This week I innerviewed a stylish Mini Australian Shepherd, Mia Eby, who hadda Big Adventure, an her Mini Pinscher brother Charlie, a fearless, super-active fireball who knows in his heart he’s a Big Guy. I wisely never mentioned that “mini” thing to him.
Mia trotted up for the Wag-an-Sniff. “Hello, Mr. Bonzo. I’m Mia. This is my Mom an Dad, Marcia and Tom; my niece Ava; an my brother, Charlie.”
She turned to Charlie, who was sizing me up, head tilted, sailboat ears in Alert Mode. “Bonzo’s gonna innerview us, remember?”
“OH! Right! BON-zo!” Boom! He shifted into overdrive. Soon as we sat, both pooches jumped into my assistant’s lap to bestow welcoming wags, wiggles an kisses. Mia jumped down an began their story.
“Charlie was an Only Dog. He picked Mom an Dad when they an their gran-kids (5, 8 an 9) were lookin’ for a pooch at the Humane Society a while back.”
“Yep!” Charlie innerrupted. “I KNEW they were MY humans. I was squinched between a coupla Black Labs, an I just busted through an ran straight to Dad. THEN, when the liddle humans came over, I zoomed right to them. All dogs know humans with liddle humans won’t even con-SID-er adoptin’ a pooch who doesn’t like kids.”
“Word!” I agreed.
“Of COURSE, Mom an Dad adopted Charlie,” Mia said, “I mean, who could resist, right? But, after a year, they were getting’ Totally Frazzled.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, you might have noticed, Charlie NEVER sits still for more than a nano-second. Evry single second he was Jumpin’ on stuff. Jumpin’ OVER stuff. Getting’ INTO stuff. Mom an Dad were DES-prutt! A buncha Dog Park frens suggested getting’ Charlie a pooch playmate to keep him busy, slow him down a little.”
“So that’s where YOU come in?”
“Yes. Mom an Dad decided a Mini Aussie’d be best for the job. They innerviewed a coupla pooches an finally found the Perfect Pooch, ME. I was the runt of my lidder, only three-anna-half pounds. Me an Charlie got on great right away. I could ackshully walk right under his tummy at first. Now I’m bigger. When he gets too ram-BUNK-shuss, I grab him by the collar till he calms down. Right, Charlie?”
“Sheesh! Yeah, she does,” Charlie said, rolling his eyes.
“I hear you had a Big Adventure,” I reminded Mia.
“Yes! Last Christmas. Mom an Dad hadda holiday gathering Far, Far Away. They hadda fly inna plane. Me an Charlie were bunkin’ at our human brother Dan’s house. Charlie was Cool Kibbles with it, but I didn’t understand. I wanted my Mom an Dad an my own house an comfy bed. So, on Christmas Day, when Dan was comin’ in the door, I flew out it, an ran away. Dan was FRANNICK! He called Mom an Dad and they were frannick, too. But they couldn’t come home cuzza no flights.
“All I was thinkin’ was I gotta find my Mom an Dad. But I got lost. I was on strange streets, with strange humans an strange dogs. Nothing was fuh-mill-yer. I was pooped, an scared, an hungry an thirsty. Where was Mom? Where was Dad? Where was Charlie? WHERE WAS I?”
“When Mom an Dad finely got a flight home,” said Charlie. “Me an Dad went on long walks hopin’ Mia would see us an come back. I was so worried about her, but also mad cuz she ran off an left me. Mom an Dad contacted all their frens, including one called St. Francis, who really loves animals; our vet; the Humane Society; put pickshurs of Mia all over the place an on line. An a big buncha dog-lovers sprung into ackshun.”
“Humans kept callin,’ reportin’ in,” said Mia. “I was spotted on Old Dixie. Then somebody saw me crossin’ You Ess 1. I’d never seen anything like it. Millions of cars an trucks. It was loud an scary. Once inna while, a human’d recognize me an call my name an start walkin’ toward me, but I didn’t know ’em, so I’d run away. When it got dark, I’d find a hidden spot somewhere to sleep. I scratched my leg in the woods. When it rained, I curled up under a bush.”
Charlie continued. “So many nice humans worked day an night, tryin’ to find Mia. Then I had an idea: Mom an Dad should put Mia’s food an water bowls an bed an blanket out on Dan’s porch so, if she was near, there’d be something fuh-mill-yer. So they did. And said lotsa prayers.
“I just kept plodding along, dog tired, no idea where I was going, just puttin’ one paw in front of the other,” Mia said. “If I hadda tail, which I don’t, it wudda been draggin.’ Suddenly something made me look up. I didn’t know the neighborhood. But there was something. I found myself walkin’ toward this house. I didn’t recognize it, but there were some smells I did recognize. When I got closer I saw MY OWN DISH. MY OWN BED. MY OWN BLANKET! I couldn’t buh-leeeve it. I ran up an scratched on the door. An DAN opened it! I was overjoyed. I couldn’t wait to see Mom an Dad an Charlie (who told me I’d been lost for 12 days). The vet checked me an said I was fine ’cept for I lost 5 pounds. I got a shot just in case, since nobody knew what I’d been eating, including me. I think I blocked it out. I was HOME! Thinkin’ about all those Super Crispy Dog Biscuits humans who spent so much time lookin’ for me makes me wanna give ’em a Big High Paw an some slurps.”
Heading home, I was thinkin’ how important things get when you don’t have ’em any more.
Till next time,
The Bonz
