This week I innerviewed two super nice pooches, Riley an Sebastian Benson, who live by the ocean. Riley’s a Golden Retriever, 82 pounds, beautiful face an real soft eyes, the kind that make humans wanna give her lotsa head pats an ear friffles. She just turned 14 last week. Sebastian’s a Shih Tzu. He’s 12. An he’s spunky. Definitely spunky. A cool liddle dude. Also very cute. But I’d never dream of callin’ him liddle. Or cute. Out loud.
Riley the Golden Retriever
After polite Wag-and-Sniffs, Sebastian said, “Come’on in! Have a seat! I’m Sebastian Benson. But just call me Seabass. Everyone does. FYI, I wear the pants around here.” (No surprise.) “This is my big sister, Riley, an our Mom, Michele. Dad’ll pop in soon. He’s Tom.”
“Mr. Bonzo. A pleasure,” Riley said sweetly.
“Likewise,” I replied.
We got all settled in the living room an I remarked about the nice view.
“Yep,” said Seabass. “We spend lotsa time out on the balcony, sniffin’ all the Cool Kibbles smells and catchin’ the breeze. So, should we give you some background?”
Sebastian the Shih Tzu
“I’m ready when you are.”
“We should mention,” Riley said softly, “we’re snowbirddogs. From St. Louis. We’re thinkin’ maybe we’ll stay. This is Seabass’ an my second summer here, an we love it.”
“Word!” said Seabass.
“Mom an Dad got me in 2005,” Riley continued. “Dad had a Golden he loved so much. His name was Riley. He went to Dog Heaven so, when Dad an Mom were ready for another pooch, to keep their pooch Ginger, a Cavalier King Charles, comp-ny, an to be Mom’s Support Dog, they got ME. An named me Riley.
“Once, at Christmastime, Mom had a whole buncha wrapped presents inna a big bag in the back of the closet. I hadda good nose, so I investigated very carefully – didn’t do any damage – an found MY present! I gently took it outta the bag an carried it around. I was So Proud of havin’ my Very Own Present. But I didn’t unwrap it cuz it wasn’t Christmas morning.”
“I’ll take it from here, sis,” Seabass said. “In 2007, when Mom was in Atlanta on bizzness, our human sister, Meredith, an Dad went to this auction for chair-riddy, an they were auctioning off a puppy: ME. You can imagine how Totally Adorable I was. Meredith was like ‘Puh-LEEZE, Dad. Puh-LEEEEZE!’ So Dad bid, but somebuddy else bid more. I was bummed an Meredith was bummed. I’m not sure Dad was that bummed. But the humans who won me couldn’t keep me so Dad an Meredith got me, Thank Lassie!”
“Woof! What a story!” I exclaimed.
“Anyway, when Dad an Meredith picked Mom up at the airport, there I was! A fait accompli!”
“A, umm, a what?” I asked.
“A done deal!”
“Oh, right.”
“I learned that from a French poodle pal. Anyway, we all got along fine right away. Riley was always a good big sis. Up in St. Louis, I’d perch on the back of the sofa an look for squirrels in the yard. If one appeared, I’d go all ‘SQUIRREL!!!!’ An shoot off that couch like a rocket.”
Riley interrupted, with a liddle laugh. “This silly boy coulda run right out the slider into the yard, but NO. He’d jump off the sofa, zoom through the famly room, over my dog bed, through the breakfast room, out the doggy door, through the garage and into to the yard. Of course, the squirrel was in, like, Chicago by then. An remember when you were a puppy an Mom’s fren was puppy-sittin’ you and you ate one of her ’spensive fancy pink an orange Jack Rogers sandals?”
“Thanks for remindin’ me,” said Seabass. “Yes, I had some chewing issues back then. An remember the time YOU brought Mom that liddle present? Mom thought it was a stick in your mouth, so she pulled it out an it was a mouse tail. With the mouse attached.”
“I thought she’d be pleased,” said Riley, with a liddle pout. “Anyway, I peetooied it out an it ran away. An Mom recovered, too. Lesson learned. To continue, Mr. Bonzo, Ginger went to Dog Heaven, so it’s just us four.”
“So what’s life like, down here in Florida, bein’ snowbirddogs an all?”
“Pawsome!” Seabass said. “We know how to be puh-lite an quiet. That’s called bein’ ree-SPECK-ful of our neighbors. MY most fav-rite thing is my daily early-morning walk with Dad along Ocean Drive. It’s in-VIG-uh-rating! So many innersting smells, an lotsa nice bushes. Some stores put water dishes outside ’specially for us pooches. Very Crispy Dog Biscuits, doncha think? Sometimes those BIG dogs think they can scare me cuz I look like a fluff muffin, but, if they get in my grill, I suh-prize ’em with my Big Bark. I may be liddle an fluffy, but I’m FEARLESS!”
“Yes, you are,” said Riley. “I, on the other paw, don’t walk as much as Seabass cuzza hip issues. MY favrite thing’s the Saturday morning Farmer’s Market. When Mom gets out her burlap bag, I start bouncin’ around. On the way, I always stop for a liddle visit with my special human frens, Pete and Beemer. It’s a tra-DISH-un. An I have lotsa frens at the market, too. I schmooze an Mom buys veg-tubbles an stuff. I’m getting’ Up There, not a puppy anymore, so I nudge Mom when I’m tired. She lets me carry my leash all the way home. I stay close, an lead the way. Like this.”
Riley nudged her Mom, who got the leash. Riley picked it up daintily and brought it over to show me. “Shee. I cad cawee it all duh way hobe.” She plopped it into her nap mat, an plopped herself in after it.
Heading home, I was thinkin’ about how some pooches, like Riley, have a Special Gift for makin’ humans feel happy an comf-tubble, like things are gonna be OK. And about spunky, fearless Seabass, an inspiration to liddle dogs everywhere.
Till next time,
The Bonz
