Squirrel Patrol,” said Maggie Mae. “Nuncie’s my back-up.”
“I, of course, establish order out of frequent chaos,” added Lilly. “An we all take care of Mommy, an make sure to give her lotsa love an snuggles.”
Heading home, I was thinkin’ about blended families. They come in all shapes, sizes – an species. An have one important thing in common – love.
Till next time,
The Bonz
