This week I innerviewed Sammie Williams, a shiny black Lab/Chow mix.
I met her over on Ocean Drive, where she works with her Mom in a shop with lotsa priddy stuff for human ladies. I had figured, cuzza her bein’ a Lab/Chow, she’d be real bouncy, an kinda short. But she wasn’t.
We heard a few woofs as we opened the door, but she didn’t run up. Her Mom greeted us, an Sammie stood behind her peekin’ out, real shy. She looked mostly like a Lab, long-leggedy, but her face an muzzle were shorter an rounder, very feminine an pretty. She was wearin’ a big yellow bow on her collar, which looked real nice with her black coat.
“Good morning, Miss Sammie. I’m Bonzo the Columnist, an this is my Assistant. It is a great pleasure to meet you.”
Her ears perked an she tilted her head, but she didn’t move. Or speak.
“Er … that’s a very attractive bow you’re wearin,’” I said, by way of conversation. “Nice color choice.”
After a reassuring pat an a liddle push from her Mom, Sammie came out from behind her and said softly, “Thank you, Mr. Bonzo the Columnist. My ribbon’s ’spose to let humans know I’m a liddle shy. Won’t you have a seat? This is my first week as apprentuce greeter, an there’s so much to learn. Please don’t think me rude.”
“Not at all, Miss. Sammie. And you can call me Bonzo.”
“OK, Mr. Bonzo. This is my Mom, Lynn. We’re Posh Girls. My Dad’s Mike. He’s Elsewhere.”
“Um, ’scuse me but, what’s a Posh girl?”
“Oh, see, we all work here at this store which is called Posh. So, we’re Posh girls!”
“Cool Kibbles,” I exclaimed.
We got settled, an I took my notebook out. “I’m ready to hear your story whenever you’re ready, Miss Sammie. First off, how’d you find your Forever Famly?”
“I’ve only been with Mom an Dad about two months, now. It’s wunnerful. See, Mom wanted a dog, but DEFINITELY NOT a black dog, cuz she has white sofas. So she was pooch shoppin’ at the Humane Society, where I was livin,’ due to Unavoidable Circumstances. Lotsa humans only want a cute puppy, an I was already about 3, I think. But I was very puh-lite an well-trained. I already knew how to shake paws, an sit, an wait, and do “down.” PLUS, I enjoy the company of most humans, an most cats, once I get to know ’em. But I’m Super Shy, ’specially when a human comes up to me all bouncy an wants to pat me, or a pooch comes right up for the Wag-an-Sniff. I just kinda freeze. (I’m still workin’ on that, ackshully.)
“Anyway, when Mom spotted me, she stopped, even though I am, obviously, a Black Dog. I’m pretty sure the Humane Society humans were tellin’ her what a well behaved, smart girl I am. Which is TRUE.
“Mom still had to do more ponderin,’ though, cuz getting a dog is a Big Decision. So she visited the Humane Society again, and there I was again. That time she took me for a liddle leash walk, an we sat in a meet-an-greet room to see if we hadda Good Vibe. I was still Really Shy, but I secretly hoped she’d want me anyway. But Mom still had to Think About It. I, on the other paw, had already picked HER an Dad.
“Finally, the next day, she ree-lized I was The One, Thank Lassie. I guess she wanted me more than she didn’t want black dog hair on the white sofas. An I really, really try to Not Shed. (Holdin’ your breath doesn’t work, by the way.)
“So, what’s home life like now?” I inquired.
“It’s lovely. I ’specially like goin’ for walks with Mom. Sometimes I get excited an do this liddle jump where all four feet are off the ground at the same time. Me an Dad pal around a lot, too. I also love playin’ with Mom’s granddog, Tucker, a Brittany Spaniel. He’s my Bestie! Another fun thing’s runnin’ on the beach, the sea breeze in my ears, sand in my toes. But not swimmin’! When Tucker goes in without me, I stand on the shore an pout, cuz he’d rather get all soggy and Wet Dog, than play with ME. I don’t even like the rain. If it rains onna walk, I put my ears back an try to get Mom to head home. The only Wet I can’t escape is a bath. Ukkk. Mom says I Can Run, But I Can’t Hide.”
“I understand you have a cat.”
“Yes. Sweet Pea. When I first arrived, she hid in the bedroom. I was curious an tried to introduce myself, but she wasn’t innersted. She hissed at me. Now we are engaged in a Semi-Peaceful Co-existence.”
A lady came in from The Back, and Sammie jumped up an energetically wiggle-wagged over to her. I was surprised an impressed. “This is my best human fren, Linda,” Sammie explained. “She’s a Posh Girl, too.”
Sammie trotted over to the window and woofed a coupla times at some humans walkin’ by, then trotted back.
“I’m learning how to be puh-lite to CUSS-tummers. I’m not s’pose to bark too much. Just a frenly Welcome Woof, at most. An I do a little growly thing to remind Linda when it’s time to Open Up in the morning. That’s bein’ Helpful, right?”
“Absolutely, Miss Sammie!” I assured her.
Heading home, I was thinking about sweet, shy Miss Sammie an her pretty yellow bow. I bet she’d totally win that American Rescue Dog Wiggle-Butt competition, Paws Down!
Till next time,
The Bonz
