An old story tells of a small family whose youngest child developed a serious illness. Their local doctor told them the only hope for the child was to seek treatment from a specialist in a far distant city. But the family didn’t have the means for such a venture. Concerned, several of their friends went to the village priest to ask his advice. “Only the miser who lives at the edge of town has enough money to help the family,” he said. And so, a small delegation of friends went with the priest to visit the miser and ask for his assistance.
The priest went to the miser’s front door and knocked. He carefully explained that a small child was very ill and the only effective treatment was very expensive and was only offered in a city far away. He explained that the child’s family was poor and unable to pay for this. A bright and promising, beloved and happy child was at risk of death.
To everyone’s surprise, the miser was moved to tears and said, “Wait. I can help.” He ran into his house and a few minutes later he returned, holding out his hand to the priest. But his fist was clenched and his whole arm shook with the effort he was expending to open his fingers and release what he clutched. Eventually he opened his fist to reveal the gift he had brought: one penny. The delegation turned angrily to leave, but the priest calmly took the coin and presented an elaborate speech of gratitude to the miser. “May God grant you health and long life. May God increase your joy and surround you with heaven’s love.”
The miser was clearly touched by the priest’s expression of gratitude. “Wait a minute,” he said. He ran back into his home and returned, bringing out a larger gift. Again the priest thanked the miser graciously, and again the miser ran back to get another gift. This pattern repeated itself again and again until the priest and the friends had collected all the money necessary for the medical expenses.
As the little group of friends turned happily away, they asked the priest about the event. Why hadn’t he simply urged the miser to give the entire amount in the beginning? The priest responded, “Did you see how small that first offered gift was – just a single penny? A penny was all he had the strength to give. But when I accepted what he was able to give, that opened his heart to enable him to give more, and more, and more.”
Well, that story revolves around the use of money, but it has a greater significance. It is also about our expectations of giving and receiving. It’s about how our reactions to unmet expectations influence things. Don’t we all have people in our lives who have failed to meet our expectations from time to time? Whether a spouse, a child, a friend or a co-worker, undoubtedly we’ve all been disappointed now and then. Even though we might have needed or deserved what these people had to give, if they were incapable of giving it to us, we can hardly blame them. We may have expected too much. Perhaps they just hadn’t yet learned to open their hands and hearts to give freely of their time, resources, affection or commitment.
Next time we find ourselves disappointed by someone’s failure to meet our expectations, next time someone declines to give us what we feel we deserve and the other is capable of giving us, we might stop and think about our response. Anger at the other’s failure is unlikely to change anything. But perhaps if we try accepting what little is offered with gratitude and kindness, a whole new realm of possibility will emerge, for that person and even for us.
