Bonz says McCormick would spice up anyone’s life

This week I hadda super intresting innerview with a Big Dog cleverly disguised as a Liddle Dog. McCormick Del Brocco Riippa is a rescue Yorkie with Perpetually Perky Ears, big dark eyes, anna shiny gold-ish coat which he wears in a stylish Puppy Cut.

He an his Dad met me an my assistant at the door. McCormick was all waggy an kissy with my assistant but, when I introduced myself – “Good morning! I’m Bonzo the Columnist!” – he said, “Do you have some ID?”

“Um, sure.” I handed him my business card.

He looked it over carefully. “OK. Seems to be in order.” He trotted over for the Wag-and-Sniff, then said, “I, of course, am McCormick Del Brocco Riippa. This is my Dad, Dominic Del Brocco. My Daddy, Nick Riippa, is out doin’ stuff. Do come in. We’ll sit in the living room.”

McCormick’s house was decorated for the holidays: very pretty an festive. “Great tree,” I commented.

“Thank you,” McCormick replied, and added, “Even though it’s a tree, it’s Off Limits, you know.”

“No worries. I’m familiar with the Christmas Tree Exception,” I assured him.

“Of course. Can’t be too careful. So, how does this work? Q-an-A, I suppose.”

“Exactly. First, I’d love to know how you got that cool name. An then, how you an your Dads got together.”

“Right-o! Well, my Daddy Nick’s family always had Golden Retrievers, an they were all named after spices – Cinnamon, Rosie, Sage, Ginger – like that. My Dads thought it was a great idea but, by the time I came along, all the cool spice names had been taken. An they sure didn’t wanna name me Fenugreek. Well, as it turns out, my Dad Dom is from Baltimore, which also happens to be where that big spice company is from – McCormick. SO – waa-laa – they decided that would be the perfect spice-related name for me.”

“Great story, McCormick! An – great name!”

“Thanks. I agree. So, here’s how I got my Forever Famly: Back in 2011, My Dads were livin’ in a teeny apartment in L.A. an wanted a rescue dog. An it had to be liddle. (Not that I consider myself liddle. I prefer Space Conservative.) Anyhoo, they rescue-dog-shopped on line, found my profile picksure on the Kenmar site, an knew I was IT! I was 2-ish at the time. My Dads hadda get checked out to be sure they were worthy of me. Which they were, thank Lassie, cuz I knew they were IT, too.

“On my very first day with my new famly, I had a Shopping Adventure. L.A. is VERY pooch-frenly, so I could go in most stores. I think my new Dads got a liddle carried away in Tar-ZHAY, cuz I rode inna cart an got to pick my own stuff – beds, collars, toys, food, treats an more toys.”

“EXcellent!” I commented.

“Fer sure. Except later I ree-lized I have No Interest In Toys. Whatsoever. Oh, an, here’s something majorly pawsome: I have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Sort of.”

“This’ll be a good one,” I thought to myself, pencil poised.

“On our first Christmas together, me an Dad had the coolest idea for our Christmas card. See, we lived real near the Walk of Fame, an Dad remembered he’d seen a star for the TV actor and newsguy, Larry McCormick. SO, I carefully sat on the ‘Larry’ part, and Dad snapped a picksure, which we used on the front of our Christmas card. Of, course, we thanked Mr. McCormick pro-FUSE-ly, in ab-SEN-cha. True story.”

“Shut the doghouse door,” I exclaimed, impressed.

“Now, I pretty much run the house. I’m very tidy, and I keep Dad an Daddy PUNK-chew-ull. I don’t know how they made it without me. Dinner for example, is at 5 p.m. An I don’t mean 5 oh 4, either. I do have a liddle trouble with time zone changes, like when we go out to Cali.”

“Do you enjoy travellin’? Seems like you do a lot.”

“I love it I travel evrywhere with my Dads. Onna plane, I ride under the seat. (Being Space Conservative, an all.) I also enjoy ridin’ in the car. I’ve been to Virginia, Minn-uh-SO-duh, DC, Baltimore, Savannah, Charleston, Key West.”

“What’s your homelife like? Any pooch pals?”

“I have a big yard to play in. I do a lotta the usual squirrel chasin.’ Lizards? Meh. I enjoy sunnin’ myself. Even though we have a pool, I’m not into swimmin.’ Once I thought Daddy was drownin,’ so I leaped in to save him. Turns out he wasn’t drownin,’ but I almost did. So HE hadda save ME.

“When Dad an Daddy are gone, I sit in my favrite bed by the low window next to the front door so I can peek out an watch for them. When I see ’em packin’ their suitcases, I run over an jump in. I get a liddle (well, a lot) anxious when they’re gone. I think they should BOTH be here At All Times. Is that too much to ask?

“I’m not a huge fan of fellow pooches (present company excepted). My two besties are human: Auntie Misty, I’ve known her for YEARS. She’s been pals with my Dads since back in L.A. Now she lives right here in my neighborhood, so I get to see her a lot. It’s great! Then there’s Dad’s mom, GamGam, she’s a Snowbird. Me an her sit on the couch an watch Hallmark Channel together, while she drinks her coffee an gives me the BEST Ears-to-Toes massages EVER.”

Heading home, I was feelin’ pretty festive, thinkin’ about all the rescue pets who are celebratin’ the holidays with wonderful Forever Famlies. An about Space Conservative big-dog-in-his-heart McCormick, who is spicing up the lives of his two loving Dads.

Till next time,

The Bonz

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